Wednesday, August 16, 2017

IF I HAD A GIRL LIKE YOU



My latest video was far more trouble than it's worth.

I made it late Monday night, during a merciless bout of insomnia, when I had nothing better to do. 

I finished the video around 5:00 a.m. - breathed a big sigh of relief, pressed the "Save" icon, and.....

....watched the entire thing disappear before my astonished eyes. 

I had accidentally pressed "delete".

After I wore out my entire repertoire of curse words and phrases (which is vast), I collapsed into bed - ready for Dreamland.

Being a persistent masochist, I remade the video this evening - despite the fact that I had a zillion more important things to do (I counted them).

Thank you, Microsoft Movie Maker.
Thank you Rudy Vallee.
And thank you, beautiful ladies of the silent screen.

Why the video?
Because it nourishes my craving for the delicious past.

I was born fifty years too late. I belong in another era. I savor the distant ambience of the teens and twenties - - when songs were beautiful, and life seemed sweet..

(life is never exactly sweet of course, but nostalgia renders it that way).

...when men were men, women were women, and there was no bullshit about gender (see some of my previous posts, if you dare).

Since I have a fierce passion for silent films, I chose photos of some of my favorite actresses of that era. It was very difficult to do, because I had to leave a lot of them out.



Cover photo for the video is Dorothy Janis, whom I absolutely love. 
Ironically, she only made five films - before retiring in 1930. She married a musician and lived to be 98.

I fell for Dorothy Janis when I saw her in The Pagan (1929) with Ramon Novarro.

Of course, I had a big crush on Novarro, too, but that's beside the point.....



  Video is best viewed Full Screen

Tuesday, August 8, 2017

NEAR THE GHOST OF SHARON TATE


 I wrote this several years ago on my old blog Lone Star Concerto and decided to post it again here.

It has nothing to do with ghosts - -  but I still think it's fairly interesting and worthy of a "rerun" post, for those who've never read it.



 


 The house on Benedict Canyon in Beverly Hills where
I lived as a young musician. It was located very near
the house where Sharon Tate was murdered.



Everybody has heard about the Sharon Tate murders. If you haven't, look it up and you'll find plenty to read. Here's a quick recap:

On the night of August 8/9, 1969, fledgling actress Sharon Tate was savagely murdered in her rented Beverly Hills house, along with four other people. Tate was twenty-six years old and nine months pregnant. She was due to give birth in two weeks.

Her husband, movie director Roman Polanski, was in London at the time and expected to arrive back in L.A. within a few days. Since Sharon didn't want to be alone during her husband's extended absence, she had invited three friends to stay with her:
Abigail Folger (the coffee heiress), Voytek Frykowski (Folger's lover), and hairdresser Jay Sebring.

A nineteen-year-old boy named Steven Parent was also murdered that night, simply because he happened to be visiting the caretaker of the house, who lived in a guest house on the premises. Steven Parent didn't know Sharon Tate.

The murders were committed by the  hippie cult "family" members of Charles Manson.
To say that the murders caused a mega media frenzy would be a gross understatement. Sharon Tate and Charles Manson became household names and the L.A. news media feasted on the subject for years. The Manson murder trial was undoubtedly the biggest media event in Los Angeles history.



Ill- fated Sharon Tate

So why am I writing this? Because, about a decade after the murders occurred, I lived in a Beverly Hills house that was extremely close to the house where Sharon Tate was murdered.

Sharon Tate and her husband Roman Polanski

I lived on Benedict Canyon Rd. The house where the murders took place was on Cielo Drive, which was only a stone's throw away. Cielo Drive was a narrow road just off of Benedict Canyon, which wound into the nearby hills. The house where Tate and Polanski lived was secretly nestled in the hills. If you didn't know it was there, you'd never notice it.

I knew it was there, of course. I'd even heard  silly rumors about resident ghosts and bad things that happened to people who lived in the vicinity of the murder house.

It might have only been a freak coincidence that I had an auto accident on Benedict Canyon - - directly in front of the cut-off to Cielo Drive and within walking distance to the Tate-Polanski house.
And it happened  on the 9th of August - -  the anniversary of Sharon Tate's death.


The exact spot on Benedict Canyon 
where my accident took place.
The 30 MPH sign is in plain view.



I'm pulling out of my driveway on Benedict Canyon late one afternoon. There's a curve in the road and the view is blocked by large juniper trees. As I slowly emerge I'm immediately hit by a speeding Ferrari. The speed limit on the Benedict Canyon curve is 30 MPH. The Ferrari was going at least 65 MPH. The force of the crash was enough to send my modest Ford spinning. 

Major damage to my car, but miraculously I'm not seriously hurt.
Substantial damage to the Ferrari. The driver gets out. To my surprise, it's an elderly lady with a long cigarette dangling from her Max Factor red lips. Her face-lift was dragged down with a ferocious frown.

Long story short - -
the old buzzard tried to sue me. I had to make an appearance at the Beverly Hills Courthouse. I politely (and timidly) presented my case, then Miz Ferrari presented hers. The judge couldn't decide what to do. After thoughtful consideration he announced that he thought we were both very nice people and he called it a "draw". Nobody won anything. To this day I still maintain that the lady was sailing at a reckless speed.

At the time I was only twenty-one. I was a musician. I wasn't Perry Mason. I probably didn't present my case with enough passion or conviction.

A few months later, Miz Ferrari attempted to sue me again, but her efforts were denied.

In time I put the unpleasant incident in the distant realm of my memories - - but I always had the strange feeling that being near the Sharon Tate murder house had something to do with my accident and bad luck.
Especially since it happened on the anniversary of the murder.
Who knows..........?

The Tate-Polanski murder house on 10050 Cielo Drive was eventually purchased and subsequently torn down. A new mansion presently stands on the spot. The infamous address has also been changed. I happen to know who purchased the property and I know the new address. I think it was wise to expunge the old address and the horrible ghosts of memories.


A side note:
At the time of the Tate murders, Charles Manson and his cronies lived at the abandoned Spahn Movie Ranch in the Simi Hills near Chatsworth.

Years later, I was at the Spahn Movie Ranch, on location, to watch a movie being filmed (it was a gay porn flick). 
All the movie sets had been destroyed in a 1970 wildfire, but the surrounding area was still intriguing enough to be used for "location" shots.

The area is now an historic park.


So much for my adventurous Beverly Hills days.........


The house on Cielo Drive in Beverly Hills where the murders occurred in August, 1969.
It has since been torn down.


my other blog:
http://cabinetofcurioustreasures.blogspot.com  

Sunday, August 6, 2017

THE CASE OF THE MISSING APPENDAGE

 Bruce - - before and.....after.....

Caution:
Church ladies and/or virgins might be offended by the content of this missive.
Now that I have your attention, you may proceed.

I've been focused on this subject for too long lately, but detox takes awhile. I'll eventually get it out of my system.

On my previous post I casually (and, of course, quite innocently) mentioned that Bruce Jenner had his penis removed. 

Sweet Dylan (who is one of the few people left that doesn't want to lynch me) just informed me that Jenner didn't officially have his appendage removed. It's apparently still intact.

Well, you could have knocked me over with an out-of-season pansy.

Bruce Jenner - - who is now officially called Caitlyn and wears outfits that would rival Melania Trump - - was awarded the 2016 Glamour Magazine Woman of the Year Award.

Since ol' Brucie - - I mean Caitlyn - - snagged the Woman Award, I naturally assumed that his male member was gone.

Hell, what do I know? I'm just an innocent country boy.

Question:
Since Caitlyn still has his willy (and, I'm assuming, his balls), isn't it slightly strange (not to mention confusing) that
Glamour would single him out as the best of the ladies?

I mean, shouldn't that award have gone to someone much more deserving - like Rosie O'Donnell.......or Ellen Degenerate?
Ooops, I mean Degeneres.

Things are much too complicated nowadays.

Long ago when I lived in Hollywood life was delightfully simple. There were gays, bi's, and transvestites.

Today, we have to contend with a complex (not to mention astoundingly confusing) network of gender-challenged individuals who have taken the fun out of cross-dressing.

Transgenders
Transexuals
Trannies
Transcontinental Railways....

I don't get it. Perhaps someone in the military could explain it to me and....straighten me out (no sexual implications intended).

The only thing I know for certain is that I still have my appendage.

And the last time I looked it was working perfectly.



 

Saturday, August 5, 2017

FUEL ON THE FIRE





The fastest way to find out who your real Blogger friends are is to mention something controversial on your blog.

Your real friends - even if they disagree with what you said - will politely tolerate it and move on

The fickle, narrow-minded, easily offended haters will blow up like a can of Coke in a hot car and completely freak out.

An Aside:
I've actually had a can of Coke blow up in my car on a broiling summer day when I lived in Texas. I speak from experience. It took weeks to get the sticky mess cleaned up, and years later stickiness still lingers.

I seem to attract hate mongers like a lightning rod. Which is rather unusual for a quiet, unobtrusive, harmless pacifist like myself.
Not to mention charming, endearing, and interesting. 

I just threw that in for fuel on the fire.

A flurry of furious people despised my recent post about transgenders (entitled He She Me We Thee). I didn't delete it. I simply temporarily removed it. 
It will return....

My post inspired two other bloggers to write condescending posts about me on their own blogs - - accentuating how hateful I am.

So what's my reaction?

Finally! They've written something interesting. Congratulations!

One thing for certain:
the haters and the easily offended have absolutely no sense of humor. 

When they see a photo of an unattractive guy in drag (like the photo on my previous post), they don't think it's funny.
They think that I'm a hater and a homophobe. And a Republican.
Holy shit - what could be worse?
Necrophilia??

When I previously mentioned that I didn't think transgenders should serve in the military, I gave a benign tongue-in-cheek example. I said:

"If you were on a secret mission in a submarine off the coast of North Korea, would you really want Bruce Jenner on board?"

I thought it was funny.

They thought it was outrageous.

Heck, I have nothing against Bruce Jenner. I like the guy. I mean, girl.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with him. I mean her. Heck, so what if he had his penis removed and now wears dresses?
I'd be proud to serve with him.
On a submarine, of course.

Despite all of this insane negativity, I fully plan to continue blogging - - and I think this most recent "incident" has actually encouraged me to say what I really think more often. In the past I've been far too polite and congenial.

If you can't handle opinions other than your own, you'd be better off not reading blogs. Or books. Or periodicals. Or watching movies. Or TV shows.

And - just for the record - many of the haters never really leave. I've noticed that several of them continue to silently lurk around (eagerly waiting for another reason to pounce on me).

It's empowering to think I hold that kind of magnetism.

I'm being deliberately facetious.
It makes me smile. 


I'll resume my "regular" blogging soon. I'm certain that one or two of you might continue to visit me.
Well, almost certain...........