I removed my previous post, Encounter With a Mountain Lion, simply because I thought it was too personal and, partly, too depressing.
Most blog readers want to hear about uplifting things, not gut-wrenching pathos.
I tend to disagree. I much prefer to reveal things about my inner self and stories about my past. I'm an interesting person (a matter of opinion....*smile*) and had a helleva unique and colorful life. Why shouldn't I share it?
Many bloggers hate to share personal things and prefer to write about their blooming begonias.
I don't give a rat's ass about your blooming begonias. I want to hear about the secret torrid affair you're having with one of your neighbors.
Or the fact that you're considering poisoning your husband.
Confess all and you'll have my heart.
Yesterday, I heroically forced (and I mean FORCED) myself to drive to town. I haven't been shopping in two months, and I desperately needed things that I can't order online.
It was an extremely rare day with NO RAIN, so I took advantage of it.
It is no exaggeration when I say that it rains nearly every day here in Tennessee. If we get two sunny days a month, it's a miracle.
Despite the grim fact that my car is falling apart, and - physically - I'm more than half-dead, I plied myself with homemade wine - -which greatly softened the harsh ordeal.
Despite the outrageous increase in the price of groceries, I got many luxuries that I haven't had in a long time. Milk, orange juice, eggs, bread, hamburger patties, cheese, ice cream, fried chicken, cold cuts for sandwiches. A big chocolate cake that was on sale.
The very worst part is arriving at home and having to carry all the groceries up a rugged hill, through mud and dangerous thorn bushes, to my back porch. It usually takes many trips.
I always bring in the perishables first. I use a lot of eggs, so I bought thirty of them (eighteen in one carton and a dozen in another).
When I got into the kitchen I dropped them on the floor and at least ten of them broke.
And
drumroll here for dramatic effect
as I made my way through the thorn bushes, my shirt got ripped...and one thorn branch hit me in the face and cut my left eyelid. It was dangerously close to getting my eyeball.
I'm getting too old and feeble to endure this Jungle Jim wilderness crap. If I ever revealed all the major problems I have here you would be stunned into oblivion. I think I've already lost half my mind, and I've more than once considered suicide. No lie.
Well, other than all the problems, it's just a typical day in July.
Heck, if I get drunk enough, I might consider reposting my mountain lion story.
Cheers, Jon
Sorry, I don't have any photos or visual enhancements for this post.
But it doesn't matter. I'm fascinating without them.
My mom used to Threaten us with DEATH if we broke her eggs. To her, Eggs were more precious than GOLD! Let alone her offspring. Breaking ten out of the thirty would have been a one way ticket to hell! With her as the Boatman!
ReplyDeleteUgh! I hate thorns, Ripping clothes and eyelids. Usually they just get my legs because I always find myself wearing shorts into brier patches for some reason. I never have any reason to hunt berries or walk through the woods when I have my teflon pants on. Only when I have the high and tight shorts. ( just kidding! I don't find bun huggers fashionable.) I missed the opportunity to read the mountain lion story. so if you get to post it again, I will try to tune in. Work really cuts into my blog time and reading. ( stupid work!) Ah well... gotta eat, right?
I would have infuriated you mother with my mistreatment of egg. Even though it was unintentional mistreatment.
DeleteIt seems like 85 per cent of the monster bushes on my property have dangerous thorns. This makes it nearly impossible to cut them. I need to wear of suit of armor.
I meant to say " your mother"
DeleteFor what it's worth, I don't much care for blooming begonias either. (B-O-R-I-N-G!) There's nothing like Good Food (forbidden fruit) to take the edge off. But man, those thorns sound frightening -- can one order napalm on-line? Were you able to salvage any of the eggs for a huge omelet?
ReplyDeleteIf it lessens the sting any ... Day before yesterday I was trying to carry in more bags (than I should) when the bottom of a brown paper bag gave way. Picture a brand-new bottle of Kamora (coffee liquor) smashed to SMITHEREENS all across the kitchen -- floors, cabinets, my jeans and shoes. Tiny pieces of sticky glass even made it as far as the dining room. Clean-up wasn't fast and I've cuts on most of my fingers -- but at least neither of the girls were cut, thank goodness. Better days are coming.
PS - I hope you will republish the mountain lion story!
I was really upset over the broken eggs, but managed to save about twenty of them. The thought of driving a zillion miles back to the store to get more eggs would be beyond agonizing.
DeleteI couldn't imagine have a bottle of Kamora smashed on the kitchen floor. What a nightmare to clean up!
I'll consider reposting the mountain lion tale - although the violence my mother endured is extremely disconcerting...
I agree - although when I originally began my blog, I was strictly posting educational type stuff. The problem was a) I was basically posting info that you could find on a million different Wicca sites, and b) readers wanted a lot more "personal' stuff that I honestly was not comfortable with! And there are a lot of things I still refuse to talk about, but I have gotten much better about it.
ReplyDeleteI like to read educational posts on blogs. I especially enjoy your Wicca information, because I know so little about it. I also love your information on cats.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteOH please....don't post pictures of begonias or pictures of you canning peaches. I avoid
ReplyDeletethose blogs like the plague. They ARE the plague! LOL! I want the real stuff. Flowers are nice now and then...but whole blogs. Nope. Thank you for your honestly, grit and humor. Yes, you are very interesting and tell great stories. What a life!
I really enjoyed your Mountain Lion Story! In fact, I read it several times. By the way,
I recently purchased your two poetry books and immensely enjoyed them. Left reviews on Amazon for you. Sorry to hear about the broken eggs and torn shirt. Thankfully you didn't end up with a corneal abrasion. Those are miserable. Take care of yourself. More stories....please!
Paranormal John
John, my reply to your comment was accidentally deleted!!!! I'll try to write it again.
DeleteJohn, thank you so much for purchasing my poetry books and leaving such positive reviews. I'm truly flattered. I wrote most of the poems in "Love Letters to Ghosts" when I was quite young and unabashedly sentimental (heck, I'm still sentimental).
DeleteThe poetry for children was written much more recently (probably around 2015, I think??) I had a lot of fun writing these poems. I also chose all of the illustrations, which was a rather daunting task.
Hopefully some day I'll finish my memoirs. Anyway, thank you for your enthusiasm about my writing. It's an inspiration.
Jon, I've had stupid problems with this stupid computer for the last week so I missed your mountain lion tale. Please repost, love all your stories. Cheryle B.
ReplyDeleteCheryle, sorry to hear about your computer woes. I've been having trouble with my eight-year-old laptop and it's frustrating. I'll repost the mountain lion story later today (Monday).
DeleteDrat Jon, I don't have any blooming begonias to post about, just stories from travels, things that strike my curiosity, some family pics, now and then rants and whatever catches my attention but NO politics or religion. Everyone has their own agenda and that's OK but don't expect me to agree or comment and fairly soon not to re-visit. It's true there are some (many) bloggers who post about their gardens, birds, and family far too often. Time-wise I don't comment on every one, at best, weekly is sufficient for me.
ReplyDeleteYou are more honest in so many of your postings and admittedly that is hard for many to do. I suspect there is a hesitation in revealing too much online. It's why when we started blogging years ago, we adopted aliases of Beatrice & Grenville (names of Boyds Bears characters and we have a few of these figurines). We were unsure of what blogging was about and it became a way to document daily life on the VA Eastern Shore with the house renovations, yard work, local events. And, it was fun posting because in a town of 500 folks, there wasn't a lot going on most of (all) of the time.
Keep on posting, my friend, and we faithful readers will keep on returning. Your life adventures are more then most of us will ever experience.
I was mostly being sarcastic when I mentioned begonias. When blogging, I agree that it's best to keep away from certain subjects. I have lost MANY (and I mean MANY) of my readers because of my political posts. Most people don't want to hear opinions that differ from their own. It's futile to think you can change their minds.
DeleteWhen I first began blogging (looong ago) I wanted to remain completely anonymous. I didn't even reveal my first name. Things have certainly changed since then. Lately I've been revealing too much - but it's part of my nature. I actually enjoy writing about my past adventures. Hopefully they are interesting (?) to read. Many thanks for tolerating me.