TWENTY

Questions "borrowed" from Sunday Stealing


1. What is the most fun thing you have ever done?
The most "fun thing"?? That covers a helluva lot of ground. Extracting a single event from a long and unbearably "fun" life would be a complete impossibility.
My usually fertile mind is a blank.
 
2. Are you left-handed or right-handed?
I am technically right-handed, but more aptly ambidextrous. I attribute this from being a pianist. Both hands have to be trained equally well.
I eat and brush (what's left of) my teeth with my left hand. I write with my right hand.
 
3. What is the nicest thing someone has ever done for you?
My cousin Nancy literally saved my life last summer when I was in dire straights and suicidal. She knows what I'm talking about.
 
4. What is the biggest animal you’ve seen in the wild?
Probably a stegosaurus in the Arizona desert.
Sorry. I couldn't resist.
 
5. What is the smallest animal you’ve seen in the wild?
It was so small that I couldn't tell what it was.
 
6. Do you ever have funny dreams at night?
I never have funny dreams. Let's put it this way: my dreams are so dark and disturbing that they'd confuse Nietzsche and scare the shit out of Freud.
 
7. If you could make a law for your country, what would it be?
Okay - you asked for it. Hang onto your wigs and girdles, it's going to be a bumpy night.

There is an ugly trend that is presently tainting our nation:
Most of the liberals and Democrats hate our country and despise our President. I say that we should round the bastards up and send them to another country - where they can all wallow in hate and misery by themselves.

If this offends you - - good.
 
8. What would you do if you were invisible for a day?
Why would I want to be invisible? Even for a day?
Heck, I'd probably spend the day in the women's restroom at Walmart and see what's really going on. 
 
9. If you could be someone else for a day, who would you be?
 I'd wanna be Queen For A Day (remember that old TV show?).
 
10. What would you like to change about yourself?
Why change someone who is absolutely perfect?
Actually, there are so many things I'd like to change about myself that the list would extend into the middle of next week. 
 
11. What is your daily routine?
My routine would be too tedious and boring to list.
 
12. What would your perfect day be like?
Since I can't recall ever having a perfect day in my life, it would be difficult to imagine one.
 
13. How old were you when you learned to read?
I was probably four years old - in first grade at Rutger's Preparatory School in New Jersey. Reading has been one of the greatest joys of my life.
 
14. What is the most interesting thing you know?
I know so many interesting things that I actually scare myself.
 
15. What makes you nervous?
Appointments.
Cops in the rear view mirror.
Anyone with "Dr." in front of their name.
Lovers who suddenly tell you about the STDs they formerly had.
Tornado Sirens.
Questionnaires.
Vegans.
Greenpeace.
Waiting in line at Walmart.
Running out of toilet paper.
Jane Austen novels. 
Birthdays.
 
16. What is your favourite flower?
The gardenia, without a doubt - it evokes heavenly memories. White roses. Honeysuckle.
 
17. Have you ever ridden on a horse or any other animal?
Are you kidding???
Read by blog post entitled Wild Ride. The link can be presently found on my sidebar.
 
18. What time do you go to bed?
Usually around dawn.
 
19. What time do you get up?
Generally around nine or ten in the morning. Getting three or four hours of sleep a night is probably why I feel like I died three weeks ago.
 
20. Do you know how to swim?
I learned to swim in California when I was six. A neighbor lady taught me.
My father was far too volatile to teach me, and my mother couldn't swim.