Those people who read my blog regularly (all three of you) know how much I despise making the long drive into town. Navigating the narrow, winding mountain road unnerves me beyond the realms of redemption.
I'd rather be hung upside-down, stark naked, by my toes...in the public square.
I'd rather have my balls cut off by a myopic veterinarian.
Anyway, if the thought of driving to town sends me into spams of despair, the prospect of driving to town during a pandemic virus ordeal nearly renders me comatose.
I procrastinated all week.
Finally, on Friday (that's today), I decided it was D-Day.
So far there have been no Covid-19 Virus outbreaks in the Tennessee county where I live - but, of course - that could change in an instant.
No matter what, I'm infinitely glad that I live in a rural area rather than a big city.
Our town has a population of under 2,000. A lot of people were out and about today but many places were closed or restricted. The bank and the fast-food restaurants (thankfully) kept their drive-through windows open.
The tiny convenience store where I get gas was closed, but they were still selling gas. I had to go around to the back door to pay for it.
The young woman who took my money was smoking a cigar - - I kid you not!
Walmart:
the dreaded but necessary highlight of my shopping excursion.
I always park near the garden shop and go in through the side door. The first thing I encountered were two women wearing surgical masks.
Holy crap! Should I have worn a mask? Are they de rigueur?
The masks look too somber and sinister.
Besides - I'd hate to obscure my pretty face.
About half the people in Walmart had masks, including a few employees. Ironically, most were women. The men were generally maskless.
I was delighted to see that most of the shelves were adequately stocked.....
.....until I got to the toilet paper.
Completely empty!! Not one shred of paper left! No Kleenex, either, and VERY few paper towels.
In a panic flash of greed and desperation, I grabbed some rolls of paper towels.
And I'm thinking:
Holy shit (no pun intended) -
what is this INSANE OBSESSION with toilet paper?????
Here's a flash:
Wiping your ass isn't going to alleviate the China Virus.
And bread - - -
the entire bread aisle was completely empty.
Thankfully I was able to get six crescent rolls in the "markdown" bin - - and a dozen chocolate donuts!
My next stop was the local supermarket, where the situation was exactly the same:
absolutely no bread, no toilet paper...
.....and no Ramen noodle soup.
I always get Ramen soup and crackers for a snack.
A notice was posted in the empty toilet paper aisle:
NOTICE TO OUR CUSTOMERS
but the print was too damn small to read. I couldn't discern one word.
Well, my excursion to town yielded a few necessary supplies - despite the fact that I'm without toilet paper and bread.
I did manage to procure a package of hamburger rolls. But I forgot to buy trash bags, which I desperately need.
I might try to go to town again before Easter.....who knows...?
So, what's my take on this Chinese Wuhan Corona Covid-19 Virus?
I'm damn glad that I'm a hermit living in the wilderness. That doesn't fully exempt me from the plague...but at least I'm used to blissful ISOLATION.
Are there any positive aspects to this insane virus pandemonium?
Yea - Joe Biden and Bernie Sanders seem to have disappeared.
Aw, lighten up! You've secretly been thinking the same thing - - but I had the guts to say it out loud.
Smile.
Stay safe.
Don't get caught up in the rampant epidemic of mass media hysteria.
