MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE RANCH....

 So, what's happening in my neck of the woods?

I'm going to unleash all the negative things first.
If this bothers you, leave now and go to the Meditation Channel.

My health issues have become so alarming that I'm genuinely concerned (i.e. scared crapless). My spinal issues are not only impeding my ability to walk, but also effecting my coordination. At times I can hardly hold a pencil.

I fell in the bedroom the other morning and couldn't get up. As I desperately crawled painfully around on the floor, my cat Bosco came over to me and puked. Can it get any worse than that?

God is laughing His arse off at the punishments He's inflicting on me.
Don't doubt it.

I get crushing pains in my chest and alarming shortness of breath. My heartbeat is incredibly irregular.

I have aural migraines every day - the wicked kind that drastically effect my vision. I blame it on stress and computer eye strain.

Was that enough? I'll save the rest for another time.

How about going to a doctor, Jon?

I'm in the boonies, boys and girls. Doctors are 100 miles away. Besides, I know far too many people who are hopelessly addicted to doctors. I have no desire to spend all my time with appointments, unnecessary medications, and surgery.

If this offends anyone, sorry. I'm merely giving my truthful opinion. Many people truly need doctors due to serious on-going medical conditions.....but many others just go due to a psychological addiction.

This rural abode is infested with mice. Raccoons are nesting in the roof. Possums dwell under the house. Viciously aggressive bees are residing on the back and front porches. Every time I open a door, they try to get in.

It rains every day - and I mean EVERY day. The brush, weeds, and thorny shrubs are five feet high - at least. I'm planning to buy a good brush cutter and (perhaps) chain saw.

My laptop computer is now nine years old and falling apart (much like myself). I'm considering buying a new one next month (when I get some more money).

Due to my health problems, and the fact that my car is falling apart (like the laptop and myself), I've decided to (temporarily??) give up driving.
I am THOROUGHLY DISGUSTED with driving a zillion miles on dangerous mountain roads to go to town. To hell with it.

For the past few months I've been having all my food and supplies delivered. I'm able to get just about everything I need - and most of the shipping is free. 
I get most of my things from Walmart, Wild Fork Foods, Purdue Farms, Shisler Cheese Factory, and a few other places.

At first it was impossible to get milk, but now I buy UHT milk. It's expensive, but worth the price.
Never heard of it?
UHT milk goes through a radical (high-heat) pasteurization process, which makes it much more durable than regular supermarket milk.UHT milk can be kept up to three months without refrigeration. When it's finally opened, it has to be refrigerated.
I think it tastes far better than supermarket milk.

I've decided to abandon my usual Spartan starvation "diet". I am presently buying a lot of food...and sparing no expense. Hell, it's about all I have left to enjoy.......

Photos, anyone?

A glimpse of the back "yard"

Front "yard" this morning

UHT milk

My dinner today - Argentine sausage with onions and red, yellow, and green peppers. It tastes better than it looks.

Hopeless addiction

I'll admit it - - I am hopelessly addicted to green salad olives.......

Well, I've said enough for now.
Until later,    Jon

MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE RANCH

I'm interrupting my saccharine Hollywood posts to inject a toxic dose of my present reality.

So, how are things going in the wilderness, Jon?

Well,
The clothes dryer is still kaput,
the microwave still isn't working,
the animals in the roof are managing to rip out some of the insulation,
and as of yesterday the furnace isn't working properly.

My water bill TRIPLED because I had to keep the faucets running so the pipes wouldn't freeze.
My heating bill is so high that I almost went into cardiac arrest when I saw it (and I'm extremely frugal about using the heat) 

I put several important letters in the mailbox over a week ago and was horrified to see (yesterday) that the mail carrier never picked them up!
One of them was the payment for my property taxes.

The only good news is that it finally stopped raining for a day.

I would do an interpretative Dance of Joy, but my back hurts too damn much.

I had to drive to town yesterday. The only good news is that I DIDN'T get a migraine headache this time (like I did the last two times).

BUT I forgot to buy trash bags (AGAIN!) and toilet paper (AGAIN!!) and brackets for some shelves that I'm putting up.

Aside:
Awhile ago, one irate blogger chastised me for mentioning toilet paper. "It's impolite" she said.

Relax, sweetheart. We ALL use it. Even the Pope.

I had a problem buying cat food in Walmart (again!!). They are all out of Purina Complete (again) - which is my cat's favorite food.

Then - - -
way, way, way back on a top shelf, I saw a bag of Purina Complete......but it was so FAR back that I couldn't reach it.

I stood on the lowest shelf, but still couldn't reach it.

I tried various other methods of attempting to grasp the bag but failed every time.

I'm 6 foot 1 inch tall and have long arms, but the bag of Purina was unreachable.
I scanned the store for an employee but none were around.

It's ironic that Walmart employees are constantly in your way - but when you need one, they all disappear.

Finally, I saw an employee - but she was about 89 years old and four feet tall.

Shit. I went home Purina-less.

I have a lot more to bitch about - but I'll spare you.

I haven't been reading blogs lately, and I haven't been responding to your comments on my blog - but I love all of you (except the trolls, of course).
Don't abandon me.