A few nights ago I did a random Internet search for Hollywood hustlers (aw, settle down - it was for a very legitimate cause) and I was completely shocked when some ancient photos of me showed up. I kid you not.
After I regained consciousness, I realized that the Internet photos were lifted from some posts about Hollywood that I had written on my old blog Lone Star Concerto.
So what's the point of all this, Jon?
The point is, it's ironic and almost funny that I'm inadvertently associated with gay porn stars and Hollywood hustlers. That's a term for a male prostitute - in case any of you innocent Midwest Baptists are wondering.
A Hollywood hustler
(it's not me - - hell, I looked better than that)
actually I think this hustler photo was taken in San Francisco....but who cares?
First of all, I never made any gay porn movies (well none that I'll admit to, anyway). Second I was never a hustler. I was a cruiser. There's a subtle difference.
Why do I have the feeling that I'm digging myself into a hole and will soon be buried?
I'm smiling while I'm writing this because
1) I find wry humor in the whole situation, and
2) I'm an idiot.
I plan to write a book about my Hollywood adventures, hopefully soon - - not because I'm particularly proud of my youthful debaucheries, but because I had the rare opportunity of experiencing many extraordinary things in an extremely unique environment. The few incidents that I revealed in my blogs are only paltry fragments of an incredible journey.
Yea, I know - the sleazy subject of West Hollywood, aptly known as Boystown, has already been done to death in more tawdry novels and mediocre memoirs than anyone cares to remember. A few of the memoirs are good. Most, however, are embarrassingly bad - with poor writing about inconsequential incidents that drag on for unnecessary chapters.
I'm not saying that my contribution will be any better, but it's a subject I know well. I was a part of the Hollywood scene during a fantastic time: when it was still dark and trashy, raw and real, with delicious lingering remnants of the golden past. It hadn't yet become the renovated, revitalized, plastic Disneyesque parody of Hollywood that it is today.
.....my life is an open book......
One of my big regrets is that I have very few photos of my Hollywood years. When I moved from California to the Missouri Ozarks most of them were lost. Ironically, when I moved from Texas to Tennessee, all of my California diaries and journals were lost (stolen?).
These are enormous loses from which I've never recovered. With the absence of my photos and journals, my California past is largely expunged. All I have left are my memories - which is why I have a desperate desire to write them down.
A question may arise concerning my photos.
Why, do you keep using the same old photos of yourself over and over, Jon?
Good question. I'm glad you asked.
First of all, I looked a helluva lot better a hundred years ago than I do now. If I use recent photos I'll frighten people and dissolve illusions.
Second, since I only have a few Hollywood photos, I admittedly have to overuse them. Most of those old photos were taken by my "friend" Phil - - the ex-con-drug-dealer-turned-photographer, who had been in prison for attempted murder. I wrote about him in a previous post.....
The night we were stoned and drunk and went over a cliff in a stolen car after a 90 MPH joy ride.
In retrospect, the story of my life would not only make a good book, it would probably make a damn good movie, too.....
Alas, it's far too late for me to die young and make a good looking corpse. I'd rather be remembered as a young California cutie than the dilapidated, washed-up, sunburned alcoholic that I am now.
I'm starting to ramble. Time for me to quit writing and go to sleep.
Me now -
an ancient relic
This post makes me think of a book that I am currently reading, "Full Service", by Scotty Bowers. It is not well written, but it is entertaining as an expose of hidden Hollywood in the 40's, 50's and 60's, by a guy who was in the know and in the sack. Whether or not all his stories are true, I am sure most of then are and it is funny to think of what was really going on as opposed to the public perception. I am sure YOUR book would be much better written!
ReplyDeleteI've heard about Bower's book and read a few disheartening reviews (some claim that it's more wishful thinking than fact). I will definitely put it on my reading list. I love to read sleazy memoirs!
DeleteI find it hard to believe that the culture back then in Hollywood was so sex and queer friendly behind closed doors, but he does name names, and that is where some of it rings false. But it is fun reading!
DeleteYou seem to have a reliable and retentive memory, which is good because it's not vulnerable to theft. To my own memory I apply a favorite Emo Philips line (approximately): I used to think my brain is my most wonderful organ, then realized it was the one telling me this. But with your engaging style, wit and gift for description, I'm sure your memoir would be fascinating without specifically naming anybody you can't say something nice, neutral or non-libelous about.
ReplyDeleteI actually remember Emo Philips - - which I suppose confirms the retentive aspect of my memory. If I treat people nicely and with neutrality in my memoir, I'll probably avoid lawsuits. They shall be respectfully nameless when I mention intimate encounters.
ReplyDeleteI just pre-ordered your book. When is it being released? Hop to it. Write it dammit.
ReplyDeleteI'm presently revising two other books that I've written, which is taking an annoyingly long amount of time. I would love to have the Hollywood book finished before the end of this year (maybe sooner). I needed the gentle kick in the ass that you've given me. Thanks!
DeleteJon,
ReplyDeleteI anxiously await your book! I understand your concern about identifying certain individuals, both living and dead. I have the same concern. I feel the need to write "my story" but I am concern with embarrassing the living and the family members of those who have died. From my first sexual experience (nine years old with an uncle - I was the "aggressor") to my first full fledged sexual experience when I was in the Army (he's still living and I have too much respect for him to embarrass him). It is a quandary isn't it Jon? I wonder how many of us who follow your blog have similar stories to tell, both straight and gay. I know myself I have uncovered a few long ago buried secrets in my own family including my grandmother who bore a child out of wedlock who she raised at her "brother" until he died at eleven years old. I think I will tell that story.
Jon, no need to apologize for posting same photos of yourself. None of your blog followers are complaining. I frequently post the same photos because I have limited photos to post from that time. I just wish I had taken more. I have plenty of photos now which I will post.
Isn't it interesting what is on the Internet about us now from what we post in our blog? I did a Google search last year and was shocked at what came up on me. Now I'm more careful with what I post on my blog.
By the way, I was never a hustler but I did my share of cruising. Once, just for the hell of it, I "purchased" one of those hustlers. I loved it! Only did it once though. I didn't want to get hooked. There, I think I've divulged too much already.
Ron
Ron, both of us have to write our memoirs - - we have interesting stories to tell. At this late time in my life, I don't really give a hoot what my relatives or friends think. They all have dark secrets (not nearly as colorful as mine, however).
DeleteWow, you were nine when you had your first sexual experience? And with an uncle?? I'll be blunt and say that's hot.
I was an very late bloomer. I didn't have my first sexual experience until I was nineteen - but I sure made up for lost.
"time" is supposed to be the final word in my comment. "Lost TIME".
DeleteWho gets to play you in the movie?
ReplyDeleteIronically, Raybeard asked me the same question in a previous post. The only actor I could come up with was the Australian-born Ryan Kwanten, only because I thought he was cute in "Dead Silence".
DeleteI thought about Chord Overstreet, but he's too inexperienced. Actually, Owen Wilson has a personality similar to mine.
Hmmmmm - decisions, decisions.......
Aw, don't be so hard on your image in the looking glass Jon. Me and my waffle-iron complexion have that that covered for both of us! But I love what blog-pal Mary says when she calls herself, "well seasoned"!
ReplyDeleteAnnnyway, it sounds like I'll have to wrestle Taryterre out of the way to be first in line at your book's premiere. Like she says, I can't wait!
BTW, I love your composition in the photo (of-the-photo) with the candle! That's something that begs looking back 'one more time' again and again.
Wow, if I already have two people waiting to buy my book, that's incentive enough to write it. I doubt if any of my relatives will be waiting in line.
Delete"well-seasoned" is a polite enough description. At least I haven't cracked any mirrors. Yet.......
I've been waiting to buy your book for at least eight years. What am I, chopped liver?
ReplyDeleteWhen I finally finish writing it (and getting it published) I'll personally deliver an autographed copy to you.
DeleteNow that I know THREE people who want to read my book, I am much more inspired to write.
Jon, I have a few random thoughts/questions. First, I wonder if that pic of you in the cowboy hat was some sort of homage to the hustler that was Harold's "present" in The Boys in the Band; I believe he was a "cowboy." Second, how are you doing with pest control? From your vivid descriptions, I fear it may come to requiring professional help (and what about the underground things that also love wood, like termites and carpenter ants? Did you get an inspection done before your purchase?). Third, might you be able to make an insurance claim against the movers who lost your belongings? Depending on how you paid and such, even if the movers deny any negligence or you weren't insured or the claim is denied, you might be able to get help from your credit card company (if you used that as the payment method, and if your CC company offers such a remedy). I realize money won't replace the lost journals, but revenge can sometimes be sweet. And please see a doctor after those terrible falls you've taken. Hope you have a great (and safe) weekend. ~~~ NB
ReplyDeleteOH, and I would also read your book. If you don't mind, please mention the good memoirs you've read about Hollywoodland. I enjoyed The Celluloid Closet and Full Service. Well, and of course Mommie Dearest and My Mother's Keeper. ~~ NB
Wow, NB - you've placed a tall order.
DeleteThe cowboy hat isn't an homage to the hustler in "The Boys in the Band" (yes, Harold's present was indeed a cowboy). I often wore boots and a cowboy hat when I was a kid in Hollywood simply because I liked them and the facade that they projected. When I moved to Texas I wore them out of necessity.
I'm making progress with killing bees and wasps and plugging up nesting holes, but I still have far to go. It's much more work than I imagined. I did have an inspection for termites and ants before I purchased the place and it came up clean. Since the wood on my porches and decks was never previously treated, I plan to paint them and then use a sealer.
I'm still dealing with the moving company - - and unfortunately I wasn't insured (like a FOOL, I trusted them to be competent). They not only lost my journals, much of my piano music is missing, along with antique books, and a very large toolbox. I'm frustrated and disgusted beyond belief. More about this later.
I'll have to think carefully about what Hollywood memoirs to suggest. I've read so many, and they all seem to blur together after awhile. I have read "Mommy Dearest", "My Mother's Keeper", and "Celluloid Closet" but I haven't yet read "Full Service". I've had some incredible adventures in Hollywood during my reckless youth. I never realized how unique they were at the time, but in retrospect I feel that they need to be told.
You said “Since the wood on my porches and decks was never previously treated, I plan to paint them and then use a sealer.” I’ve had a lot of problems with the carpenter bees in past years on my large deck in back. For some reason they seem to attack the vertical posts more rather than the horizontal members. I got to where I didn’t like the look of the weathered treated wood posts so I painted them with flat black exterior latex paint I got from Lowes. It went on easily and quickly and one coat was plenty. I like that look much better. I don’t see any need for an additional sealer. I also bought a tube of black latex caulk also from Lowes and used it to fill the half-inch diameter openings to the many cavities made by the bees in past years. I saw no need to try to fill the entire cavity, just blocked up the access hole.
DeleteThis year in the past weeks I saw a good number of the bees flying around but haven’t yet found a new hole they’ve made and after a few days they apparently went somewhere else. I built one of those traps but have no evidence that they even noticed it, not one found in the collection bottle. Your results and tastes may vary.
I haven't had any luck with the bee traps, either. Ironically, almost all of the holes on my back porch are on the horizontal beams - not the vertical posts. I initially (foolishly) used wood putty to seal the holes and - of course - the bees have reopened many of them. The exterior latex paint sounds like a good idea, as does the latex caulk. Many thanks for your input.
ReplyDeleteA colourful life, well lived. You can't ask for much more than that. Certainly, you make my own life seem dull and pedestrian. But we need to lived as hour heart guides us, right? How boring the world would be if we were all the same.
ReplyDeleteI shall enjoy reading more of your colourful and entertaining life one day.
I really need to proof read my comments. Apologies... I'm not quite as uneducated as these comments may lead you to believe!
DeleteCraig, I honestly didn't see the errors until you mentioned them. No need to apologize. If I had a dollar for every error I made while writing comments I'd be extremely wealthy!
DeleteStrangely enough, during my wild and reckless young years I never thought my life was colorful or particularly interesting. Now, in retrospect, I'm astonished at it. I enjoy writing about it and it's rewarding to know that others enjoy reading it.
ReplyDeleteI just stumbled on your blog and I'm dying to read your book. As a firm believer that we all have a valid story to tell and hidden between the colorful lines of the tawdry tales, wisdoms to share, I say, 'Do it!" I do know the "Hollywood" you speak of - less limelight and many more shadows. Places like The Gold Cup on Las Palmas and that stretch of Sta Monica Blvd. right at Highland, heading west for a couple blocks.... Blah, blah, blah... Write it! Honestly, and if the concern over naming names is too great, borrow a page from Dominic Dunne's "handbook" - go "roman a clef" and use your skills to craft insanely accurate descriptions of your "invented" characters. When done well, it adds to the experience because the reader is always thinking about who's who even when the book is closed. Makes for great word-of-mouth which makes for better sales and all without the fear of legal repercussions. You have a new follower. TELL YOUR STORY!
ReplyDeleteI truly appreciate your kind words of encouragement and advice - and I'm delighted you stumbled into my blog. Please return any time!
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