FROZEN IN MARCH

I'm not in the mood to write, or think, or communicate. All I really want to do is crawl into bed and hibernate until May or June.

It's mid-afternoon here in the wilds of Tennessee, presently 18 degrees (Fahrenheit, for those of you in Jamaica). The temperature is supposed to drop to 8 (eight) degrees tonight.

Last night an ice storm blew in with howling winds. By dawn everything was covered with snow - but ice seems to be the biggest problem.
In a moment of profound absent-mindedness I completely forgot to check the water pipes and leave the faucets dripping. Miraculously the pipes didn't freeze. I plan to be much more careful tonight.

I'm definitely not in the mood to take photos, but this morning I forced myself to go outside and snap a few pics from the front and back porches. The sun appeared and the glare was so intensely bright that I couldn't see a thing through the camera lens.

I have little else to say. I'm too busy shivering and counting the minutes until spring.
Speaking of minutes and spring  - Daylight Saving Time is upon us and the clocks spring ahead tonight.

I never indulge in this annoying, ridiculous, useless time-saving crap. My clocks will stay exactly as they are. Since I'm existing in the Twilight Zone, time doesn't really matter.

I've been consuming copious amounts of tea, coffee, and soup. And Malt-O-Meal. Today I had Bigelow Royale Raspberry tea, which was wonderful. I most often use evaporated milk in tea and coffee.

I have nothing else to offer today - except for a myriad of complaints, but I'll keep them to myself.

Photos taken this morning.

     

 Bosco by the back door, deciding whether or not to go out (that's my walking stick to the left of him, leaning against the house)

 Bosco went out but then ran back inside. Those are his tracks. Next to his tracks (to the left) are the tracks of another creature - - perhaps a bird or rabbit?? I have no idea. 
(and my big footprint to the right)

Various views from the front porch.

 

ROUGH ROAD AHEAD

 

Spring is only about ten days away (I've been counting the hours, minutes, seconds).

Last week the sun actually defied the winter gloom and made a rare appearance. The temperature soared to 70 degrees (Fahrenheit). I was ecstatic - - foolishly believing that spring was arriving early. It felt so warm that I removed the winter blankets from my bed and opened the windows.

Imagine my shock and dismay when I saw the current weather forecast:
3 to 6 inches of snow tomorrow (Friday) night......and by Saturday night the temperature will plummet to 9 (nine!) degrees.

Winter is thumbing his nose at me and refusing to leave.

Fortunately, I ordered a lot of much-needed supplies online earlier this week and they will be delivered tomorrow (Friday)......before the snow arrives.

I honestly don't think the snow will be a big deal. It will probably melt in a few days (hopefully), but the fact that this Arctic blast is happening so close to spring is disheartening.

I haven't yet had time to try out my new electric keyboard (see previous post) but hopefully will soon. Things are chaotic around my rustic abode (which means I'm having a helluva lot of problems)
and I haven't been feeling well (which means I'm nearly at death's door).

Anyway, I hope things are snow-less wherever you are.
And I hope upcoming spring will expunge all the unpleasant remnants of winter.

                                             Cheers, Jon

FROZEN TUNDRA

I'm not in the mood to be poetic, artistic, or philosophically thoughtful. I'm freezing my ass off and fervently praying that there won't be a power outage.

The power lines are covered with ice and looming dangerously low. Everything outside is heavily blanketed with snow. It is unnervingly quiet - no critters, no birds, no sign of discernible life, except for thick white puffs of my frosty breath and the rude crunch of ice under my work boots.

Old Man Winter has pulverized rural Tennessee.

Inside the flimsy walls of my house, it's (miraculously) warm enough. My furnace still isn't working properly , but several space heaters are doing the job.
My two cats are sleeping on my bed next to a heater. I have the kitchen blocked off from the rest of the horrendously frigid house and it's quite cozy........as long as the power stays on.....
It's late afternoon and about 20 degrees (Fahrenheit).

This winter storm was supposed to have arrived on Saturday but was late.
Icy rain on Saturday night.
Sunday morning the ice vanished and there was torrential rain. I seriously doubted if snow would ever come.

Then, before noon, the temperature dropped drastically and heavy globs of wet snow began to fall. It snowed heavily all afternoon and into the night.

That's all I need to tell.
Hence forth, photos will prevail.

Sunday morning was bleak with heavy rain. These trees overlook the neighboring cow pasture.

Rain turned to snow around noon and the backyard forest was turning white.
 

Monday morning (that's today) - it's suddenly a winter wonderland!

View from the front porch.

And numerous glimpses from the back "yard" (below) - all photos taken from the back porch

 

 

SLIGHTLY SHIVERING

Thirty years ago I was told that the Arctic ice floes were rapidly melting and polar bears were dying.

Well, comrades, I just looked out my window and saw a family of polar bears freezing to death. 

Am I being sarcastic?
Nope. I wouldn't even think of it.

Presently here in the wilds of Tennessee there's a winter storm warning with the promise of 6 to 10 inches of snow. It's snowing heavily as I write this. I just took a screenshot of our current weather conditions at noon (above).

Tonight the temperature is dropping to near zero (0). The fact that my furnace isn't working will definitely enhance the excitement of the occasion. I'm presently heating the house with numerous space heaters. And, after I finish writing this blog post, I'll be putting a roast in the slow cooker. My two cats are sleeping on the bed, near a space heater. The bedroom and kitchen are presently the two warmest rooms. The rest of the house is ICE.

Fear not - - I'm feeling cozy and doing okay so far......
BUT, if we get a power outage tonight I'm a dead duck. 

If I survive the night, I'll try to take more snow photos tomorrow.

Send positive thoughts my way. I sure as hell am going to need them.

                                       Cheers, Jon

  

WINTER BITES TENNESSEE

Last night Old Man Winter sneaked up and bit Tennessee on the ass. Snow, ice, blustery winds, and bone-shivering temperatures.

This past week was unseasonably mild. It was 65 degrees (Fahrenheit) on Christmas Eve and 70 degrees on New Year's Day. I thought I had been magically transported back to California.

The frightfully frigid gods of winter saw my delight and decided to thwart it. Just after dusk last evening the temperature began to plummet, wicked winds howled, and ice pelted the windows. At around 2:00 a.m. there was a power outage. The two cats and I shivered in bed until dawn - when the power was miraculously restored.

When I finally pried myself out of bed and looked outside I was greeted by a winter wonderland - - or an Arctic nightmare, more likely. 

Despite my abject disgust and misery, I grabbed my El Cheapo digital camera and ventured outside for a quick walk in the woods. Unfortunately, there was too much ice and mud. And my intended route was completely blocked by a massive pile of trees that were toppled in the tornadic storm that we had several weeks ago.

It was also colder than a penguin's kiss. My hands were so numb that I could hardly hold the camera. So I stayed home and took a few pics from the front and back porches.

The snowy glare was so bright that I couldn't see anything through the camera lens. All of my efforts were blind guesses. 

The woods in the back "yard"

View from the front "yard" (above). A tiny glimpse of the roof of my house on the left.

 

WHITE

 

A tangle of wicked winter - - more ice than snow, more branches than sky. Frigid mists that have taken up permanent residence  in the shelter of the forest. The sunless days are bland, monochromatic, void of color. Winter white.

Sightless phantoms gather in the dead of night to ride on ice-encrusted gusts of wind, and shriek with devious laughter as they shake the timid house and rattle thin windows. 

And I yearn for the rescue of a spring that never comes, the impossible promise of rebirth and rejuvenation. The salvation of blossoms and leaves lingering on an unattainable horizon that taunt me with the possibility of a thaw, while I shiver in a prison of ice.

                                       Jon, shivering
                                       in a poetic mode

 

WHITE CHRISTMAS

 

 

 On Christmas Eve the temperature dropped drastically but the predicted snow didn't materialize. I had to settle for icy fog and sporadic flurries.

Due to the intense cold, I stayed up all night - making sure the water pipes didn't freeze, keeping a check on the temperamental furnace, and thanking God that we didn't have a power outage.

I occupied the dark frozen hours by drinking tea and hot chocolate, eating all the goodies I could find, and watching videos  on YouTube and movies on TCM.

Just before dawn the wind began to howl and it started to snow! Just like a Christmas miracle in a Hallmark movie! 

Instinctively, I grabbed my El Cheapo camera and went outside. It was a bone-chilling 10 degrees (Fahrenheit) and still nearly dark, so I didn't stay out long - but at least I captured a few haphazard glimpses of the snow.

When daylight finally came I decided not to take any more photos, but I did toss out a supply of stale bread for the birds. 

Back yard

 

Front yard

 My piano arrangement of White Christmas

 And since I almost never post videos of myself at the keyboard, here's an old unedited VHS clip of me rehearsing the Pas de Deux from The Nutcracker ballet (recorded in Texas).

Video and audio are poor quality - and I had the light purposely focused on my hands - not my lovely face (lol)

 

COLD DECEMBER

  

The weather prediction came true. I had my doubts, but the temperature dropped drastically and on Monday afternoon it began to snow lightly.

After dusk the temperature plummeted and it snowed much of the night. By midnight it was 18 degrees (that's Fahrenheit, for those of you in Guam).

I was feeling rotten and there was no plausible reason to stay up, so I settled in bed around 7:00 p.m. - with an electric blanket, my laptop, and two cats.

Just when things were getting cozy, an icy wind made the bare trees tremble and the power went out.

It's a rather frequent occurrence, but this time I wasn't expecting it. I'm sure I mentioned this before: everything in the house runs on electricity. Furnace, stove......electric blanket......
It was gonna be one helluva cold night.

Even under the best conditions, this is the coldest house I've ever lived in. It's like being in an igloo with the air conditioner on.
I don't need a furnace. I need an exorcist.

I clumsily staggered around in the dark searching for a flashlight, candles, matches, and extra blankets.

It was one of the longest nights I can remember. Absolute agony. I shivered in bed - watching the candles flicker and listening to the restless shrieks and diabolical howls of hungry coyotes.

Tuesday, the first day of December. Only 24 degrees for the daytime "high". Thank God the power was back on.

I wanted to venture into the forest and take some snowy pictures but it was very damp, extremely cold, and I have an agonizing pain in my left foot (among other things).
So I only took photos from the safety of the front and back porches.

The Halloween jack-o-lantern is still surviving

The misty front "yard" on Monday when it first started snowing.

Front porch

My cats went outside for about thirty seconds, then ran in.

My car, with new tires....(see previous blog post)

Wild back yard

 

 

Front yard (again) on Tuesday, Dec. 1st.

I'll give you a moment to catch your breath from all the excitement.......and check for frostbite.

 Thanks to the "new and improved" Blogger format, I almost lost my mind (or what's left of it) trying to change my blog background.
And I apologize for not being able to leave comments on some of my favorite blogs due to a computer "glitch". There doesn't seem to be any way to fix it.

WEIRD WEEK

I had several Hollywood posts lined up, because February is Oscar month. I figured it would be more palatable than writing about my pathetically mundane and depressing life.

But this past week was kinda weird, so I've opted to inflict you with a condensed account of it. Which, of course, will include glimpses of my pathetically mundane and depressing life.

I'll wait a moment until your shrieks of joy die down.
At least I think it was joy.

Last Monday, an unexpected breath of spring made an impromptu visit to Tennessee. The temperature soared to 70 degrees (Fahrenheit), accompanied by strong southern winds. 
I had planned on driving to town (I'm desperately low on supplies again) but a bad migraine headache thwarted my plan (is there such a thing as a good migraine headache?).

Anyway, I savored the day. Opened the windows. Let the cats out on the porch. Made some iced tea. 
Yes, iced tea.
Figured I go to town on Tuesday.

Tuesday came, along with relentless, torrential rains. The mud was deep, the roads were slick. There was no way in hell I wanted to drive to town.
Even on sunny, beautiful days I get anxiety attacks driving to town.
I'd go on Wednesday.

On Wednesday the rain was worse. Crap, I'll go on Thursday.

Things were flooded by Thursday. The only place with more rain than Tennessee is Vietnam during the monsoon season.
I considered building a pontoon.

Friday was out of the question (that's today). On Thursday night an Arctic cold front blew in. Temperatures rapidly dropped.
No problem At least my furnace was working. And my electric blanket. And the space heaters.

Just as I was relaxing, there was a power outage. I spent the cold, black, agonizingly long night in bed - shivering with the two cats.

It was snowing by dawn. Eventually the power came back on. We had heat again.
This morning, around 7:00 a.m., I crept outside and took photos....for your viewing pleasure. 

View from the front porch

Front yard

Glimpse of my car

Front porch

Back yard

front yard again

Bosco