Wednesday, August 31, 2016

40 ANSWERS TO 40 QUESTIONS






This is the latest Meme that is circulating in Blogland. I lifted it from Anne Marie and she lifted it from someone else.

Actually, I loathe the word (or semi-word) meme as much as I hate selfie, but that's beside the point. I enjoy answering questions. As long as they're not about age, sexuality, or taxes.

Most people answer these with one bland word - - but I have never been a one-word person. As most of you know.

1. Are you named after anyone?
I was named after my father, but I always despised being a "junior". After I graduated from high school I legally changed my name to Jonathan.

2. When was the last time you cried?
a) This morning when I tried to get out of bed with back spasms.

b) When I got the latest bill from my Internet provider. I was paying $53 a month for high speed in Texas. Here in Tennessee I'm paying $85 for the exact same thing. 

c) When I watched a performance of Die Walkure last weekend. I always get teary-eyed during Wotan's farewell to Brunhilde.

3. Do you like your handwriting?
It's better than a lot of other people's handwriting....but when I'm jotting down thoughts in a notebook my careful script becomes semi-print and is sloppy.

4. What is your favorite lunch meat? 
I despise the term lunch meat because it conjures up visions of that packaged crap at the supermarket. I love deli meats - most especially hard salami. 
But here in rural Tennessee they've never heard of a deli - - or hard salami.

5. Do you have any kids?
None that I know of. The farther away I am from kids, the better.
Let me put it this way - I loathed kids even when I was a child. 

6. If you were another person would you be friends?
An oddly worded question but I think I get the gist. Initially, I'd probably hate myself. After getting to know me I'd undoubtedly be friends. I might even get intimate. 

7. Do you use sarcasm?
Sarcasm is my middle name. It can be dangerous. And often misunderstood.

8. Do you still have your tonsils?
Yes, and nobody's ever going to get them. Removing tonsils is an unnecessary procedure and - in my humble opinion - a medical hoax. Ten thousand doctors will disagree. 

9. Would you bungee jump?
Let me put it this way: I get anxiety attacks going to the library. I need Valium and alcohol to go shopping at Walmart. There's no way in hell you'll catch me dangling by my feet at the end of a rope.
Although several people would enjoy seeing me dangling by my neck from a rope.  

10. What is your favorite cereal?
Whatdaya think, I'm ten years old??
I like raisin bran (if it has LOTS of raisins) and cream of wheat. And Rice Chex.

11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? 
I haven't tied or untied shoes since I wore sneakers in high school gym class. I wear boots all the time. Cowboy boots. I'm a tough guy. 

12. Do you think you're strong?
Well, I can be pretty damn abrasive. Physically I'm not too strong. Mentally, I'm a powerhouse.

13. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? 
 Chocolate mint. Pumpkin. Do they still make pumpkin ice cream? I used to get it at Baskin-Robbins when I was a kid.
Peach. Peppermint. And vanilla. And any ice cream with peanut butter in it.

14. What is the first thing you notice about people?
Probably their stupidity, rudeness, sloppiness, and indifference. 
I especially notice cute people who look easily attainable and have a nice ass. 

15. Red or pink?
I don't like red or pink - - but, if forced at gunpoint, I'd choose red. Long live the Bolsheviks.  

16. What is the least favorite thing you like about yourself?
How much time do we have? My impatience, my crudeness, my selfish tendencies.
Oh, you mean physically?
Just about everything. I avoid mirrors like the plague. 

17. What color pants and shoes are you wearing right now?
I'm presently wearing an old pair of white shorts - - mainly because it's hot and I'm alone. I'd never wear shorts in public.
Shoes?? I'm wearing El Cheapo beachwalkers - or thongs (as they were called in California when I was a kid). 

18. What was the last thing you ate?
Hot dogs, with onions, chili, and mustard - and homemade potato salad.

19. What are you listening to right now?
My labored breathing with clogged sinuses.
And the neighboring cows mooing in the meadow (I'm not jesting - it's true).  

20. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
Are crayon colors still legal? The liberal Government Fairness Commission has seemingly expunged every color I knew as a child, for fear that it might offend somebody. The color "flesh" is sure as hell gone.
Is there a color left called "rainbow"? I'd choose that, because I am alarmingly colorful.   

21. Favorite smell.
Smell? Like B.O., fart, or skunk??
My favorite aromas probably include burning leaves on an autumn evening, apple orchards, apricot blossoms, cinnamon bread baking, gardenias. I love the scent of gardenias best of all.


22. Who was the last person you talked to?
Myself.

23. Favorite sport to watch.
Cock fights and croquet.
Actually baseball and soccer.   

24. Hair color that's real.
 Another stupidly-worded question. Hair color??  I'm a natural blonde and can prove it, if you want to get intimate. 
I absolutely HATE fake blondes with black roots. 

25. Do you wear contacts? 
I've worn contact lenses since I was eighteen. That was about 150 years ago. 

26. Favorite food.
Anything but sushi.
My range of favorites are too vast to list here. Seafood, Italian, Mexican, Hungarian, German. Junk food. I'm a junk food connoisseur.

27. Scary movies or happy endings?
There are no happy endings in life - so why should there be in movies? I love scary movies - the more frightening, the better.  

28. The last movie you watched?
Swoon - the 1992 film directed by Tom Kalin. I think it's brilliant.  It's available on YouTube (at least until they remove it for copyright violations...)

29. What color shirt are you wearing?
It's so damn hot that I'm not wearing any shirt. I only have on white shorts and beachwalkers. Don't attempt to visualize this. I don't want anyone to hurt themselves.  

30. Summer or winter? 
Autumn, absolutely. I have an autumnal soul. 
I love the transitional seasons - autumn and spring.
If forced by gunpoint, I'd choose winter before summer.

31. Hugs or kisses?
Depends a lot on whom I'm with. If you're cute and sexy - definitely kisses. Long, passionate, intimate, soul-searching, erotically artistic kisses.
Holy crap, I'm getting hot just thinking about it. 

32. Favorite sweet food?     
A complete impossibility to choose. Depends on my mood. Candy. Anything chocolate. Cake. Pastries. Cookies. Especially home-baked cookies. 

33. What book are you currently reading?
My blogger friend Ron generously sent me a lot of his old Hollywood books. I'm reading bios on Sam Goldwyn, Billy Wilder, and Barbara Stanwyck.   
I'm also re-reading Nocturnes for the King of Naples by Edmund White.

34. What is on your mouse pad?
I don't have a mouse pad, but I do have mice. I caught one eating crackers in the kitchen the other night.  

35. What did you watch on TV last?
I don't have a TV - ever since I moved to Tennessee - and I don't miss it. The Internet keeps me company, most especially YouTube.
Actually, I did watch some of the Olympics on live-stream.

36. Favorite sound?
Blessed silence. 

37. Rolling Stones or Beatles?
Beatles. But I also like the Stones. And I love the Scorpions and King Crimson.  

38. What is the farthest you have traveled? 
In my mind, light years away.
Mexico. Canada. And other places......

39. Do you have a special talent?
Yea - sex, and brilliantly answering stupid questions on blogs.
Actually, I'm a delicate artistic type. I am talented in music, writing, and art. Are they special talents? Hell if I know.  

40. Where were you born?
New Brunswick, New Jersey.
Thank God my parents moved to Southern California when I was five.  
Any more questions?