A slight disagreement with the night attendant- - an elderly man with a dour temperament.
I told him I didn't get my antibiotic injection tonight (Saturday). He said I did.
Note - - I called it a virus, but it's a bacteria infection
I'm required to get ten injections. So far I got four. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. No Saturday.
I'm neither senile nor crazy (not yet, anyway). I keep track of things. Well hell, let them figure it out.
Several ghastly things happened yesterday (Saturday) but I'll only mention one.
I skipped lunch, due to stomach problems. When dinner came, I decided to eat. A turkey, cheese, and bacon sandwich - - with French fries and a tomato salad.
I just started to enjoy the meal when
Suddenly
the sleeve of my hospital gown was soaked. Blood was gushing from my arm "wound" (I'll call it that, although it's really.......)
I pressed the call button for help. Two nurses attended to my wound.
I've had this bleeding monstrosity since April. I'm so disgusted that I don't give a damn. With my left hand, while they worked - - I continued eating!
NOTHING is going to ruin my meal.
BUT my hospital gown had to be changed TWO times due to the blood.
When they finally finished putting 300 yards of bandages on (slight exaggeration), I finished my meal.
I could say a lot more, but to hell with details.
I might be able to see my oncologist next week - - but what good will that do? He's not a surgeon. He'll (possibly) look at it.
It's waste of time......of which I haven't much left.
I want to go home to the great respite of the forest - - where the wind whispers through the trees with prayers of reassurance.
I've been having strange dreams - - of my parents - - - of being able to walk again.
My mind is subtracting the present, resurrecting the past.
Why am I revealing this?
I'm fervently and faithfully doing leg excercises in bed.....it's the only hope I have........besides prayers.
Praying
I might see my home again
For now, it's only photos
I only have to step outside to see these views.....and the seasons.... all on my property....
Spring blossoms
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Summer
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Winter
Autumn
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And other times
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Jon, remembering 🤎
(I posted too many photos)
Praying, for you, Jon. 🙏 I went recently to my childhood home. Hadn't been there in 42 years. I had thought of it many times and found it hard to believe I was there. You can go home again. It can happen.
ReplyDeleteI'm completely frustrated, but prayers do help. I keep plodding onward through the mire.....towards home.
DeleteI hope so much you'll see it again. The pictures are wonderful.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Liz. I haven't given up hope yet. Glad that you are doing okay.
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DeleteThere’s such quiet beauty in the way you’ve captured the changing seasons—it’s clear how deeply you love that land. I truly hope you're able to return to it soon, to feel its peace and presence all around you. No one should be so far from the place that holds their heart.
ReplyDeleteI feel like I'm wasting my time here. Surely I could get physical therapy at home. I'm going to wait, because of my arm - - then I'll request a discharge and home care.
DeleteIt’s too bad they wouldn’t continue with your PT. You would have been out of there long ago. I have a friend that has absolutely no health insurance and she gets the best of care. PLUS they
ReplyDeleteShould have taken care of your arm a few months ago!! I have no clue what’s going on but it smells fishy to me or plain inhumane! Just not right.
Here’s hoping you get out of there sooner rather than later!
You're absolutely right. I would have been out of here if I could have finished PT. I have no idea why there's a delay for my arm surgery. I can't wait much longer and I'm letting them know.
DeleteI initially had faith in this place, but I'm quickly losing it.
My goal is to go home and resume PT with home health care.
Oops! Your friend in Texas! lol
ReplyDeleteNot too many photos, they are beautiful to see. I am so sorry you are not getting the care you need. Health care combined with corporate ownership.
ReplyDeleteI have mixed emotions and don't know what to believe. Things changed when my insurance stopped coverage for physical therapy. I was forced to sign up with Hospice in order to stay here. That complicated things a lot.
DeleteNo, you did not post too many photos. Thank you! Praying that you do find a way to get back there.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you liked the photos. When (or if) I ever get surgery for my arm, I'm hoping I can finally get home and continue with physical therapy there. Quality Home Care has a lot of resources.
DeleteIt's easy to see from the photos of your home why you miss it so much, Jon, compared to your present accommodations. The continuous bleeding is quite worrisome even from reading about it, and surely much worse for you. So hard to believe that it doesn't concern medical professionals as much as it seemingly should.
ReplyDeleteI've had this bleeding since April - - ever since I got the biopsy. I don't know what the heck is going on. I used to have confidence in this facility, but now I'm having many doubts. Sometimes I'm too exhausted to care....
ReplyDeletebut my goal is to go home.