Friday, March 27, 2020

D-DAY



Those people who read my blog regularly (all three of you) know how much I despise making the long drive into town. Navigating the narrow, winding mountain road unnerves me beyond the realms of redemption.

I'd rather be hung upside-down, stark naked, by my toes...in the public square.

I'd rather have my balls cut off by a myopic veterinarian.
 
Anyway, if the thought of driving to town sends me into spams of despair, the prospect of driving to town during a pandemic virus ordeal nearly renders me comatose.

I procrastinated all week.
Finally, on Friday (that's today), I decided it was D-Day.

So far there have been no Covid-19 Virus outbreaks in the Tennessee county where I live - but, of course - that could change in an instant.
No matter what, I'm infinitely glad that I live in a rural area rather than a big city. 

Our town has a population of under 2,000. A lot of people were out and about today but many places were closed or restricted. The bank and the fast-food restaurants (thankfully) kept their drive-through windows open.

The tiny convenience store where I get gas was closed, but they were still selling gas. I had to go around to the back door to pay for it.
The young woman who took my money was smoking a cigar - - I kid you not!

Walmart:
the dreaded but necessary highlight of my shopping excursion.

I always park near the garden shop and go in through the side door. The first thing I encountered were two women wearing surgical masks. 

Holy crap! Should I have worn a mask? Are they de rigueur?
The masks look too somber and sinister.
Besides - I'd hate to obscure my pretty face. 

About half the people in Walmart had masks, including a few employees. Ironically, most were women. The men were generally maskless.

I was delighted to see that most of the shelves were adequately stocked.....

.....until I got to the toilet paper.

Completely empty!! Not one shred of paper left! No Kleenex, either, and VERY few paper towels.
In a panic flash of greed and desperation, I grabbed some rolls of paper towels.

And I'm thinking:
Holy shit (no pun intended) -
what is this INSANE OBSESSION with toilet paper?????

Here's a flash:
Wiping your ass isn't going to alleviate the China Virus.    

And bread - - -
the entire bread aisle was completely empty.
Thankfully I was able to get six crescent rolls in the "markdown" bin - - and a dozen chocolate donuts!

My next stop was the local supermarket, where the situation was exactly the same:
absolutely no bread, no toilet paper...
.....and no Ramen noodle soup.
I always get Ramen soup and crackers for a snack.

A notice was posted in the empty toilet paper aisle:
NOTICE TO OUR CUSTOMERS

but the print was too damn small to read. I couldn't discern one word.


Well, my excursion to town yielded a few necessary supplies - despite the fact that I'm without toilet paper and bread.
I did manage to procure a package of hamburger rolls. But I forgot to buy trash bags, which I desperately need.
I might try to go to town again before Easter.....who knows...?

So, what's my take on this Chinese Wuhan Corona Covid-19 Virus?

I'm damn glad that I'm a hermit living in the wilderness. That doesn't fully exempt me from the plague...but at least I'm used to blissful ISOLATION.

Are there any positive aspects to this insane virus pandemonium?

Yea - Joe Biden and Bernie Sanders seem to have disappeared.

Aw, lighten up! You've secretly been thinking the same thing - - but I had the guts to say it out loud.

Smile.
Stay safe. 
Don't get caught up in the rampant epidemic of mass media hysteria.     


27 comments:

  1. Either we start using leaves, ( make sure they are not the poison I've type!) Or do like the old days- wash rags dunked in the toilet & then washed in what ever disinfectant you can find. That's how we did cloth diapers before pampers were invented. Stay calm above all! Its going to get crazy. We're in for the roller coaster ride of our lives. My son in Florida was telling me how bad its getting where he lives. Be sooo very glad we are not in Jersey New York or California! Take care be safe everyone!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Things seem to be getting more insane every day. I was wondering if you're still working, or did they lay you off because of the virus? I would really hate to be in Jersey now - it's absolutely nothing like it was when we were young. I think Cookie got out just in time.... Take care and Luv

      Delete
  2. Hermits are the New Rock Stars! Hehhe. Though I get so much entertainment from Biden.... He makes me laugh... when I don't pity him.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rock Stars? I never thought of it that way, but I like the concept. Biden provides a great source of never-ending laughs, but I do pity him. His "keepers" should be merciful and stop him from campaigning - instead of making him look like a fool.

      Delete
  3. "I'd rather have my balls cut off by a myopic veterinarian." Now Jon...lets not talk crazy here!!!!! I haven't been out since March 15...and I still have provisions of everything...but eggs. I went to get some today, and laugh all you want, but once out of my car I put on a new pair of those yellow dishwashing gloves, I had under my sink, and got the few things I needed. I felt just like a 1960's housewife!!! Three people even complimented my gloves and provided some comic relief in there. When I go next, which will be awhile, I might paint the tips pink.

    Glad you found most of your items. My store was not to crowd and was ran very organized and many staple items you were able to buy two and that's it. The only thing still cleaned up here was the paper goods aisle and the cleaning products. NO EGGS!!!

    I stopped at a neighbor's place that I know, who sells them from her coop. No one has thought to go back roads where they sell farm fresh eggs. She had tons of eggs. I got two dozen. So now Im back in my hole, and cards on the table...I don't mind this quarantine too much myself.

    Now you take care and NO MORE rodents, snakes, slips,falls or sinking in mud!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I really laughed at the image of you wearing dishwashing gloves like a 1960s housewife. I actually think gloves are a great idea - even better than a mask. Everything we touch in those stores are loaded with germs - including the money. I not only wash my hands - I scrub my face and shampoo my mustache!

      I'm glad you were able to get fresh country eggs. Our supermarket was low on milk but had plenty of eggs. I think the eggs come from a local source. Take care and Hugs

      Delete
  4. I came back to check you survived shopping :-) I don't get the toilet paper obsession either - does the rest of the world have the squits? Hope you've got some nice soft leaves growing nearby.
    Masks and gloves help halt the spread of virus (not insanity alas) I like to wear my mask high enough to cover tired eye circles.
    Good luck finding bread and noodles next time xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm glad that I survived the insanity so far - - but I hope this toilet paper obsession doesn't become a permanent thing. I'd hate to stockpile tree leaves...

      Perhaps masks will become a new fashion statement.

      Delete
  5. We haven't been able to get tp, bread, eggs, and butter for weeks. Even flour seems to be stockpiled, so I guess there are a bunch of Betty Crockers in the making? People are idiots!

    Yes, the fewer people in your community, the better and safer you are. Thanks for posting so we know you are ok!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can't understand this obsessive panic buying....it's only making the situation worse. Our supermarket is low on some things, such as milk - but we have plenty of eggs.

      I'm fervently hoping that they will get more TP.....and people will stop hording it.

      Delete
  6. Yes. Jon, grocery shopping is much the same in this area too, lots of shortages especially for bread products and TP (what's up with this???), flour, pasta, frozen foods. Thankfully, there are 3 major supermarkets and several retail pharmacies, some are within walking distance of our apt, which means we're getting outside and don't have to drive anywhere (exercise and saving gas). Living in a rural area has its benefits (less people) and drawbacks (less services) but we also lived in a very small area years ago (pop 500) which we enjoyed for 12 years so I understand your feelings. That said, we moved because of concern for medical facilities as we were getting older :-( Please keep us, your faithful fellow bloggers, updated on how you're doing. Sorry about the shortages and wish I could send some of my homemade bread to you :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for your kind comment and concern. It is definitely frustrating to live in a rural area where decent places to shop are limited. For groceries we only have the Walmart Supercenter and one supermarket. And I have to drive a zillion miles to get there. You're fortunate to have stores withing walking distance.

      Homemade bread sounds great!!!

      Delete
  7. what a visual. a myopic veterinarian. scary thought indeed. toilet paper is gone everywhere. most places don't even have napkins. i got lucky last week, i went to senior day at walmart at 6am. they had one small pallet of toilet paper. limit one per family. i got it. it was the house brand cost $15 bucks for 12 rolls, i think. also heard kroger had 30 rolls for $9.99. but very limited quanities. gone shortly after they put 'em on the floor. i looked tp up on ebay and its going for a fortune with astronomical shipping charges. i did find one thing that gave me a chuckle, though... some guy was selling what he called a reusable anus purification cloth. to me, it looked like a baby diaper. crazy times. glad you are safe from the crowds. it's nuts out there for sure. take care. glad you were able to pick up some supplies.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This panic buying is really becoming a major problem everywhere and it's scary. My biggest fear is that these food and supply shortages will become a permanent thing. And I've noticed that the prices have gone up on many things.
      Our Walmart doesn't have a senior day - at least not that I know of.

      I'm hoping they will have more supplies the next time I go to town, but I'm not optimistic. Take care and be safe.

      Delete
  8. Sorry to hear about the TP and bread … but your delightful account makes me smile. Say, would you be willing to swap some gin for TP? (Dreaming of a martini....) Our governor has ordered all 'non-essential' businesses to close shop, but gun shops are permitted to stay open. Only in the South!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Myra, if I had gin I'd be drinking it. You can't get anything around here but beer. I'm really surprised that the gun stores are open in your neck of the woods. You're right - - - only in the South!
      What I'd really like now is some of that cheesecake (*smile*).

      Delete
  9. Forgot to add...you too stay as safe and well as possible, considering the current world situation and keep on blogging. It's OK to rant and vent...after all, what else is there to do some days? And, besides sometimes it just plain feels good!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Blogging is one of the few things that keeps me sane.....or as "sane" as I'll ever get...

      Delete
  10. There was already some panic shopping here the last time Leah went shopping two weeks ago. We have no idea how it is until she will venture out in another 4-5 weeks.
    Wait till you find out what I am doing for toilet paper--LOL! Old hippies and young environmentalists come up with stuff--LOL! I'll be talking about it on the blog when they get here from England...could be a few weeks. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I keep hoping that the local stores will have more supplies the next time I'm in town, but I have my doubts. Panic-buying is rampant and no end is in sight.

      I'll be looking forward to your toilet paper solution. I have a feeling I'll soon be using the cat's litter boxes....

      Delete
  11. Situations like the ones we are all suffering certainly bring out the best in people. My neighbour delivered a loaf of my favourite bread and wouldn't take any money. Tomorrow she is going to the supermarket and asked me to prepare a list of items needed. I am, to say the least, grateful.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Valerie, I agree that difficult situations often bring out the best in people - and it restores my faith in humanity. I'm so glad that you have helpful, caring neighbors at a time when you really need it. Thanks for the good news, and take care.

      Delete
  12. Hi Jon, I am happy to see this update because I was starting to be concerned for your well being.
    This is a difficult situation but there is much to be grateful for- a roof, water, electricity, food and WiFi are luxuries that many only dream of. I am also thankful for our president who imo has done an awesome job in this crisis. This experience is teaching me to remember what is really important in life.
    ♥️♥️♥️♥️Susan

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I really appreciate your concern, Susan. Difficult times like these give us an opportunity to appreciate all the things that we usually take for granted.
      I agree that our President is doing a fantastic job. It's a shame that there are so many bitter, jealous, biased people who hate him.
      Take care and keep in touch.

      Delete
  13. Dear Jon, I'm impressed! I haven't seen so much toilet paper piled in one place in weeks! Great photo. Indeed, all great photos. Stay well and safe. You're important to me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I truly appreciate your good wishes, Geo.

      Delete

I love comments. Go ahead and leave one - I won't bite. But make sure you have a rabies shot just in case.