Showing posts with label Kindle. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kindle. Show all posts

Friday, October 16, 2015

KINDLE, PUSSIES. HARPO, AND OTHER IRRITANTS



 Back yard in the morning fog


Just as I had initially anticipated, my post entitled Elizabeth Taylor's Pussy and Other Delights rattled a few people.

Let's all step back a moment and consider this rationally. My blog readers (all three of them) consist mostly of my relatives and virtuous Midwest Baptist ladies......(and a few perceptive gay guys who can read between the lines).....

Do you really think I would insult my fans (all four of them) by posting smut? I admittedly have a dirty mind - - and I've done things in the past that would made the Marquis de Sade revolve in his grave - - but I like my blog to remain untarnished. 
Or reasonably untarnished. 
Trust me - if I ever wrote what I really think, my six readers would abandon me. Or is it five?

Are we seeing any humor here?

No, Jon, but keep trying.

I try to select post titles that will generate interest. Boring titles such as Regrets (one of my recent posts) generate no interest whatsoever.  

I would love to have 650,000 followers (like some fortunate bloggers), but it was never meant to be. My only consolation is that the few people who faithfully read my blog have incredibly good taste.

So, what about Harpo?
Well, my face is red - and I don't blush easily. I want to thank Ron (a link to Ron) for pointing out the blunder in my Taylor's Pussy post. 

I had said that Barbara Marx left her husband Harpo to marry Frank Sinatra. 
Barbara Marx was in fact married to Zeppo - not Harpo. I had completely forgotten that it was Zeppo.
Harpo Marx was never divorced.

I love alert readers. It means they're paying attention.

......but if ALL of you start pointing out my errors, I'll consider putting a Hungarian curse on you......

Kindle?
Don't get me started. When it comes to ANYTHING concerning Kindle, I am completely clueless. Completely.
I have been trying for days to transform my published poetry book into a Kindle edition (yes, I corrected all three typos) with absolutely no luck.

And yes, I've read all of the tutorials and other helpful articles - - and they aren't helpful. And I'm starting to get mean and seriously irritated. You can take your PDF, Docx, and HTML files and shove them.

To be perfectly blunt, I know a few blooming idiots who have published Kindle books (I'm serious), so there should be hope for me. 

I know the entire libretti of Wagner's Gotterdammerung in German....... and I've overhauled the engine on a pickup truck. You'd think I could conquer a frickin' Kindle conversion.

Enough said.

Any more complaints, Jon?

Yes. I'm really pissed off at Blogspot Comment Moderation. I enabled it solely to get rid of spammers (they are attracted to me like magnets).
Instead, it has been blocking some of my faithful readers (all three of them).
Sorry about that.
And a Hungarian Pox on spammers. 

I drove into town yesterday and saw the damage to City Hall. The driver (who was being chased by police) crashed directly through the front door. Bullseye! I congratulate him for having perfect aim during a harrowing situation.

It's a chilly October night. Perfect for snuggling up with a hot cup of tea and a book of ghost stories. Supposed to get down to freezing on Saturday night. I'll soon be getting into my Halloween mode, posting scary stuff.

.....as if this wasn't scary enough.....

 Thursday Afternoon

 Despite being a housebound cat for ten years, my eldest feline Scratch now insists on going outdoors.

 Shadow People on the premises.
It's a shadow selfie, me in a cowboy hat. (my ass isn't really that big, the shadow is distorted). 


Some of the trees have already shed all their leaves.