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One of the social workers recently gave me a copy of my medical records. I can access some of them online, but they're not updated since I came to Gainesboro Rehab.
Anyway, I was alarmed when the medical records revealed that I have a malignant neoplasm in my colon. That indicates it can very possibly metastisize and ensure upcoming death.
With all the horrifying medical things that I've gone through the past few years, nothing can deter me. I take every rotten blow in turn and do my very best to deal with them.
What really shocks me is when I realize how tough I am.
(Long ago I was never tough......I was a sissy who pretended to be tough)
We only have two choices in our lives - - ignore everything and cowardly surrender....or fight like hell and never give up.
Anyway, I discovered (with relief) that I had the malignant neoplasm before I had chemo and radiation. That was over two years ago.
So, the medical report that I read was over two years old.
Right now, my problem is due to a lot of damaged skin around my butt due to after effects of radiation (and I had seven weeks of intense radiation).
I know firsthand that radiation side effects can be brutal. Strangely enough I had very few side effects from chemo.
I'm probably boring and self-serving with this medical crap - - but I want you to know what's going on.
I'm also presently concerned about a small lump on my arm, located near where the cancerous wound was (it has healed and stopped bleeding after my radiation treatments last October).
So far, I haven't had physical therapy since Christmas. I had a bout with covid. The serious wound on my left ankle had deepened to the bone - causing agonizing pain. I'm on antibiotics again and the wound is slightly better. My left leg is partially paralyzed.
Some good news
During the past year, I lost an alarmingly amount of weight. This is due to being sick and because I hate hospital food and seldom ate it.
Right now, my average weight SHOULD be 170 or 175. A few years ago it was 180.
When I first came here to Gainesboro, I weighed a horrifying 138 lbs. I was determined to gain weight, so I had food shipments from Walmart. I secretly ate every night (and still do). My weight rose to 145. Yesterday my weight was 151. I'm getting there.
Well, that's my update. If you're confused about my medical history - - I'm confounded by it.
BTW I'm still going to use some reruns on my posts, but I'll also have updates.
Thanks for reading this.
Jon
My latest winter AI images
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I am pleased to hear that you are gradually getting better and that you have gained back some weight - weight gives your body a bit of strength to fight medical issues. I learned that from my mom's health problems.
ReplyDeleteI enjoy your AI photos very much! Take care!
I was upset when I read the medical record that said I had a malignant neoplasm, but was relieved that it was from my old records from three years ago.
DeleteRight now I'm eating a lot to gain weight. So far I gained over 10 lbs.
Life is one struggle after another......it never ends.
You simply never give up. Good to hear of your weight gain.
ReplyDeleteFor some (unknown) reason, I'm very resilient, I just keep going on and on. I'm determined to keep gaining weight.
DeleteHurrah for the weight gain! At least the malignant neoplasm is in the past, some good news. The bleeding stopped in your arm is another piece of good news.
ReplyDeleteThere was a time that my arm bled for months. Since radiation last October, the bleeding has stopped and the wound is healing.
DeleteThank goodness Walmart delivers. I've been eating food every night.
Although I enjoy all your posts- I was waiting, hoping you would give a medical update. I have been worried about you and I check everyday to see if you've updated. Indeed, you are a fighter, and you will not sit idle and just let things happen.. I'm proud of you!! All of your blog friends are here, and will be here.. pushing and praying you along! Hugs and prayers to you Jon. Louise
ReplyDeleteI didn't write updates because I thought my medical condition was grim. Now that I'm gaining weight and in better shape, I'm feeling optimistic. I appreciate your concern about me. Thanks, Louise.
DeleteMuch love and best wishes. Thank you for writing -- I do check every day. ❤️
ReplyDeleteKnowing that you and others care always lifts my spirits. It means a lot. I'll keep writing updates. Thanks, Jean.
DeleteJon,
ReplyDeleteThank you for the medical update on your condition. I along with many (all?) of your longtime followers of your blog postings over the years are very concerned about your health. I can only speak for myself but I hope sometime you will be able to go to your home in the mountains and not spend whatever remaining days you have left in a facility which to me is an awful way to end one's life. I know they're doing everything they can do to help you and keep you alive but still. It's not for me and I will do everything I can do to escape that fate. You mentioned that the radiation has destroyed a lot of tissue. This further confirms that why I have chosen not to have radiation treatments should my prostate cancer retuned confirmed when I get my PET-SCAN this June. My old friend, who I had lunch this week with had the same condition. The scar tissue around his uretha has destroyed his ability to pee naturally. He has to pump his urine out of his bladder. Talk about bad side effects. I do suspect my prostate cancer has returned and possible spread to my bones because of my constant pain. All I want is a date from my doctor urologist is how long I have to live and when it gets down to six months or less, I'm checking out of this world on my on timeline and location. As they say "A time and place of my choosing." I know the location, my bedroom and the time, a sunny day when my bedroom in bathed in natural sunlight. I want Pat with me, I don't want to die alone. I had foreseen this manner of my passing many years ago and it appears to be coming true. At my age (84) I don't want to lower the quality of my life any further than it is now by having to deal with the after effects of radiation just to gain a few more months of life. The way I look at my decision, which I am totally comfortable with now, is that we choose the kind of life we life and I feel so fortunate to now be able to choose the manner of my exit now that Delaware has a right to die law in effect. In the meantime I have all my memories to comfort me and I hear that when we die we take our memories with us. Of course we leave every thing else behind but that's okay. I'll take the memories anytime and also knowing that I will see Bill again and all my dogs. Thank again for sharing Jon.
Ron
This is such a thoughtful and beautiful comment, Ron. I absolutely agree that everyone (with a sound mind) has the right to chose the issues of their lives. I don't want to be trapped in a nursing home and have social workers telling me to do. If I'm able to get around in a wheel chair and walker, they'll probably send me home - - but I need lots of physical therapy.
DeleteLife is one big challenge that we have to struggle with to overcome.
Take care, I often think of you.
I am glad some positives like the weight gain and some Healing is taking place. You've been thru so much already. I do Hope you improve to the point you can make your escape and be able to go back Home where I know you'll enjoy more quality of life. We're rooting for you, you are tough!!! And resilient. And that matters way more than any grim prognosis a doc might give. We often defy their predictions and opinions.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your comment, it's right on target. Thanks!
DeleteI’m so glad to hear your good news. Your fighting spirit is an inspiration. You are a lovely soul, I hold light and hope for you. MaryM
ReplyDelete