I'm in bed, in an extremely uncomfortable position - with a laptop, a portable fan, and Bosco the cat.
My ailments haven't abated.
In plain English, I feel like shit.
Painfully swollen knee. Extremely painful hip. Painful back.
I suspect a slipped disk.
I've opted for considering the lesser of all the possible back maladies.
Been this way for nearly a week . Can't bend my left leg at all , which drastically limits the things I can do.
I can hobble into the kitchen, but can only stand for a few minutes. And I can't sit because I can't bend my leg.
Preparing a decent meal is impossible. For the past five days I've been existing on hamburgers. Cook it in a skillet, plop it in a bun with a slice of tomato, and eat while leaning on the kitchen counter. Then hobble back to bed.
I'm now out of hamburgers. Tomorrow it's tuna. Or mackerel.
And, of course, it's the hottest week of the year. In the 90's with jungle humidity. The insects are ecstatic: meticulously organized armies of gnats, flies, wasps, and mosquitoes.
I sure as hell could use some mosquito netting. My bedroom has the seedy and unregulated atmosphere of a Bangkok brothel.
How do you know what a Bangkok brothel is like, Jon?
I'm only imagining. Trust me - I'm as innocent and pure as a hermetically sealed condom.
Being confined to bed with no satisfying diversions is infuriatingly maddening. I had grandiose plans of painting my bedroom, repainting the porches, finally renovating the two bathrooms, and fixing things up around here.
Instead, I'm a bed-ridden cripple with no discernible possibility of recovery.
Why don't you go to a doctor, Jon?
Hey, Kemosabe - I can't walk, and my swollen knee and petrified leg makes it completely impossible to put on a pair of pants.
If I felt good enough to go to a doctor, I wouldn't need one.
Besides, I've never been a doctor groupie.
I'm not gonna pay some condescending quack who'll dispense pain pills and tell me to rest and apply ice. Or take 300 unnecessary x rays.
If my ailments don't improve by next week, I'm going to panic. I need to go to town.
Yesterday I paid some bills electronically (which I don't like to do - too much online information).
Usually I pay the bills when I'm in town. Or mail them.
I have a helluva lot more complaints - and even more ailments - but I'll keep them to myself.
If I bitch too much my charm and desirability will wane - as inconceivable as it might sound.
Note:
I've been reading your blogs, but haven't felt like leaving comments. I'm not in a congenial mood.
WHAT, MORE?
I just went in the kitchen to get a drink. When I crawled back into bed a gnat flew in my mouth!! I tried to cough it up but swallowed it!!!
Oh well, that's not the worst thing I ever swallowed......
