I've noticed that the current Blogger trend is to have weekly "theme" days, such as Flashback Friday or Sermonette Sunday. This inspires a sense of unification in the blogging community and allows bloggers to have something specific to write about.
Since I (unfortunately) don't identify with most of these saccharine blogosphere niceties, it seems only reasonable that I should incorporate specific days into my blog which reflect my own circumstances and personality.
Such as
Manic Depressive Monday
Unbearably Worrisome Wednesday
Frantic Anxiety-Ridden Friday
and
Suicidal Sunday.
Since my current blog readership is waning drastically, I figured I'd begin by incorporating Psychotic Saturday - just to attract readers and enchant them with the possibility of positive vibes.
Jon, you're infinitely intriguing and intolerably talented. You're presently living in the alarmingly delightful beauty of the Tennessee wilderness. You have two cats who adore you......and probably three or four blog readers who tolerate you.
What more could you possibly ask for?
You should celebrate your charmed existence by immersing your blog with all the marvelous blessings that are bestowed upon you.
Open up your heart and tell us how you're feeling right now.
Well, I'm feeling slightly warmer now that my furnace is finally fixed. Even though the repair costs nearly depleted my meager savings.
Which means I'll be eating less and worrying more.
Despite the fixed furnace - - the clothes dryer still doesn't work. The microwave is broken. I'm having plumbing problems. And about three dozen other problems that I won't bother to mention.
The squirrels and 'possums are still infiltrating the roof and crawlspace of the house - - ripping everything to shreds and greatly contributing to my
unrelenting insomnia.
My brand new cell phone is completely worthless. I can make calls - but can't text!
Every time I try to text I get a No Network Coverage message.
Go figure.
I've saved the best for last.
My car won't start.
I won't reveal the multitudinous details - it would be too long and painful. But the feeling of being isolated in the wilderness with no mode of transportation or escape is slightly unnerving.
Especially at 3:00 a.m. when the wolves howl.
More about this later.
On the bright side,
I had initially planned on doing a spontaneous, free-style interpretative Irish jig in honor of St. Patrick's Day.
But then I realized that I'm not Irish....
......and with my high blood pressure, bad back, tricky knee, sporadic vertigo, irregular heart palpitations, and monumental panic attacks .....doing spontaneous jigs of any nationality might not be a good idea.
But, just for the hell of it, I'll wear something green on St. Patrick's Day - which ironically falls on Suicidal Sunday.
Remember, your cats love you and need you.
ReplyDeleteSaccharine? Ha! Of course, you're right … they could definitely become a crutch. Aside from your delightful alliteration, I'm concerned. If wonder if, among your neighbors, there isn't an amateur or wannabe mechanic? Does Nancy live near enough to chauffeur you to town and back once in a while? Sorry to say this, but a garage apartment in the city is sounding real attractive to this reader/friend. I'll forgive you not doing a jig for my birthday, but appreciate your wearing a bit of green. Happy St. Paddy's Day!
ReplyDeleteI am trying hard to think of something encouraging to say to you Jon. Mostly, I want to comment on “Suicide Sunday” which I am hoping is is in no way a cry for help but just an expression of your current frustration. I wish I lived closer, I could come over and make you laugh and see the absurdity of life. This is all temporary and it is not our home (at least that is what I believe). ♥️ Susan
ReplyDeleteDear Jon, I'm happy to report that I retrieved my profile pic today but had to go psychotic to do it --and then it wasn't retroactive. However, this is a new holiday and I plan to be a more technologically effective psychotic as I get used to it. When I am crazier than Google, I shall outwit them! My favorite St.Patrick's Day was on the 4th floor of Mercy Hospital, 2006. I was recovering from heart surgery and gazed out the window, down at an elementary school where all the kids were parading their green-ness --green wigs, jumpers, capes, shirts, crazy hats and just having a great green time. The custodian entered my room and I grabbed him. "Look out the window", I said,"and watch those colorful kids with me." He did, and I hope it cheered him as much as it did me. Perhaps needless to say, I'm moved by your post. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteOk, now I can't access your blog from my blogsite. Got here by googling you via search. Who knows what will go snafu next?
ReplyDeleteSt Pat's Day... well, I'm not Irish so I'll stick with a red sweatshirt. Never heard of Suicidal Sunday.... is it true or fiction?
ReplyDeleteYour whole first paragraph had me laughing. Will there be a fanciful fart friday?????? But dont change your blog to much....its why I enjoy you!
ReplyDeleteOh damn! The car! :(
ReplyDeleteThat's really the icing on the cake.
*hugs*
Isn't that just the way things go ... one problem leads to another. My relatively new stove (6 years ) has yet another problem. I can get the part but have to order it from Mongolia. Well, it might as well be from Mongolia ... lol. Sorry about the darn car on top of everything else.
ReplyDeleteThe car. I swear some cars have personalities. Maybe this one has been displaying psychotic tendencies for a while? I had to laugh at the post but I hope things improve. Mellow Monday perhaps, just for a change? I hope so. Hugs.
ReplyDeletehappy st. patricks day.
ReplyDelete