Moon rising last night
Well, it's not exactly a cry. It's more like an incredibly loud uninhibited shriek of relentless frustration. A primal scream. My scream was so loud that birds fell out of trees two miles away and coyotes hightailed it to Kentucky.
I've been in a very foul mood for days and it ain't pretty.
That's impossible to believe, Jon. How could anyone as sweet, gentle, kind, easy-going, caring, humorous, incredibly likeable, and disarmingly charismatic as you be in a foul mood?
Aw, blow it out your *******!!!!
I've been without water for over a week and my patience is wearing thin. I've already endured 250 snowstorms this winter (slight exaggeration) and the next one is expected by Thursday. It's so friggin' cold in this wilderness shack that I had to pad my knees to keep them from knocking together and if I run the heat constantly my utility bill will be $450,000 (slight exaggeration). My back still hurts so badly from falling on the ice that I can hardly sit, stand, or lay down (no exaggeration).
And yesterday I risked driving into town to get some desperately-needed groceries. When I got home I realized that I forgot to buy milk. There's no way in hell that I'm going to drive for half an hour on narrow, twisting, dangerous mountain roads all the way back to town for a gallon of milk.
There are plenty of cows in the meadow next to my property. I'll damn well get a bucket, climb over the fence, and start milking them.
Did you ever try to get a plumber in a tiny rural hick town? I've been trying for over a week with no luck at all. One never answers the phone. The other never returns my messages. The third never showed up.
What is required to get their attention? Do I have to bribe them with drugs and sex?
Hey, no need to panic. I'm living in Deliverance country......
This doesn't only happen here. I had the same frickin' problem when I lived in the small hick town in west Texas. When my furnace broke during the coldest winter in history, I couldn't get the repairman to come for two weeks. And he lived a mile away.
Mayberry RFD has a much slower-paced lifestyle than the rest of the world.
Why did you ever choose to live in the wilderness anyway, Jon? We warned you that it wouldn't be easy - especially now that you're getting older.
Hey - - one more wise crack about the "older" thing and I'm gonna personally come to your house and make you eat your social security check. I might be old, but I'm twenty years younger than you. Well, okay. Maybe ten.
When it comes to choosing between the two Rural Evils there's no contest. I'd rather be devoured by wolves in the Tennessee mountains than go back to the putrid bowels of Texas. I've always maintained that Texas is the worst place on earth and I've never changed my mind. My experiences there literally destroyed me - mentally, physically, and financially. I'll never look back.
sepiatwo.jpg)
This was my back yard in Texas
during one of the endless dust storms
(I'm still coughing dust out of my lungs)
Not to mention those three unscrupulous realtors who crucified me for four long years and afterwards gleefully drank my blood.
This is the view from my window in Tennessee
My only neighbors are cows and horses. And birds, owls, white-tail deer, coyotes, wolves, 'possums, squirrels. At night I hear gentle winds singing in tall trees. In the morning I watch the haunting, ever-changing mountain fog from my bedroom window.
Despite all the gross inconveniences and pioneer lifestyle - - I'LL GLADLY TAKE IT!
Nicely expressed. So, are you feeling better, Jon?
Hell, no. But I will after I have a few beers. And find a plumber.
My back yard
Texas was beating you down. Being at peace is more important than a few minor inconveniences, it's true. I'm glad the Tennessee landscape appeals to you. When your water is up and running again things will be better yet. The question is how to lure that damn plumber there and get him to fix the problem. I'm plum out of suggestions. Usually money does the trick.
ReplyDeleteI think the plumbers are extremely busy now, with the cold weather and all the broken pipes. When they're busy, they are EXTREMELY independent.
DeleteI hope this Spring you will take some steps to prevent the water problem from happening again next year, like under-pinning if needed and perhaps some pipe insulation under the house. I guess if you hadn’t hurt yourself you could fix the current problem yourself, it seems like you mentioned before that you were somewhat handy with tools. Fixing a burst frozen pipe isn’t exactly rocket science. If you are going to live in a remote mostly rural area you need to be self-sufficient at least to some extent.
ReplyDeleteYou're right - I was EXTREMELY unprepared this winter. I thought it was going to be mild. The heavy snows didn't even begin until late January. My back has been hurting too much to crawl under the house....but I might have to eventually do it myself.
DeleteJon,
ReplyDeleteNow I understand why you moved to the mountains of western Tennessee, peace. You may have said it before but I missed it I understand completely, believe me. Those mountains is what attracted me too also consider retiring (actually the mountains of western North Carolina, same difference, beauty but in Deliverance Country) but as you know, I couldn't contend with the narrow-mindedness and the rampant homophobia. I would probably be killed or run out at best just for existing and not denying who I am, a gay man.
I do hope soon your plumber shows up and the spring thaw sets in and your back heals. And I do envy you for living in a beautiful part of the country. Bill would love those mountains as I would. But I just couldn't live with the hate Jon, couldn't do it.
Ron
I lived in the Missouri Ozarks, which is also rampantly homophobic - - yet it was loaded with hot, eager gay guys. Don't let all those Baptist churches fool you.....
DeleteJon,
DeleteI know there are gays all over the country but there are only certain parts where I can walk down the street with another man and not get the disproving stares or potential of threat of physical violence because of my so called "lifestyle." I'm not one for PDA's but I do allow myself to smile when I'm in the company of someone I like. My experience has been when living in the more conservative areas of the country if you live the "lifestyle" don't ask don't tell they may like to get by. But if you seem like you're enjoying yourself you'll get in trouble from those who don't "approve" of the "lifestyle".I do want to live with that oppression anymore. I have already wasted too much of my life try not to offend those who don't approve of my lifestyle. I don't intend to waste rest of my life seeking their "approval." They're not worth it.
Ron
There are rattlesnakes in the Great Smokies too....
ReplyDeleteYea, but the Tennessee snakes smile before they rattle......
DeleteClaudia is right, Jon. Be careful going under the house.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Geo - that was just what I needed to hear.
DeleteI lived in times when we had to get water from a well we had an outhouse but you had to go out to use it. The different it isn't that cold down here in lower Alabama a 25 minute drive to the Florida line. I would be suffering badly without water as long as you have. A plumber is hard to get to come fix something here, but maybe I have found a guy that is true to his word to come fix the plumbing now. The mechanic are about as bad I have tried now this is two days to get one to come put a battery in my truck. I may have to pull it out and get one myself if he doesn't show today. Take care.
ReplyDeleteMany plumbers and mechanics are too independent nowadays. They are more interested in their own welfare rather than that of their customers.
DeleteHave you not seen the "good looking" son of the farmer who comes to feed the cows and horses yet .... He might have the solution to your water problem. A good investment is a water barrel
ReplyDeleteHaven't seen him yet but I'll keep looking. I need a rescue and a happy ending.....
DeleteYou are holding up better then I would, I'd have kept driving south until things thawed.
ReplyDeleteI'm a masochist. If I ever had a good day I wouldn't be able to function.
ReplyDeleteWish I could send you a plane ticket to Phoenix for a visit ... but we're experiencing lower-than-normal temps. Just in the 60's, but out here that's cause for thermal undies and ski jackets.
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking this chapter of your life should be titled, "True Grit" - but I never much cared for John Wayne.
Even the Texas-lover in me has to agree, your present surroundings are infinitely more appealing than Texas! Please don't go losing faith!
Phoenix sounds like Los Angeles. Everybody puts on their ski jackets when the temp drops to 65.
DeleteI don't like John Wayne, either. I met him twice and wasn't impressed either time.