Tuesday, February 4, 2020
FALLEN ANGELS
I've made over fifty videos (hopelessly amateur endeavors). Out of all of them, this one is my favorite - partly because I love Angelo Badalamenti's music, and mostly because it touches my heart.
There's no secret message here. It's simply a lament. A remembrance of the fallen, the lost, the forgotten. Those faded ghosts who linger in the purgatory of distant time, crying for a validation that was never granted.
I'm thinking of the fallen angels I knew long ago during my reckless years in L.A. and Hollywood.
They pass in the shadows of my memory like unanswered prayers: troubled souls who abandoned the sweet light of innocence in favor of the toxic world of eternal midnight.
The hustlers and druggies, booze hounds, drifters, pimps, prostitutes - the hopelessly lost, desperately lonely, inevitably abandoned.
I was one of the fallen: in the recklessness of youth when I was immersed in the dangerously destructive realms of escape from myself.
And now, a thousand years later, when the heavy burden of a chaotic life has finally collapsed and crushed me -
sapping every semblance of redemption....
.....I'm left with fragmented pieces of an unending puzzle and the sobering fact that escape is elusive, and no solace exists in the taunting illusion of heavenly realms.
Don't try to read too much into this. It's not intended to make sense.....merely some random thoughts on a restless winter night....
Note: I've posted this video before, but I'm rehashing it because I'm in a plaintive mood. Video is best viewed full-screen
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The opening image reminds me of the Haserot angel: https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/the-haserot-angel-cleveland-ohio
ReplyDeleteI have a few friends from the past who are fallen angels. I think about them from time to time and am sorry that we were out of touch when their lives ended.
I never heard of the Haserot angel, I appreciate the link. It's a fascinating story. She's beautiful - but very unnerving, especially with the extinguished torch.
DeleteI've known more fallen angels than I care to remember. So many had unhappy endings...
I remember this video! Despite its underlying despair, I really enjoyed it.
ReplyDeleteTonight's take-away? I'm taken by your phrase, "... fragmented pieces of an unending puzzle."
Myra, I think that phrase sums up my life....perhaps all our lives. The older I get, the less I understand.
DeleteI had always wanted to make a video using this music - and the subject of fallen angels seemed appropriate.
OK Jon, I won't read too much into this post and it's OK to do a rant if it makes you feel better. Random thoughts are many of my best ones.
ReplyDeleteI once had a music teacher who said "Don't think too much - just DO it."
DeleteRandom thoughts are definitely the best mode of expression. Thanks!
That music is excruciatingly beautiful. Minutes 1:24 to 1:44 were especially gorgeous, in my humble opinion. 3:06 to 3:40 as well. It's a wonderful video!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Margaret - this music really tears at my soul. It was originally featured in a movie called "Wild at Heart" (I think Laura Dern was in it). Later it was used in a documentary about the Donner Party which was on PBS.
DeleteI loved it so much that I felt compelled to make a video.
Beautifully gentle visual treatment of Angelo Badalamenti (1st name aptly given)--a celebration with tragic undercurrents. It presents Life as a gift, with sadness and triumph --a gift we can't help taking personally. Thanks.
ReplyDelete"A celebration with tragic undercurrents" is an appropriate way to describe it. Badalamenti's music touched me so deepy that I wanted to use it in a video. I initially had no idea what "theme" to utilize, but the fallen from heavenly realms seemed appropriate.
DeleteAnd it's a subject with which I'm unnervingly familiar....
Hopelessly amateur endeavours? ... I wish you'd give over, Jon. To my eyes it is very much not amateurish. I loved it.
ReplyDeleteValerie, much to my astonishment, my haphazard video endeavors always manage to fall into place. Is it talent - - or merely blind luck? I don't know, but I'm truly glad you enjoyed it.
DeleteI remember this video. It always brings me back to living on the street after high school. All the lost souls who wandered the night. I was one. We all had nick names. They called me The Mad Hugger or Sunshine. I believed we were all special. Broke my heart. Still does.
ReplyDeleteOur memories of those reckless nights seem to be very similar. The anonymity, the danger.... I was usually known as Maestro. Some people called me Blomdie - which I DESPISED.
DeleteThere's no "blind luck" about it, cowboy. It's talent, pure and simple. I remember this video from the last time you posted it, and it's as heart-wrenching now as it was then. And brilliant. Definitely brilliant.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Susan - this is one of my favorites, for many reasons. I really love the music. Sadly, many of the fallen angels I knew never survived.
DeleteI laughed at your reply to my comment on your blog - when you said your father would never be at the library. I can definitely relate to that!!!