It wasn't until this morning, when I unwittingly glanced in the mirror, that I realized there are some advantages to growing older. I'll never again have to worry about buying a Halloween costume. I'm permanently wearing a mask that would win first prize for Best Spook at any Halloween party.
I initially thought I looked like Lurch from the Addam's Family.
But on second glance I realized that Lurch looked infinitely better.
On to a brighter note: scary stuff.
Halloween is my favorite time of year and I had planned on writing a lot of scary Halloweeny stuff.
As I cowered in bed this morning - reluctant to crawl out from under the covers because of a severe back ache and the fact that the room was colder than a witch's tit - I came to the conclusion that my life here in the wilderness is much scarier than anything Halloween has to offer.
Every day here on Hillbilly Mountain is packed with various degrees of horror that would inspire the most staunch Halloween aficionado to cower and cringe.
The long perilous walk to the mailbox is enough to reduce tough men to tears.
Having heavy boots sucked off your feet by the thick mud and battling 15 foot high weeds is nothing compared to the steep trek back to the house - which saps your breath, increases your heart rate to 300 beats a minute, and renders you semi-conscious by the time you're halfway home.
I won't bother to mention the coyotes that gleefully emit death howls at my back door at 3:00 a.m.
Or the mice that scratch mercilessly in the walls until 5:00 a.m.
Or the 'possums under the house
Or the Unknown Creatures on the roof that makes my should-be-peaceful nights a living hell.
Did I mention the insects?
The only positive thing is that the temperature has suddenly dropped 400 degrees and many of the annoying insects are finally gone.
Yup, boys and girls, last night was below freezing. Today the daytime "high" was 35 degrees (that's Fahrenheit, for those of you in the Hebrides). There were snow showers early this morning.
And this is the coldest house I've ever lived in. If it's 35 degrees outside, it's minus 40 degrees inside.
"Global warming", my shivering ass!
I flatly refuse to put the heat on in October. I (supposedly) live in a mild southern state. If I wanted to put the heat on in October, I would have moved to Iceland.
Is this post getting too long? Tough noogies. I'll stop for a moment to insert these delight photos that I snapped this morning from the back porch. Cloudy, dreary, frosty.
My cat Scratch (also know as Kitzee) was very sick a week ago. She has never had a sick day in twelve years, so I was extremely worried. Her behavior was frighteningly strange.
I was almost ready to call the vet, but decided to wait. In two days she began eating again. In three days she was beginning to act halfway normal.
Now, she is completely normal again and intent on making me delightfully miserable.
This afternoon she kicked Bosco off the bed and slept in his favorite place - so I am assured that she has made a full recovery.
BTW-
the photo of Scratch (Kitzee) at the top of this post was taken when I lived in Texas. She's posing with one of the tiny pumpkins from my drought-stricken garden.
Well, that's enough scary stuff for now.
Just wait 'till Halloween....
