Showing posts with label fear. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fear. Show all posts

Monday, February 24, 2020

LIVING DANGEROUSLY?



What if you lived entirely alone in a rural area, on the edge of a forest, with no nearby neighbors, where the nights are darker and more foreboding than the devil's soul?

What if the flimsy house you live in has doors and windows that are very easy to break into? What if the most recent cell phones you purchased were completely worthless, since they can't pick up signals in such a remote area?

Would you be afraid late at night - with nothing to keep you company but two lazy cats.......and the hooting owls and howling coyotes nearby outdoors?

You can only imagine what this place is like during a power outage.

When I moved here five years ago, I was admittedly scared shitless for the first two weeks. My extremely vivid imagination went wild.

Soon, however, I got used to the isolation and solitude - and grew to love it. And came to embrace the imagined dangers.
Ghosts in the woods. Rural monsters afoot. Maniacal serial killers wandering the restless countryside. 

When I first came here, for the first few years, I had no curtains or blinds on any of the windows. I let the intoxicating moonlight stream in.

Lately...finally.... I put blinds on all the windows. But I pull the blinds completely up on my bedroom window, so I can look out at the night while laying in bed.
The window in my bedroom isn't on "ground-level". It's way up high - so there's no chance that Bigfoot could ever look in......
......unless he's twelve feet tall....

I've occasionally slept with the doors unlocked - but lately I'm much more careful.

Am I deliberately courting danger? Do I have a death wish?

Truth to tell, I have always courted danger. In my sordid past, I've done more horrifyingly dangerous things than I'd ever care to tell. 

Yet I'm neither tough, bold, nor courageous. I simply don't scare very easily.
Whenever I hear a creepy sound outside in the middle of the night, I always go out to investigate it.

Incidentally, I have a gun and know how to use it. Firearm opponents be damned.

And what do I do for entertainment in the after-midnight hours here in the wilderness?
I like to read ghost stories and true-crime stories.
I love to watch scary videos on YouTube about unsolved murders and unexplained mysteries.

Am I totally crazy?
Naw, not totally. I now always make sure the doors are locked...and the gun is loaded.
And every once in awhile - just for a change of pace - I'll watch a benign movie with a Disney theme.

Here are some photos that I took within the past few weeks.


The full moon setting behind the nearby mountain, just before dawn.




         The early morning sun appearing in the misty forest




Note: I removed my previous "question and answer" post, simply because I didn't like it.

Friday, June 7, 2019

DEAD OF NIGHT



I wish I could bring you here, after midnight, and show you how unfathomably black and foreboding the surrounding forest is.

I love it. The sightless hours between dusk and dawn have always been my respite and emotional salvation.

When I first moved here - for about the first two weeks - I was admittedly very apprehensive. I wasn't used to the wild sounds of the wilderness. I had unwholesome visions of being attacked by wild animals..... or being robbed and violated by a roving band of moonshine-crazed, inbred hillbillies.

I threw in the "violated" part for dramatic effect.

Now, however - after four and a half years - I have no fear at all. I'll (reluctantly) admit that, on numerous occasions, I have even slept with the door unlocked.

Recent events have inspired me to be more cautious and careful. I won't expound, but it's best not to encourage danger.....

As disturbing as it sounds, I have always courted danger. My youthful escapades in California - especially on the midnight streets of L.A. and Hollywood - would make life in the forest pale drastically in comparison.

Humanity is much more dangerous than nature. 

My thoughts are wandering down dark paths tonight. It's raining now, way after midnight, on an unusually quiet night. No owls, no coyotes or wild dogs. No nothing. I saw some lightning bugs earlier in the evening, but now even they are gone.

I had planned on driving to town on Friday (that's today) but thunderstorms are predicted by dawn - and all through the weekend. I'll try to go on Monday. 

I should be doing other things rather than writing in this useless blog.
I'd like to complete the two volumes of my memoirs while my mental faculties are still reasonably sound......

.......which is a matter of debate.