Late Monday night.....actually 2:00 a.m. Tuesday morning.....I was rudely awakened from my hospital bed and told that I'm being transferred to Signature Health Care in Jamestown.
I nearly died from the shock - - and I fervently wish I did.
I was in Signature for over three months in 2023. Prison in Pakistan would be more merciful, but it's too late. I had no choice.
It was 18 degrees (Fahrenheit) with light snow. The journey takes over an hour - - in an ancient ambulance that leaps ruthlessly over bumps, causing excruciating pain in my butt, spine, and legs.
I was in tears by the time we got there. No lie.
I didn't get a minute of sleep. All day Tuesday was filled with preliminaries, meetings with the supervisors, getting tests, answering hundreds of questions. My mind was so muddled that I hardly knew my name.....or gender.
Most of the staff remembered me fondly. That's because I'm polite, complacient, congenial (all the things that get you nowhere in life).
They have all my current information from Cookeville - - meds, wound care info. I'm now on a low sodium diet instead no sodium. My meals are more palatable.
Fortunately my cell phone works. I managed to call the water department and had the main meter shut off on my property. These months can be brutally cold - - causing frozen pipes. I don't want to deal with floods.
Several years ago a frozen pipe caused a flood and presented me with a $200 water bill (my average bill is $30).
Enough of this. I'm rambling. I'm tired.
I'm so completely mentally and physically exhausted that I no longer care about anything. I'm completely trapped. Lost control of my life (or the joke that's left of it).
I'm tired of updates, feigning optimism, hoping against hope, pretending rainbows and unicorns are waiting on the horizon.
Signature is very reluctant to release their prisoners. I might be here for months.....if I survive...
...or if I want to survive.....
My only solice left is listening music on YouTube. Opera, concerts, ballets....or maybe King Crimson.
I recently watched the New Year's Day concert from Vienna. The Vienna Philharmonic - - an annual tradition for decades. Riccardo Muti conducted. He's now 83 and still superb.
These are the only things left that keep me...alive?....
Jon, possibly alive
(for a request)
Signature Health Care
208 N. Duncan St.
Jamestown, TN 38556
Jon Varga RM 601
A suggestion for You Tube: 2cellos. They're fabulous!
ReplyDeleteI checked them out. Very talented and extremely soothing music.
DeleteIronically, the cello was my second instrument in college - - and I was horrible!!
I find that hard to believe. Your piano playing is exquisite.
Delete❤️❤️
DeleteThis is as down as you've ever expressed. I'm so sorry for your suffering.
ReplyDeleteI'm always down but usually try to restrain my true feelings. Right now I'm just exhausted.
DeleteWhat fresh hell is this? I'm lost for words....and that's quite unusual for me. I hope things go better than the last round. This just sucks. It was wise to call the water department and have that taken care of. The last thing you need is a flood and an exorbitant water bill. Did they ever figure out where these mysterious fever spikes were coming from? I'm not going to spout butterflies and rainbows...being an RN working in ICU and hospice care...I know the realities. I just hope Signature Health Care gets their shit together this time. I'm certainly thinking of you, Jon
ReplyDeleteParanormal John
I am just completely exhausted and literally dragging myself around. I can't handle any more.
DeleteI never heard any more about the mysterious fevers - - but I haven't had any recently. My blood pressure has been very good, so they stopped the BP meds. Bed sores are healing. A few positives.
Thanks, John
You were off on a middle of the night adventure in very cold weather--goodness! Did they tell you why they wanted you transferred? Are you actually more stable and it is for rehab and healing? Sounds like they asked you a ton of more questions so maybe that is good. Let us know how you are doing. It is no surprise you are exhausted to the bone!
ReplyDeleteThey had to get the nearest ambulance available, and 2:00 am was it. It was shockingly cold outside, after the warm hospital bed.
DeleteSignature is for rehab and healing and they have lots of info. about me. I'll just keep dragging myself along and see what happens...
Transfer to rehab means you are better than you were, for sure! That is good news. And it sounds like there are staff there who remember you and will be helpful.
DeleteI sent a note. I'm sure they will forward it. Glad to hear some good news...even if the move was quite out of the ordinary--lol! :)
Nothing like classic music to soothe the soul. Hang in their Jon!!! I swear, this is like a never-ending nightmare. Just why did they suddenly move you like that so quickly? I hope they gave you an explanation. It's no fun and rather shitty I surmise, so who can blame you for your outlook. But I and we all hope the best for you.
ReplyDeleteClassical music has always soothed my soul and very often kept my sanity. Opera is my greatest passion.
DeleteI think hospitals want to get rid of patients ASAP. I was told that Signature would provide all the help I need.
Who knows??
Wow! A 2:00am Transfer! Cruel. Sent a card of encouragment to Cookeville, hope it is forwarded. Please provide Signature Health Address. Enjoyed the Vienna Concert, too. Save me a Chit Chat Polka. Healing Thoughts from the (bitter cold) Jersey Shore.
ReplyDeleteThat rude transfer was a real shock! Cookeville will undoubtedly forward your card...but it might take time.
DeleteI'll have to look up the address for Signature and post it very soon. I'll put it at the end of this blog post.
The Vienna concert really lifted my spirits and evoked fond memories.
Stay warm at the Jersey Shore!
Now, I am glad I was lax on sending a card to Cookeville, Jon, but it sill be mailed this week to the new address. Even though you said you were transferred to a rehab facility, the time and also the ambulance trip sounded horrendous, not to mention the cold temps. I agree with a previous commenter that you sounded very depressed and exhaustion can do that. I hope things sill improve and that you keep on hanging in.
ReplyDeleteThe quick transfer was an unwanted surprise, but I was reassured that I'd get the same care as in the hospital.
DeleteI am truly exhausted. I've been through far too much and can hardly hang on....but I'm trying.
Thanks, Dorothy.
You're welcome, Jon, and just a heads up that I posted a paragraph at the end of my curent blog post. It gives brief info on a fellow blogger (yourself) and only states you have had a very tough time with medical issues. A link to your blog was included and a mention that this current post includes the address of the rehab facility should fellow bloggers be inclined to write, which I sincerely hope will happen.
Delete❤️
DeleteWhat a cruel twist! Little wonder you're spent!
ReplyDeleteAt least, I'm reassured that some of the staff remember you -- fondly, I'm presuming. Take as much comfort as you're able and please know you're (still) in our prayers. There's a new day coming!
The staff does remember me fondly, which is nice. I just don't have any more strength left. I am completely drained - - nothing more than a zombie.
DeleteHopefully a new day.....🧡
I can only image the kind of hell you are currently going through, Jon. Years ago after my dad had his last bad fall (it was on a Black Friday, actually) he spent two weeks in Reading Hospital and then they told him that his insurance would only cover two rehab facilities - Manor Care and Laurel Center. When they told him they were sending him to Manor Care (a HORRIBLE HORRIBLE PLACE! You would not even want to send an animal there, trust me!!!), I can still hear my dad SCREAMING, "OOOH NOOO! NO! NOT MANOR CARE!" My mom, purely only thinking of herself as usual because she did not want to drive to Laurel Center, tried to send him to Manor Care. I fought hard with her and told her my father was NOT going back there ever again!
ReplyDeleteSometime around 2AM, my dad got settled into Laurel Center and I remember saying to him, "I told you I would not let them take you back to Manor Care." and he looked up at me took my hand and said to me, "Father/daughter team" and smiled. And John is right - the medical field needs to get its' shit together big time!
May I suggest the score from the movie, "Amadeus"? It is quite good!
~ Kim
Rehab facilities are very often a nightmare. It's a blessing that you fought for your father's safety and welfare. Signature isn't a bad place - but they are consistantly confused. Fortunately, most of the staff likes me.
DeleteBut I feel SO helpless.....frustrated...depressed.
Amadeus is great!