I'm in bed, in an extremely uncomfortable position - with a laptop, a portable fan, and Bosco the cat.
My ailments haven't abated.
In plain English, I feel like shit.
Painfully swollen knee. Extremely painful hip. Painful back.
I suspect a slipped disk.
I've opted for considering the lesser of all the possible back maladies.
Been this way for nearly a week . Can't bend my left leg at all , which drastically limits the things I can do.
I can hobble into the kitchen, but can only stand for a few minutes. And I can't sit because I can't bend my leg.
Preparing a decent meal is impossible. For the past five days I've been existing on hamburgers. Cook it in a skillet, plop it in a bun with a slice of tomato, and eat while leaning on the kitchen counter. Then hobble back to bed.
I'm now out of hamburgers. Tomorrow it's tuna. Or mackerel.
And, of course, it's the hottest week of the year. In the 90's with jungle humidity. The insects are ecstatic: meticulously organized armies of gnats, flies, wasps, and mosquitoes.
I sure as hell could use some mosquito netting. My bedroom has the seedy and unregulated atmosphere of a Bangkok brothel.
How do you know what a Bangkok brothel is like, Jon?
I'm only imagining. Trust me - I'm as innocent and pure as a hermetically sealed condom.
Being confined to bed with no satisfying diversions is infuriatingly maddening. I had grandiose plans of painting my bedroom, repainting the porches, finally renovating the two bathrooms, and fixing things up around here.
Instead, I'm a bed-ridden cripple with no discernible possibility of recovery.
Why don't you go to a doctor, Jon?
Hey, Kemosabe - I can't walk, and my swollen knee and petrified leg makes it completely impossible to put on a pair of pants.
If I felt good enough to go to a doctor, I wouldn't need one.
Besides, I've never been a doctor groupie.
I'm not gonna pay some condescending quack who'll dispense pain pills and tell me to rest and apply ice. Or take 300 unnecessary x rays.
If my ailments don't improve by next week, I'm going to panic. I need to go to town.
Yesterday I paid some bills electronically (which I don't like to do - too much online information).
Usually I pay the bills when I'm in town. Or mail them.
I have a helluva lot more complaints - and even more ailments - but I'll keep them to myself.
If I bitch too much my charm and desirability will wane - as inconceivable as it might sound.
Note:
I've been reading your blogs, but haven't felt like leaving comments. I'm not in a congenial mood.
WHAT, MORE?
I just went in the kitchen to get a drink. When I crawled back into bed a gnat flew in my mouth!! I tried to cough it up but swallowed it!!!
Oh well, that's not the worst thing I ever swallowed......
get well my dear friend. get well.
ReplyDeleteThank you - it's always good to hear from you.
DeleteWhile I'm sorry you're not any better … I'm immensely relieved to see this post. (Color me, worried sick!)
ReplyDeleteWish you'd reconsider seeing a doctor. Would Nancy be able to take you? I wondered if, perhaps, you had an infection from a bite … but then, you didn't mention having a fever. Please keep us posted!
It means a lot to know that you care, Myra. Nancy called (she reads my blog)and offered to take me to the doctor and/or get supplies from the store.So at least I have her to rely on.
DeleteMy leg looks a little better but I still can't bend it. I'm thinking that the trouble is being caused more by my hip than my back. Bursitis??
Jon, through all your hardships and challenges right now, you're still able to keep your wonderful sense of humor.
ReplyDelete" I'm as innocent and pure as a hermetically sealed condom.
Oh well, that's not the worst thing I ever swallowed......"
Those cracked up!!
Damn, it sounds like you're going through hell right now. Doesn't it always seem that when it rains it pours? Everything seems to happen at once. Do you at least have a neighbor or friend close by that could help you? Someone to go into town for you?
And I know what you mean about paying bills online, electronically. I'm old school, I pay most of my bills by writing a check and mailing it. Most people think I'm insane for still doing that. But like you, I don't trust the Internet. And I most definitely don't trust using my cell phone to pay bills. I know of several people who's information was hacked while making a purchase on their cell phone. I have made purchases online, using my computer, but very seldom.
You take care, my friend! Be well!
Ron, I haven't written about HALF my troubles. If I ever told everything, nobody would believe it.
DeleteI'm always delighted when people (like yourself) appreciate my humor. I think I'm funny - but I'm sure not everyone agrees. Humor is the only thing that gets me through difficult times.
Like you , I always prefer to pay bills by check - the old fashioned way. I'm leery of giving out personal information online. When I lived in Texas, somebody got my credit card information and the whole ordeal was a nightmare. It turned out to be a woman in Europe!
At that time I was lax about online security.
And I learned to ALWAYS SIGN OUT after you use websites such as eBay or Paypal. I was foolishly careless about such things.
Well, now that September is here, it's hotter than it was in August!!!
Have a cool weekend!
What about your cousin? Sometimes family are the only people who can help. Believe me, I know. You really need to go in--been over a week now. Do you have any shorts or cut offs? They might be easier to get on. Hell--a robe? jJust cover up with something or other and call your cousin. :)
ReplyDeleteMy cousin called and said she'd take me to the doctor, get, groceries, or anything I need - which is reassuring. I'm going yo just rest over the weekend and see if I improve by next week. I tried to put shorts on yesterday and my leg was too painful to lift.
DeleteIm still getting caught up with my blogs since getting back. I was hoping you would be better by time I got back this time. It must be bad if your eating mackerel. Yuck.
ReplyDeleteIt has to get better right? I mean every storm eventually runs out of rain.
Maddie, it never seems to stop raining in my territory.
DeleteWhat do you mean - you don't like mackerel??? I love it!
Dear Jon, if you're swallowing gnats it means the food supply is diminishing. Please get Nancy involved. You're important to me and any illness you suffer causes me great inconvenience --and, to think, some people call me selfish.
ReplyDeleteThere's a surplus of insects here, Geo -- the supply would last for years.
DeleteI can always rely on my cousin, which is a great reassurance.
I truly appreciate your concern, but I hope you're not feeling any of my pain.... Right now the HEAT is bothering me more than the pain. It's a sweltering September.
I was sorry to read about your problems, Jon. What a shame you people don't have the sort of service we get from our medics. If I have a health problem.... I call the doc. All part of our Health Service. Anyway, I do hope things ease off for you. Keeping you in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteYour concern and prayers are greatly appreciated, Valerie. I live in such a rural area that a doctor would have a hard time finding mt place.
DeleteLate to reading this post, Jon, and left a comment on the most current one, first. As Ron said, it also amazes me that you can include a bit of humor, even though self-directed, in the midst of such agony. Pain is bad enough, but those insects and unrelenting heat are just as bad. Like others have said, I also hope that your cousin can provide some assistance in whatever form...food, transport, etc. We fellow bloggers may not be able to personally provide aid, but we care about your well being.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for your concern, Dorothy. My cousin has always been a great help to me - it's good to know that I have someone nearby I can rely on (we live about 15 miles from each other).
DeleteHumor is one of the few things that keeps me going.
When you start to have numbness it is really time to go to the doctor. I know this from experience.
ReplyDeleteI've had two previous spinal injuries - which are the cause of all my current problems. Thank goodness I don't have numbness (yet...)
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