CALLING ALL COWS

For the past three years - ever since I first moved here - I've been telling you that I live next to a cow meadow. I've posted many photos of it. I've readily acknowledged the fact that my neighbors are cows.

And you've probably been saying:
Okay, I've seen the meadow.
But where the hell are the cows?

Today, finally, I decided to venture outside accompanied by my El Cheapo camera - - on a mission to document the cows.

My efforts yielded these results - which, I'm sure, will excite you almost as much as it excited me.

I have no doubt that some cow expert will ruin my day by informing me that these are bulls, or something......
After all, I don't profess to be a farmer. I'm just an innocent, misplaced city boy.

All I know is that these neighboring animals always go Mooooooo - so I'm assuming they're cows.

Do bulls Mooooo??

My most observant readers are probably looking at these photos and saying:
Jon, you're supposed to be living in a forest. How come trees are sparse in these photos??

The answer is 
Yes, I do live at the edge of the forest and my shack is surrounded by trees. But the cow meadow adjacent to my property is in an area where the forest tappers off - - or perhaps the trees were cut down?

Here's the forest near the cow meadow, photographed from my property.

Today was a busy day. I not only took pictures of cows (or possibly bulls), I also drove into town. I didn't want to go but I was completely (and I mean completely) out of everything.

I was initially going to write about my harrowing excursion to town, but decided to only do the cows instead. I didn't want to overwhelm you with too much of a good thing.

Can you guess that I had a couple of beers today? I generally don't drink any more - - but my nerves (or what's left of them) have been so shredded and shattered lately that I needed supplemental courage.

Hell, I actually need a consultation with Freud and an ample supply of Prozac, but the beer will do for now.

INTO MY DRAWERS

Apparently it's pretty easy to get into my drawers, but I think you already knew that.

Jon, why don't you move way out into the countryside - away from trouble and stress? It'll be fun!

That was me talking to myself a few years ago.

WHAM!
Ouch!
BAM!!
Ouch!!

That's the sound of me kicking my ass today. 
Question:
If an ass is kicked in the forest and nobody's there, does it still make a sound? (don't ponder that for too long - you might hear something).

All right. Let's cut to the chase.

It's no secret that I've been having problems with wild animals ever since I first moved here. 
Squirrels are in the roof. Unknown creatures are under the house.
I've had two (TWO - count 'em) 'possums inside the house (I've done blog posts about those adventures). 

And then there are mice.
My cat Scruffy deposited a dead mouse in my bed once. Right by my pillow.
A few nights ago Bosco killed a mouse and (thankfully) left it by the front door.

I grew apprehensive- to say the least- when I recently heard post-midnight scratching noises in one of my desks.
It's a small desk that my parents bought for me when I was about fourteen. I've kept it for sentimental reasons.

Yesterday, in the safety of daylight, I cautiously opened a drawer - already knowing what I was going to find.

Sure enough, there were not only mouse "droppings", but the little bastards had started eating some of my file folders!!!

mouse droppings in my drawers

That was only the first drawer. The others were far worse.

They even took sporadic shits on the Easter cards that I had planned to send to friends and relatives.

Trying to look at the bright side (hahahaha), I said
"Well, at least they didn't urinate in the drawers."

That was right before I opened the lower drawer and was greeted by an odious puddle of rodent piss.

When they weren't crapping and peeing, they were obviously stockpiling cat food.

Various bits of dry cat food

They gnawed the tail off this old mechanical Easter chick, which I bought a few years ago for the cats to play with. You wind it up and it hops along the floor.

They also emptied this basket of California seashells and used it for a nest!!! I cleaned the basket and salvaged the shells.

I had initially reserved Saturday afternoon for working on some long-neglected important projects. Instead, I had to spend hours cleaning and disinfecting the desk. And I was forced to throw out many of the things that were in the drawers.

Fortunately, the mice had peed on some thick cardboard instead on the desk drawer itself. Thank God for small favors. No permanent stains.

Here's the last laugh.

In one of the drawers I found this box of Chinese stress balls.

They are a pair of silver balls that you place in the palm of your hand to relieve stress. When you move them around they make a soothing, vibrating sound.

So, here I am -

devising ways to kill the mice....

and playing with my balls.

Note: the Oscar post on my sidebar was written last year.

WEIRD SKY

So, where's the online store, Jon?

It's all set up, ready to go. But I'm a procrastinator. Not to mention a perfectionist. I'm ironing out "kinks", so to speak.


My father was a perfectionist. Wow, could I ever tell stories about him......

Many things around here have been subtracting from my time with the store.

I have acute hay fever from the weeds.

 I'm having "problems" (to put it mildly) with:
raccoons, squirrels, 'possums, mice, insects.

Did I mention wasps? I took down over ten (yes, 10) nests this week.
That's the cue for a story.

I had an old air conditioner on the back porch for a long time. It was left by the previous owners and I hated it. It's HUGE and HEAVY. And I mean HEAVY. In complete exasperation I simply covered it with an old carpet and left it there (despite the fact that I hate junk hanging around).

Well.....the wasps made a nest in the air conditioner and another nest in the carpet! I didn't know the nests were there and when I tried to move the air conditioner, they all flew out in Attack Mode. I started swinging a mop at them and somehow made it into the house safely. I never saw such angry wasps in my life.
I was afraid to go out on the back porch again for days.

Finally I got the courage to tackle the nests. Armed with gloves, heavy clothing, and Mega Strong bug spray I managed to get the two nests....
......but angry wasps were still hanging around for several more days. It was a slow process but I finally got things under control.
AND I didn't get stung!!!

BTW - I just found another nest by the garage.

Today I cleaned the air conditioner and dragged it into the garage (the process of dragging ravaged my bad back and nearly killed me).

I'm presently painting the back porch - which is taking much longer than expected. And this is only the first coat of paint....

So, what about the weird sky, Jon?

I looked up at the sky this afternoon and saw a bunch of weird "formations" streaking everywhere. It was incredible.

My initial thought was:
Holy shit, Rocket Man is shooting missiles at Tennessee!

I grabbed my El Cheapo camera and took some pics - - but they aren't nearly as impressive as it looked in real. The entire sky had streaks everywhere.

Air Force maneuvers? Martians? Missiles? Heck if I know.

Back porch (this is only the first coat)

Weird sky

Streak over back yard

This almost looks like sky writing.
Remember when the witch wrote Surrender, Dorothy! in the "Wizard of Oz"?
I was expecting to see Surrender, Jon!

Two more streaks coming up from behind the trees (center) and one more coming in on the far right (top).

I think it's an invasion.

Here's my back yard without streaks.