THINGS YOU SHOULDN'T HEAR

 My mood is dismal, depressed, frustrated, anxious, fearful, angry, hopeless and semi-suicidal.

Other than that I'm okay.

You really shouldn't hear these things. I have nothing to offer but complaints and negativity. I don't feel like whitewashing things, or taking you on a bogus journey along the Sunshine Trail.

I left my humble rural home via ambulance on an afternoon in late December. My Christmas lights were still strung up across the living room. There was a gift basket of Christmas fruit. In my kitchen there were still (incredible) pumpkins left over from Halloween. The place was a total mess. I couldn't clean anything. I was in such excruciating pain from my back/spine that I couldn't walk - - or stand.

Why am I boring you with this?

Tomorrow is Memorial Day Weekend. The (unofficial) beginning of summer!!!

Five months have passed. Five precious months are completely wasted. I am so thoroughly disgusted that words (almost) fail me.

I've been through an absolute worthless maze of doctors, nurses, tests, medications. More friggin' medications than I ever thought a human could endure. Drugs are the God Almighty of the medical business. I'm probably reduced to being an addict. At least (some of) my physical pain is gone.

I can no longer have physical therapy, because my insurance co. dumped me when the 90 days were up. So I was forced into the waiting arms of Hospice. They are just waiting for me to die.

 Three (3) of their social workers come to visit me every week. All they do is take my vital signs (if I still have any), question me endlessly, and show disdain if I indicate any physical improvement.

I have to walk on proverbial eggshells when talking to them.

I recently read some reports that they're compiling about me. They write down everything I say. They aren't pleased if I show any signs of progress.

This is the Gospel truth.

I'm between a rock and a hard place.

Signature Health Care wants to keep me here bedridden until I croak. Hospice wants to bury me ASAP.

My (secret) plan is to go home and resume Home Health Care again. They have physical therapy available.

Problem is, I don't know if I still have a home. I haven't heard from anyone who (possibly) checked on it.

I don't know anything here in the Land of Limbo.

I saw Crystal, my (former) physical therapist, last week - - but she was in a hurry and couldn't talk. She brought me a big banana split.

A few days ago one of the workers here brought me a milkshake.

What about that cancerous "cyst" (sounds better than a wound) on my arm. Still bleeding. Late the other night, it bled so hard that two nurses had to tend to it.

I still haven't heard from the dermatologist about a surgical appointment. Rumor hazzit, that my surgery might be schedualed in July or August!!! That is a complete outrage. There's no way in hell I can wait that long.

Don't know what will happen.

I had another ocular migraine yesterday

Meanwhile.....

I can move my legs again, now that the edema is under control. So I'm doing lots of leg excercises in bed.

Have a lot more to tell, but what's the use? I'll only bore you.

Just to annoy all the AI haters, I've made a few more images. So.... you don't like my pretty pictures?

I have some that will delightfully disturb you. Think what you like....each picture tells a story......

(did the widowed bride kill her husband??)

The Curious Widowed Bride

Stage Five of Narcissism

The Wayward Priest

The Fortieth Anniversary

The Crow's Secret

(I made two of these)

Jon  🖤  eternally unnerving

P.S.

A special thank you to Jo from TN - - I got your card yesterday. It means a lot to know you're thinking about me.