Okay, I have to take a few deep breaths because I'm hyperventilating. This is the very limit of my endurance.
I didn't drive into town last Friday (the 13th) because it was rainy, I felt rotten, and was in a foul mood. Despite the fact that I desperately needed to get groceries and other things, I figured I'd valiantly wait until Monday.
I spent the weekend anxiously counting the hours (and minutes) until Monday.
Monday morning (that's today!):
Despite having minimal sleep and maximum ailments, I got up at dawn to get an early start. Showered. Shaved. Forced myself to put on some decent clothes. Hauled all my trash bags out to the car to take to the dump (there's no trash pick-up here in the wilderness).
Just as I was ready to leave I heard on the news that today is a holiday!!!!!!!
The banks are closed.
I can't shop without going to the bank. I have about 35 cents in my pocket.
And don't tell me about ATM machines. I haven't seen one since I was in Los Angeles.
Prepare yourselves - here comes the rant:
America has more FRICKIN' holidays than any place on earth. Every goddamn Monday is a holiday and I'm sick of it. I don't give a rat's ass about Martin Luther King or his dream. If you care, then go light a candle or something - but don't force it on me.
And the first person who calls me a racist is going to get my "Vladimir Putin" poster shoved up your ample derriere.
This goes for President's Day, Columbus Day, and every other harebrained holiday that they come up with. All of them should be banned.
I specifically chose Monday to drive to town because it's supposed to rain on Tuesday - - - but, of course, it rains in Tennessee about 340 days a year. I should be used to it.
BTW -
I just read the comments on my previous blog post and someone (named Anonymous) warned me that Monday would be a holiday. Sorry that I didn't see it sooner.
So, here it is early Monday morning and I'm all dressed up with no place to go. How the hell am I going to kill the day?
Well, I'll watch the cats starve.
And I'll scrape up some scraps for my own dinner. Maybe I'll have 'possum stew.
And I think I'll try to finally transfer some of my old piano tapes to mp3. If I'm successful I'll post some on this blog.
Be sure to let me know if tomorrow is going to be another holiday.
Oh drat!!!
ReplyDelete....On the bright side (for what it's worth?), I LIKE your new profile picture!
Thank God!! Somebody finally likes it. Thanks!! It's a fairly recent one.
DeleteWell dear. if it makes you feel any better tomorrow is National Bootleggers Day.
ReplyDeleteNow that's a holiday that I can handle....
Delete...but here in the TN boonies, EVERY day is Bootlegger's Day.
Jon, we're between International Thank-You Day (Jan 11) and Darwin Day (Feb 12) --didn't know about Bootlegger Day-- but still, the rest of this month should be clear.
ReplyDeleteDarwin Day??!!?? Good Lord! (oops, I shouldn't have brought the Lord into it).
DeleteI can tolerate Valentine's Day, because I love the candy.
Whatever happened to President's Day?
You try living in spain, they have a holiday if the pope farts
ReplyDeletePope Fart Day sounds rather intriguing.
DeleteOMG - your town doesn't even have an ATM? By the way I was the one who spoke about earthquake-preparedness a while ago. Boy, we are all quite different in our reactions to reserves. I'm surrounded by ATMs within a couple of miles all points. North, south, East and West from where I live but I have stash cash points squirrelled throughout (luckily) quite a small house. I should remind my sisters of that for them to note for some distant time in the future.....I have food reserves, hell my reserves have reserves! I laughed so hard when I read this post.....really, and then John's comment about a farting Pope. Sorry, you are suffering but especially for your felines. Not for me to tell an intelligent bloke like yourself
ReplyDeleteIt's time to change those habits but what do you think? Sorry it made me laugh....well, maybe I'm not. Hope it gets better soon. MaggieB
I lived in California for 30 years and was never prepared for earthquakes. I used to have a stash of cash - until I moved to Texas and lost just about everything (it's a looong story).
DeleteI generally keep a good supply of food, but I always run out of milk, bread, and eggs.
And I NEVER seem to have enough cat food or litter.
By the way, I'm always glad when I make people laugh.
DeleteVery generous of you to say that. I think a combination of the pop-popping Pontiff and our own Lone Concerto Jon raging....just tickled my funny bone.
DeleteHow about yeast, flour.....don't know anything about other then fresh eggs via hens and a cockerel.....what do you think. Maybe that will blemish your sophisticated image.
I didn't realize it was a holiday, either. These kind of holidays are mainly for the banks and post offices. :( Sorry. Hope you find something for the kitties to munch on.
ReplyDeleteIt's a good thing I found out it was a holiday before I drove into town. That would have been far worse. I'll prepare for the rain tomorrow and try again....
DeleteMost people get off on six Holidays per year. On the people feeding at the public trough have off for all sorts of holidays. If I did not have off and get paid for it, it is no holiday for me.
ReplyDeleteHeck, I should get paid just for making the perilous drive into town....
DeleteI laughed out loud through this entry of yours. I have tried and tried to get a list of the blogs I read on my own blog to send others here, but I was trying to change things a long time ago, lost a bunch of stuff, and decided I'd better quit messing with stuff or I'd lose everything. Today I decided to try once again to add blog links, but nope. No dice.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Donna - I can always count on you. If I can make someone laugh when I'm in a rotten mood - just imagine how funny I am when I'm in a good mood.
DeleteThe following week is loaded with FUN holidays. National Peking Duck Day, National Popcorn Day, National CHEESE LOVERS Day, National Hugging Day, National Handwriting Day, etc, etc. You better check in advance to see if businesses are closed before you venture out again. Personally I'd hold out for National Customer Service Day, where everybody is supposed to be nice to the customer and do their job effectively. PS) I like the photo too. Though the one with the kitty and hat was charming when you had it up briefly.
ReplyDeleteI'll definitely take Cheese Day and Popcorn Day. I'm hoping for a Pizza Day. National Customer Service Day should be mandatory every day of the year.
DeleteThe cat in the top hat was cuter than me....perhaps some day I'll bring him back.
Hi Jon: Well, out of the frying pan of one blog, into the fire of another. :-)
ReplyDeleteI know you live in bumfuck TN or something like it. I recall hearing that a supermarket chain, maybe Sam's or Whoremart, was going to start online grocery shopping AND delivery. There probably isn't one of these stores near you and if there is, it probably won't deliver to bumfuck. If you have a bankcard, why couldn't you use it at the checkout? It'll pull right out of your checking account. You could write a check if you have a store card. Maybe such conveniences do not exist, yet, in bumfuck. I hate to think of you and the kittahs and opossum without food. Maybe your loyal readers could organize an airlift and drop?
As for the holidays, our working forefathers (cue patriotic music here) fought and were brutalized and died at the hands of hired thugs like the Pinkerton's and the Coal and Iron Police. They and their families died needless deaths working in horrible conditions for paltry wages. Here in the old anthracite region of NEPA, I still know people whose father's body was dropped on their porch after a fatal mine accident. Where I work in the candy mines, we get 11 paid holidays. I also get 10 paid sick/personal days + 2 wks vacation. I work with the port of NY. The ILA gets its union president's birthday off. His name is Gleason. When I first saw it I said "wow, they get Jackie Gleason's birthday off". They get Lincoln's bday and President's Day off in Feb. Did you know China shuts down for 3 weeks for Chinese New Year starting at the end of January? Muslim countries, particularly Indonesia, close down for two weeks in August for Ramadan. Indonesia does it to avoid violence. Europe goes on vacation in August. Thailand celebrates the King's birthday in December. Just pointing out that there are celebrated holidays the world over. I'm not arguing that we in the US get more or less of them, just saying that there are holidays everywhere. Imagine what it's like trading with Israel? Oy vey. I work in import/export so it's important to my job to know about holidays and shutdowns, anything that would cause a delay in deliveries etc. Here's a list of upcoming holidays:
02/20 -Pres Day
04/14 - Good Freitag
05/29 -Memorial Day
07/04 - obvious
09/04 - Labor Day
11/23, 11/24 - Thanksgiving Yeah!!!!
12/22, 12/25 - Xmas
I hope you can get to the store soon!
Luv Ya,
carlnepa
Wow - I'm impressed. You should get some sort of compensation for your comment. I don't have a bankcard but it's a good idea (I'm fairly certain they exist in TN). An airlift drop would be a perfect way to deliver where I live. Or else a sled with a team of huskies.
DeleteI know nothing about foreign holidays, so I appreciate the information. I did know about Ramadan, however.
Perhaps I'd feel a little better if all our holidays didn't fall on Monday. And if I didn't have to drive 100 miles to get to town (slight exaggeration).
I luv ya right back!
Jon,
ReplyDeleteAgain we agree! I too am fed up with all these holidays. We have TOOO many of them! Every time you turn around there's another holiday. We too got caught on this one but not as bad as you did. Bill wanted told me on Monday "the mailman is late." I told him "No, it's another holiday." He said "Which one is it this time?" I told him MLK. Now I think MLK was an inspiration figure and we do live in a politically correct time which it was time for a black holiday. The question was is it George Washington Carver or Martin Luther King. What's next, a holiday for Harvey Milk? And I'm gay but come on, we DON'T need another national holiday. We have enough already. Believe me I can understand your frustration.
Ron