GOOD LUCK

 We interrupt Jon's intriguingly interesting previous post to relay some good news on this Friday the 13th.

(don't get too excited - - it's nothing spectacular)

First of all, I've had a fairly rotten week. Nothing unusual about that. My mysterious fever returned last Sunday. It only lasted two days, but I felt worse than rotten.

The blood/urine tests turned out  "normal" (hell, I was never normal). I still think it is some sort of bladder infection - - because every time I get a fever I have to urinate very frequently.

Now, you didn't really want to hear that, did you?

So, what about the good luck?

I like to procrastinate while writing these posts, just to keep you on your toes - - or on the edge of your seat.

I kept TRYING to order groceries from Walmart all week and I tried for three days in a row.

The exact same thing happened on all three days:

I'd get up very early and put in my order right after the store opened. They assured me that the groceries would be delivered in three hours.

Three hours would pass by....and then I'd get an email message saying that the delivery was delayed. A few more hours would pass.....and then I'd get another message saying the order was cancelled.

This happened three days in a row. Customer Service had no plausible explanation. It was EXTREMELY frustrating - - but I assumed that they were short of delivery drivers again (this happened in the past).

And I'm always worried because I don't live anywhere near town. I'm a zillion miles away in the wilderness.

The drivers probably panic when they see my address - - and I don't blame them.

Anyway 

Today, Friday the 13th, I was drinking a cup of early morning coffee and  suddenly thought that I'd try another grocery order. What have I got to lose? I chose the two hour express delivery.

To my absolute astonishment, I got a message that my order was in the "shopping" phase! The next message said the delivery was en route. I watched the progress on a live-stream map. The groceries were delivered within an hour!

A Friday the 13th miracle!! If I wasn't  a friggin cripple, I would have jumped up from my wheelchair and danced with joy.

But I danced with joy anyway. Lately I'm able to walk a little without the aid of a walker. Progress, I suppose.

Also, it was supposed to rain heavily today but there wasn't any rain at all. It was warm and slightly overcast. A subtle hint of autumn is in the air.

And there's a subtle hint of optimism in my soul.

Jon

I got two pumpkins to start the autumn season.

The painting behind the pumpkins is an original 1850 Hungarian landscape.

Another boring view from the front porch taken today. The peak autumn foliage won't appear until the end of October, but the leaves are getting weary.

FRIDAY THE 13th

Blog posts have been showing up two to three days late on my reading list, which is why I'm behind in visiting your blogs.
Also, every time I try to access a blog, I get an annoying "Redirect" notice.

My shoulder still hurts so much that I can hardly lift my arm - which makes typing a bitch.

Foul weather again last night here in Tennessee. High winds accompanied by ample donner und blitzen. Eerily warm. At midnight it was 62 degrees (that's Fahrenheit, for those of you in the Baltics). 

I get those robocall weather alerts on my phone. Since I presently don't have a cell phone, the calls come via my landline phone.

I felt so rotten last night that I went to bed unusually early. The ringing phone jarred me awake. I was groggy, confused, and there were no lights on. I stumbled into the kitchen to answer the damn phone and tripped - - fell on my face. Somehow cut my knee. Blood was running down my leg.
As I grabbed blindly for the phone, I knocked some breakable things off a shelf and they crashed to the floor.

Me: Hello??

Robovoice: There's a Tornado Watch for Fentress County until midnight.

Me: F**k You!

My heart was pounding. I was wounded and bleeding. Broken glass was on the floor. I turned the ringer off on the phone.
I'd rather die in a tornado than get another robocall when I'm sleeping.
Almost....

Friday the 13th. Am I superstitious?
Not particularly. I prefer even numbers and tend to avoid odd ones (ironically, I was born on the 13th).
One true fact:
I NEVER go out on Thursday the 10th. It's my bad luck day. Something horrible happened to me on Thursday the 10th when I was twelve years old and I've avoided the day/date ever since. I refuse to reveal what it was.



How about that pesky Wuhan Chinese Coronavirus?

The virus is, of course, very real....
....but.....

The insane, perpetual, frenzied news media hype is absolute BULLSHIT and solely designed to generate panic and paralyze our country.

I'm very tempted to go into details, but I don't want to upset certain sensitive people
(not much, anyway......)

My advice:
Wash your hands and face

Be careful who you kiss

Stay the hell away from China.  

And if you're eager to blame our President for this fiasco, I'd advise you to spew your venom on China.

The virus originated in China and the Chinese government willingly unleashed it on an unsuspecting world.       

UNLUCKY?

 THEN

 NOW

It is said that my father accurately guessed the date of my birth. That wasn't exactly difficult to do. I have seven cousins on my father's side of the family and every one of them were born on either the 13th or 14th. On different months, of course.

This time around my birthday falls on Friday the 13th. A supposedly unlucky day - and an unnervingly accurate assessment of my entire life:
which has largely been one long consecutive series of disasters, mishaps, disillusion, mayhem, and misery.  

Of course, I'm a devout pessimist.

The only good thing is that I'm a Sagittarius. Which means I'm multi-talented, intelligent, good-looking, fascinating, sexy, and intriguingly unique. 

Of course, I made that up.

So, here's the Big Question:
How old am I?  

Let's put it this way - it would probably take half a dozen birthday cakes to hold all the candles.
I'm way over fifty. That's all I'll say.

But, I want to deny the ugly rumor that my childhood photos were taken by Mathew Brady.

Think about that for awhile. It will eventually get funny.


 By the way - a big happy birthday to Susan

 who shares my birthday.

FRIDAY THE 13th

It's Friday the 13th - which indicates bad luck.

But how would I know? Heck, I have bad luck every day of the year.

Another update on my present ailments would be futile. I'm still bedridden with hip, knee, and back pain.
But I keep assuring myself that I'm slowly getting better.

In honor of Friday the 13th I figured I'd offer you something weird (something perhaps weirder than myself).

Photos by Arthur Tress
(a New York photographer, born in 1940)
Tress never fails to conjure delicious dreams and nightmares.  I've always been intrigued by his work and can strongly identify with his quirky, bizarre, often macabre style.
Click on photos to enlarge them

 Arthur Tress

self-portrait 

One of my favorites

owl on a Texas road in 1975

Rocking Horse Mishap

 Tress did a series of shadow photos.

This one reminds me of the 1922 German vampire film Nosferatu

Blue Collar Fantasy

At a first quick glance I thought these were axes with blood (!!!) - - but they're shovels with autumn leaves. 

Location

 

FRIDAY THE 13TH

I had no intention of writing about Friday the 13th, for two reasons:

1. I'm not particularly superstitious

2. I generally have bad luck every day of the year, so Fridays with 13 in them are no particular problem. 

Early this morning - after about two delightful hours of uninterrupted sleep - I was rudely awakened by creatures running across the roof. It sure as hell wasn't Santa Claus, but sounded (to my untrained ears) sort of like a herd of antelopes. 

I leaped out of bed in my skivvies, grabbed a broom, went outside, and started banging the broom against the edge of the roof. Whatever the creatures were, they took off.

My banging not only scared the rooftop creatures, it annoyed a bunch of nearby wasps...
the weather has warmed up and wasps and bees are rampant...

A mob of angry wasps descends upon me like kamikaze pilots. I'm barefooted, in my underwear, frantically swinging the broom to ward off the attack. I manage to open the back door and get inside. As I'm breathing a quasi-asthmatic sigh of relief, I realize that one of the wasps got inside with me.

The wasp chases me around. I chase the wasp around. Long story short - - I eventually manage to clobber the wasp with the broom and beat him to a quivering pulp.

I look sweet. But I'm tough.

Since returning to sleep is now completely out of the question, I fire up my laptop and decide to do some work (I'm working on several new projects, to be mentioned in the near future).

I'm at the computer less than five minutes when there's a power failure.
It's very windy today, which - I assume - might have had something to do with it.

Half an hour later the power's back on but my laptop is strangely screwed up. The screen keeps going black. I can't access any websites. I have to reboot several times before things straighten out.

Meanwhile - -

I decided to boil some eggs. No big deal. I've done it before millions of times (I counted).


Back at the computer, twenty minutes later, I suddenly remember the eggs when the pot boils over - drenching the stove and popping all the eggs wide open.
This has never happened to me before.
Was I merely careless, or......

Did Friday the 13th have something to do with it?

My day has definitely been off to a bad start. But - in retrospect - most of my days have a bad start...and inevitably a bad finish.
I was cursed.

Totally unrelated:
Did I ever mention that I used to be a HUGE fan of the TV show Friday the 13th: The Series?
It was only on for three seasons - - I think from 1987-90.

Ryan, Micki, and Jack

Have a pleasant Friday the 13th...
and try to avoid black cats.

 With love, Bosco