Wednesday, December 6, 2017

ALARMING HOLIDAY CUISINE

The Joy of Blogging, Rule #86
"If all else fails, try visuals".

I dug into the sticky dregs of my visual archives and extracted a delectable array of holiday food to whet your appetite - and inspire your creativity.


Hot dog and raw bacon Nativity
with Chinese noodles

Roasted Weenie Christmas Tree

 Holiday Vegetable Loaf
with raw tomatoes, radishes, and broccoli

Leftover turkey in a brown Jello ring.

Cranberry Candle Salad

 Vegetable Surprise
Holiday Gelatin Mold

 You can't go wrong
with black mince pie and
charred Christmas pudding.

Canned Vegetable Medley

Olive-embellished cheese balls

.....and the piece de resistance...
Stuffed Porker!
But wait -
no holiday meal would be complete without home-baked desserts.


Holiday Cookies!



Fruit Cake!

Gingerbread Houses

And there's no better way to enrich a holiday family gathering than with a Christmas Surprise:


 If you disliked this post, you're really going to hate my other blog - which I've just "re-opened" after a long hiatus. 
Check out some vintage Christmas ads:
Cabinet of Curious Treasures 




20 comments:

  1. What's truly frightening is that so many of the pictures aren't made in jest. I recognize those type of ads and recipes from "women's" magazines back in the 50-60's. Heck, maybe even the 70's. I am thankful that my mother never succumbed to the temptation of making any of them.

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    1. I'm stunned at some of those old recipes that were prevalent in woman's magazines back then. My Mom always collected a lot of those recipes but (thankfully) very seldom made them. I still have a big box of old recipe clips from magazines and newspapers and it's fun to look through them.

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  2. These look like the recipes that the ladies' magazines were full of in the 50s and early 60s. They seemed to be trying to outdo each other in "unique" recipes--LOL! Housewives were bored and had lots of new appliances and do-dads--and there were lots of new magazines, too, I believe--competition. So funny!
    Will check out your other blog. :)

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    1. Somehow I miss those "good ol' days" before the advent of the Internet. Housewives did rely a lot on magazines and those newfangled appliances. So many of those old ads and recipes were unintentionally funny.

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  3. Now THESE are hysterical!!! Actually, the first two and the olive cheese ball look yummy. (But I might draw the line at eating Baby Jesus.) Dang, Jon. Where was this post when I was trying to create a holiday wreath for the office?

    I think the cranberry candle salad would be fun to make ... yes, I still enjoy playing with my food.

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    1. Hurry up, Myra! You might still have time to make a holiday wreath out of raw bacon and hot dogs. Of course, in the hot climate where you live it would rot long before Christmas.

      I LOVE cheese and olives - - but that bizarre cheese ball freaked me out. Those olives look like eyes...

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  4. these were funny and mostly disgusting.

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    1. I had some that were even worse, but decided to restrain myself...

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  5. All of those culinary creations....and not one made from spam. Excuse me now, I may need to go take a a few spoons of Milk of Magnesia.

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    1. Ironically, I had some spam creations but decided not to use them because they weren't holiday-related. My favorite is the Spam casserole with lima beans.

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  6. Jon, I love the Nativity Scene composed of weenie-heads. But further down, oh my, that poor pig looks hurt real bad.

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  7. Jeez, I don't know why, but suddenly, I'm not hungry...

    However, the raw bacon and hot dog nativity would be a swell gift for a dog. :)

    The rest? Yuk! Especially that brown jello ring. But hey! To someone, that may be the height of great cuisine.

    That "I'm gay" cake reminded me of our daughter. As a joke, she sent me an email maybe twenty years ago that sent me to a page where she showed a red rose and the confession, "Mom, I'm gay." To say I was stunned would be an understatement. Al;l I could think of was all of the hardships she'd have to face. I asked my hubby if he'd gotten something similar from her, and he hadn't. We talked about it, and then I sent her an email, saying we loved her and would always be there for her. To this day, she brags about our reaction.

    PSSST! Happy birthday, cowboy! (Almost there...) I trust you'll treat yourself to food MUCH better than what's in these pictures.

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  8. Geo and Susan -
    The "reply" thingie is no longer working on my blog, so I casn't reply individually to your comments.
    Geo - the picture of that stuffed porker could easily turn me into a vegetarian.
    Susan - It's a good thing you didn't pass out when you received that email from your daughter. Your positive response shows what a tolerant and unconditionally loving person you are.
    Birthday? What birthday?? I stopped counting when I hit 50 - - and that was about 75 years ago....

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    1. Oh, by the way -
      you guys said that the contraption on my other blog is a DOUCHE BAG????
      Heck, I didn't know. I'm just an innocent country boy.

      *smile*

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  9. Hi Jon , still around ... just been super busy for awhile now. I can't imagine anyone actually eating any of those unappetizing creations. Anything with its head left on like that roasted piglet would seriously make me hurl.

    I haven't been getting any of those email notifications on when you post. It just quit sending them. Dunno, must have got the boot.

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  10. Helga, I figured that you were probably busy - especially with the upcoming holidays. Glad to know that you're all right (and hopefully not snowed in).
    The roasted pig is really disgusting - especially with that horrible stuffing handing out!!

    Those Blogger email notifications are never reliable. I've had lots of trouble with them in the past.

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  11. I can tell none of those recipes came out of Gordon Ramsey's cook book & the sweets didn't come out of great British baking show!

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    1. I love the Great British Baking Show (or whatever it's called). I watch it online via PBS.

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  12. And to think I almost missed this delightful post Damn computer. I do like the cheese ball and the pig makes me sick.

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    1. I like cheese balls, too, but all those olive "eyes" scared me!

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