Saturday, March 16, 2024

NEVER TOO OLD

 For the past month or so, I've been listening to an enormous amount of music - - mostly on YouTube. It helps me forget my devastating physical pain and alleviates my intense mental depression.

It also resurrects vivid memories of my golden years - - filled with concerts, rehearsals, performances....and teaching (yes, I was chosen as a student piano teacher for Cypress College, but admittedly teaching is not my forte).

Sometimes past memories provide me with the incentive to plod onward.

So, what am I getting at? I selfishly forgot my purpose for writing this post.

I was initially thinking of great pianists who continued to perform into old age.

Arthur Rubinstein (1887- - 1982) retired from the concert stage at age 89. He only stopped because his eyesight was failing.

The other night I watched a concert on YouTube recorded in 1978 - - Vladimir Horowitz (1903-- 1989) performing one of my favorite concertos, the third piano concerto by Rachmaninov (the New York Philharmonic, Zubin Mehta conductor).

I've heard dozens of pianists tackling this extremely difficult concerto over the years, but this 1978 performance by Horowitz is undoubtedly the best. His technique and interpretation are unsurpassed. He was 75 years old.

I've saved the best for last.

Martha Argerich, who is considered one of the greatist pianists in the world today. She is presently 82 and still going strong. There are several of her recent concerts on YouTube. I am absolutely astounded at her strength, virtuosity, and passion. Her piano performances are (arguably) better today than they were fifty years ago. 


Martha Argerich, then and now

Argerich is an Argentine pianist, born in Buenos Aires. Her paternal ancestors were Spanish and her maternal grandparents were Russian Jews. She gave her first public piano concert at age eight. She speaks Spanish, French, Italian, German, and English fluently.

One thing that I only learned recently - - Argerich was diagnosed with malignant melanoma in 1990. In 1995 it metastasized to her lungs, pancreas, liver, brain, and lymph nodes.

She received experimental treatments at the John Wayne Cancer Institute in Santa Monica. To this day she is cancer-free.

I've always adored her and she is a great inspiration.

Age doesn't always have to be an impediment.

With a positive spirit and the grace of God, anything is possible.

Take care, Jon

Friday, March 8, 2024

SILENT SCREAMS




When I was undergoing rigorous physical therapy, one of the therapists asked me "How come you never complain about the pain?" 

"My screams are silent," I answered.

That was absolutely true. Throughout my entire extraordinary life, my physical and mental pain are largely kept within myself.

Lately, I'm tempted to unleash a scream so loud that it would trigger an avalanche in the Rockies.

I didn't want to write another post until I found out more info about my medical issues (I will admit that I'm deteriorating).

Today (Friday) I had a scheduled CT scan in Cookeville, with a followup appt. with my oncologist on Monday.

I was initially supposed to have these appointments in January, but they were cancelled due to snow and ice.

The appointments were rescheduled in February. That's when the (#!××**#!!) transport driver refused to take me because she was afraid that she'd get stuck in my rural driveway.

So, boys and girls, let me tell you what happened today.

My CT scan was scheduled for 1:30. The UCHRA-transport driver was supposed to pick me up between 11:45 and 12:15.

My plan was to be well prepared in case the driver whimped out and refused to trek my driveway

Despite being half-dead (no exaggeration) I single-handedly dragged my heavy wheelchair down the seven front porch steps and sat in it. I figured if the driver refused to come to me - - I damn well will wheel myself down to him (her).

The predicted rain didn't materialize, but it was very cloudy with a chilly wind.

I and my wheelchair waited. And waited. And.....

By 12:30 I was getting worried. Cookeville is far away. By 1:00 I was near hysteria.

By 1:15 I said "To hell with it!"....and some other things that would make Satan blush.

I decided to go back inside.

Dragging a wheelchair up seven steps isn't easy when you have severe edema and a ravaged spine. I almost tumbled over. It was an impossibility. 

I finally tried to go in the back door, but it was even worse than the front porch steps.

I had to go up a treacherous hill where I got stuck. The wheelchair wouldn't budge. I was completely out of breath and both of my slippers came off (I couldn't wear shoes). There was no way I could get into the house.

In absolute desperation I grabbed my cell phone and called the Home Health Care center.

I babbled something about desperately needing help.

My abject humiliation knew no bounds.

Fortunately one of their workers was in my area and he came within minutes. I remembered him from a previous emergency.

 Anyway , he helped me and my wheelchair up the steps.

Just as he was leaving, the transport driver finally showed up. He told me that he'd give the driver hell.

I don't like to instigate rumbles - - but it sounded like a good idea.

Much more to tell, but I'll try to condense (???)

I called the transit office. They were sympathetic, apologetic, etc. I was told that they have unwittingly been switched to using a new system, which doesn't work well and often provides drivers with wrong schedules and late information.

I called the Cookeville Medical Center. They are going to contact UCHRA-transit and try to get things straightened out.

Good luck.

They also scheduled more appointments for me on April 2nd and 4th.......

Excuse me, while I go into another room and scream.

Jon


I'm too tired to check for typos. The photo has nothing to do with this post....

 

Sunday, March 3, 2024

MOMENTS IN PASSING TIME

 



I'm in no mood to write a medical update. All I'll say is that the agony never ends. I'm presently miserable, ravaged with fear, and thoroughly disgusted. My strength and courage is waning quickly.

As a plausible diversion, I'm offering a video that I made last night. It's unduly long, but I doubt if six minutes will be drastically injurious. I lived in rural Tennessee for over nine years, and often roamed over my property with my ancient digital camera.

As a result, I have hundreds of photos sitting in nearly-forgotten  files. I decided to extract some and make a video. It was a relaxing project to make - - and, I think, to watch.

Fleeting memories captured in the illusion of time - - to remember me.

Jon

(please watch the video full screen)


Thursday, February 22, 2024

UNLEASHED WITHOUT RESERVATIONS

 



Do you know how taxing it is for me to think up (clever) titles which will cajole you into reading my posts?

(I can't remember the last time I ever used the word "cajole")

I'm going to unleash another update, in an attempt to purge my multitudinous anxieties.

I'll save the worst for last - - which will be difficult, due to the fact that my worsts are numerous and seemingly endless.

I'm having so much pain in my back and spine that it's nearly intolerable. The pain is accompanied by screaming spasms.

This is all because of the fall I had last month. I fell directly on my back and my spine hit the concrete blocks that I use as steps to the back porch. I've had so many previous spinal injuries that inflicted permanent damage.

Consequently, I'm now hanging on to my walker for dear life.....

.....but I'm used to pain and agony.

I still haven't found anyone to fix the latest broken water pipe. All the helpful people haven't been helpful at all. Plumbers in rural Tennessee are rarer than hen's teeth......or Rachmaninov fans.

The house is infested with mice. I need about a dozen cats.

Or ten pounds of rat poison. It's quicker.

Let's have an enthusiastic drum roll for the latest disaster.

I was supposed to have three doctor appointments this month, and  a CT scan was scheduled for yesterday (Tues. the 20th)

The appointments are in Cookeville (a zillion miles away)....so I had to "book" my rides with a local transport company.

My CT scan appointment yesterday was for 9:30 a.m. This had me extremely worried because I'm not a morning person, and going alone in a wheelchair will be an agonizing humiliation.

So, I got up extremely early (3:00a.m.). It takes me forever to get ready and suppress my anxiety attacks. Making certain that I wouldn't miss my ride, I sat in the living room at 6:00 a.m. (waiting for 8:00 a.m.)

Shortly after 8:00 I got a phone call. It was the driver of my transit vehicle. She bluntly informed me that she wasn't going to pick me up. Since I live in a rural area, she was afraid that she would get stuck in the "soft ground" in my driveway.

I could hardly believe my ears. I was so completely stunned that I was rendered speechless. I finally told her I had an important medical appointment.

She said "Well, you'd better get someone with a truck to take you"

I thought -

Sure, lady. I'll wheel myself out to the highway and flag down a trucker.

She had no mercy. I was left high and dry.

I don't get upset very easily, but this unexpected disaster had me on the verge of hysteria. I grabbed the phone and cancelled all of my appointments.

Everyone I talked to was sympathetic. My Cookeville appointments are rescheduled for March and they will look into the transportation problem.

IRONICALLY

Two hours later, the FedEx truck came and delivered my latest orders right to my front door

No problems with my driveway.

Later that same day, a UPS vehicle came up my driveway and delivered an important package. No problems.

I now know why SOME (not all) of the FedEx drivers didn't deliver my packages. They were afraid they'd get stuck in my driveway.

I'm not an expert when it comes to rural "driveways", but I lived here for over nine years and nobody ever got stuck in my driveway.

I'm sure it could be a problem when there's ice or rain. Several years ago my car got stuck in mud halfway up the driveway during a torrential rain storm.

I have a LOT more to say, but I'll cut it short for now.

BTW

The above photo is my front "yard". The so-called driveway is on the right side of the picture.

I hope the driveway didn't terrify you,  Jon