You're probably wondering why some of my recent blog posts have been reruns (such as Tango and The Two That Got Away). I've done that specifically for my new readers.
Many (many) of my long-time readers have mysteriously vanished. I probably bored them to death (but I think the real reason is that the Russians had something to do with it). 😁😀
Anyway, if I didn't have new visitors to my blog, I'd most likely be going solo. In a nosedive. I figured some of my older posts would be interesting. Or at least semi-interesting.
Face to face?
Last night, just at twilight, I went out on the back porch and came face to face with a white-tail deer. He (she?) was beautiful. I really wanted to take a photo but it was getting dark, and I knew that if I used a camera flash it would scare him (her?). So we just gazed at each other for awhile and then the deer wandered off into the forest.
When I first moved here (over five years ago) there were lots of deer roaming around, and wild turkeys, and other intriguing creatures of nature.
Unfortunately, because of an (extremely) annoying increase of hunters and loggers, the animals tend to remain hidden in the woods.
Hunting is in direct contrast to my pacifistic nature. I would rather die myself than kill any of the incredible creatures of the forest.
When I was fourteen years old - for reasons that are still inexplicable to me - I shot and killed a beautiful blackbird. Afterwards, I felt so guilt-ridden that I cried - and vowed I'd never kill another bird or animal as long as I lived. So far, I've kept that promise.
So, what happened to the Big Snow (capitalized for emphasis) that was suppose to arrive today? It fizzled out, leaving us with sporadic showers of freezing rain. And mud. But sunshine keeps peaking through the clouds.
March will arrive soon.
And spring.
And Easter bunnies.
I keep getting these horrifying aura (ocular) migraines. Where my vision is completely obscured with flashing lights, zigzag lines, and blind spots. My mother used to get them frequently.
Why do I get them? I dunno.
I attribute it to stress. Changes in the weather. Too much time gazing at the computer screen. I got one last night while I was working at the computer.
I'm always stressed. I fear fear, and the fear of fear overwhelms me.
Ponder that for awhile. It's profound.
So....last night - after the white-tail deer wandered away, I went out on the front porch and took some photos of the twilight landscape.
That white speck above the trees is the moon
All of these photos look very similar, but - trust me - they're all different ones.
I hate to write boring, worthless blog posts but seem to be doing it more frequently.
Ever since I fixed my furnace, my heating bill has quadrupled. Ouch!!!
Well, at least I'm warm.
I haven't had a television since I moved to TN, but I get live-stream for most channels on the computer. I recently started getting TCM (Turner Classic Movies) again - which I missed immensely.
Yesterday I watched Cat on a Hot Tin Roof and East of Eden.
I'm in heaven.
Love the blue and gold in your photos. Reminds me of Van Gogh's Starry Night.
ReplyDeleteStarry Night has always been one of my favorite Van Gogh paintings. Thanks!
DeleteExperiencing those face-to-face moments with the deer sounds exquisite. I'm so pleased to hear of your 'no-kill' feelings about these sweet animals. Sure, I know all the hunters' rationale (excuses), but I wouldn't want to cohabitate with one! (*smile*)
ReplyDeleteStalking and killing things makes some men feel macho. Call me a sissy, but I've never had a burning desire to prove my masculinity.
DeleteKilling animals is, of course, a nec3essary evil to procure food, but I'd rather not know the details. I would have made a lousy pioneer...
I've never killed an animal either, except when I hit a cat, which just about did me in. My late husband went hunting once. He shot a deer, and then told his brother-in-law that he would trade him the gun for his camera since that's the only way he would ever shoot an animal again. What do you fear the most? How do you best manage your fear? It seems like writing, nature and films help you. And being warm!! :)
ReplyDeleteI definitely agree that I'd rather shoot wildlife with a camera.
DeleteAt this point in my life, most of my fears center around my health issues. And my active imagination expands the dangers of living alone in the wilderness. For example, if I get a migraine I'll inevitably also get a panic attack and imagine that I'm going to die before I can get help.
I simply calm my fears with meditation....or trying to occupy my inventive mind with other things.
When I was young, I used to get extremely severe panic attacks from all the stress of living with my father's abuse and violence. It took mt a very long time to overcome those problems. The things that we suffer through childhood and adolescence seem to haunt us as adults...
Hope this makes some sense.
Those pics are stunning!
ReplyDeleteI had no idea how awful one of those aura migraines can be until I had one after my cataract surgery! Light bothers me and sometimes screen time. When I start noticing little flashes I quit whatever I am doing, get my sunglasses on, and close the blinds, So far I have averted getting another one. I can't imagine having them all the time like that!! I'll never forget the one I had. Closing your eyes doesn't help. Nothing does. My sympathies, Jon!!
Those aura migraines can be extremely scary - I panic every time I get one. And you're right - - closing your eyes does nothing to help. It is possible to avert them if you catch it early enough.
DeleteMigraines are baffling because there are so many things that can trigger them. Your cataract surgery certainly could have something to do with it.
I had surgery on both my eyes for torn retinas. I got migraines before that, but they seemed to increase afterwards.
Jon I am glad that you continue to blog. I don't blog myself, but reading others takes me away from my own thoughts and that's a good thing! I feel alone a lot of times even when around others, (crazy, huh?) so I can understand how you must feel.
ReplyDeleteNo snow in this part of Tennessee either- none ALL WINTER! But more heavy rains are forecasted for next week... hooray. Sorry for rambling.. hope you have a awesome day.
Louise, I have no doubt that one of the reasons I blog is because I live alone. It's a way of unleashing my feelings...and confirming my existence.
DeleteIt snowed here only once this winter and it only lasted about two days. I have to drive to town next week and rain is predicted for the entire week. I'm going to try to go on Monday.
Great Evening Sky! I did not know your blog posts were "recycled" ( is that the right word?) Re-posted, Re-gifted, Re-written, whatever.... I have been enjoying them.
ReplyDeleteI usually only link back to a previous post if I make a reference. Otherwise, I basically blog for myself so when I get old and forget what I have done, I will have a record for my failing brain. Others are welcome to read along...
Oh! Micro Dosing Psilocybin mushrooms might cure your headaches. If they are REALLY bad. (The KEY is MICRO dosing... Otherwise you get a colorful "trip" you might not have been expecting....So I have read.) I would never promote any natural homeopathy quackery without a Doctor's Permission... But the Government feels very strongly about protecting us from ourselves and thus, has decided using mushrooms to cure headaches is illegal. Use at your Own risk, I guess....
Every once in awhile I recycle one of my older blog posts, solely for newer readers who haven't seen them. I initially began blogging solely for myself.....but now (unfortunately) I sometimes find myself editing my thoughts so I won't offend someone. People can be infuriatingly sensitive at times.
DeleteI would be very hesitant to try mushroom therapy for my migraines. The effect of them would probably increase my anxiety. Fortunately my migraines usually don't last very long.
Well Jon, I guess you've hit on some reasons I keep coming back here. I too get migraines --not ocular specifically, although there is eye socket pain-- when the air pressure bottoms out before strong winds. Norma calls me "Barometer Head". Well, I always wanted a super power. It's best one I could afford. When people find out I, Geo., am the secret identity of the Mighty Barometer Head, they go "Huh?".
ReplyDeleteAs for fearing fear, I do that too. Over the past 12 years of intermittent psychotherapy I learned to call it 'Anticipatory Anxiety'. When it kicks me too hard --panic attacks-- to where I only shop where the urinals are well-marked, I go see somebody about it. New calming techniques are being discovered all the time. But mainly I wanted to compliment your photos --they have an intrigue and mysterium in them-- which are beautiful, calming and life-affirming. Please excuse all the personal exposition in my comment --I don't wish to seem self indulgent-- but would recommend finding Father Ray Kelly on Britain's Got Talent --Youtube, REM song. Helps me.
Geo, I have lifelong experience with panic attacks and fearing fear. I hate to play the Blame Game, but living (existing) with the continuous chaos of my father's violence nearly destroyed me - and was the initial cause of fear and panic. It has lessened now that I'm older, but it never completely goes away. I've learned to control my rampantly active imagination but it isn't easy.
DeleteMany things have triggered my migraines, and the bouncing barometer is one of them. My mom used to get migraines when the barometer changed.
By the way, you never seem "self indulgent". I thoroughly enjoy hearing everything you have to offer.
I'll look for Father Ray Kelly on YouTube.......and I'm glad my photos have a calming effect.
Jon as a relative newcomer to your blog, these posts are new to me. I too hope you continue to blog as I enjoy your posts and have no plans to stop reading. Great twilight photos...sorry this is rushed but movie is resuming now after we paised it for a hot chocolate break.
ReplyDeleteBlogging has been a habit with me and now seems to be an addiction. I think I mostly blog to convince myself that I'm still alive. I'm always delighted when others come along for the ride.
DeleteI'm always ready for a hot chocolate break!
as much as I too enjoy blogging, I find that it's necessary for me to step back and remember there are other things to do that are often neglected. That said, blogging is my only form of social media outreach, other than calling, writing or emailing friends (yes, I still write letters, cards and notes to be mailed :-) I plan to keep on blogging and reading blogs for quite awhile to come and hope you will be blogging, Jon. And, the hot chocolate was very good while we watched an spisode of Midsomer Murders.
DeleteToo much staring at a computer screen is not good for any of us. I would bank on it being the problem you have with the eyes. I am envious of your nearness to wild animals.... it would make me so happy if I had a deer or two in the back garden.
ReplyDeleteValerie, staring at the computer screen seems to be bothering my eyes more and more. It's always a good idea to rest our eyes and get away from the strain.
DeleteEncountering the deer really made my day. It was a pleasure to see it, and I wish I could have taken a photo. Well, maybe next time!
I'm sorry to hear that you have such horrible migraines. Anyone who has never had one can't even imagine how horrible they are. I used to have them, no auras, but any light at all was painful, sound made me sicker, and any scents or odors would make me horribly nauseated. I don't know if mine were hormonal or caused by Graves Thyroid disease. The migraines stopped after my Graves disease was treated with radioactive iodine to kill off part of my thyroid. After that, the migraines stopped, but even remembering them now I can almost feel the horrible sickness again. Need to stop remembering them immediately.
ReplyDeleteIt's great that you are able to watch TCM's movies now. Cat on a Hot Tin Roof and East of Eden. They don't make them like that anymore, movies or actors.
The colors in your photographs today were great. Loved the tiny moon above the trees. Your photographs really show how isolated and in the woods you are.
It's amazing that your migraines stopped after you had treatments to kill off part of your thyroid. I certainly hope they don't return.
DeleteMigraines are very strange and tricky, because they can be triggered by so many different things. Mine have been triggered by stress, eyestrain, lack of sleep, changes in the weather, and even hot baths. Anyone who gets them knows how frightening they can be.
I love old movies - when Hollywood was truly golden. You're right - they don't make them like that anymore.
The best part of living in the wilderness is that I don't have to go far to take interesting photos.
Aye, "fear of fear" is a big one.
ReplyDeleteFear of fear can definitely be a debilitating enemy.
DeleteThinking of you Jon, reading your blog regularly.Most people I know would love life :house in the Bush. I never killed anything in my life either but if I could possums better watch me. Saffron from Australia
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment. It's good to know that you still visit my blog!
DeletePossums look kind of cute and innocent, but they can be extremely destructive. They keep getting in my garage and under the house.