GRIM REALITY CHECK

While making the infuriatingly endless drive into town yesterday, I suddenly had the urge to end it all by deliberately plunging over a cliff.

The only thing that stopped me was the knowledge of my life-long persistent streak of bad luck.
I wouldn't instantly die.
I'd break my neck, arms, and legs....and live. 
My nose would be broken, my front teeth knocked out.
And I wouldn't be rescued for a week or two because no one would see my car.

I'm not a pessimist. I'm a realist.

I chose yesterday for my excursion to town because it was the first day that the temperature soared above freezing. I think it was 33 degrees (Fahrenheit, for those of you in New Delhi). 

There were impressive displays of icicles on the shadowy cliffs along the way, but unfortunately I didn't bring a camera.
The header photo on this post was taken when I first moved here. It pales in comparison with yesterday's icicles but at least it gives you some idea.

My visit to town was remarkably uneventful this time - except for the annoying fact that all the shelves and items in the supermarket were inexplicably rearranged - which completely confounded me and compelled me to waste precious time looking for things. 

I never did find the pancake mix, or jams and jellies, or canned chili, or - most important - flour tortillas. I can't exist without my burritos.
And - NO, I wasn't in the mood to hunt down a store employee and beg for assistance. 

The biggest shock of the century came when I  got home and made the perilous trek to get my mail.

When I (very reluctantly) opened this month's utility bill, it was the closest I ever came to dying of shock.
Last month the bill was so high that I didn't know how I would pay it.

This month - the bill TRIPLED!!!
I was so astounded that I kept trying to focus my myopic eyes, thinking that I was seeing double (...or triple...).

In all honesty, my frugality would rival that of Scrooge. Despite the INTENSE cold in this wretched house, I only put the heat on when absolutely necessary.
Even when the temperature recently dropped below zero, I only used the heat sporadically.

I use the lights sparingly, with 40 watt bulbs. I no longer have a television. The washer and dryer are only used once a week.
So how can the frickin' utility bill skyrocket to the moon??

To make matters worse, my water bill doubled.
I attribute this to having to keep the faucets running during frigid temperatures so the pipes won't freeze.

Sure, it's winter. And winter is generally cold. But I innocently assumed that Tennessee was a relatively mild southern state. If I ever knew it had six-month winters with penguins and ice floes, I would have reconsidered my move. 

Not to mention that the cost of living is higher here than it was in rural Texas.

There's no chance that I'll be putting the heat on again any time soon. No matter how cold it gets.
And the idea of getting a wood-burning stove is not particularly pleasing. Sounds simple, but in reality they're a helluva lot of trouble to maintain.

So - -
here I sit, wearing four layers of clothing....and a bathrobe. My fingers are so numb with icy cold that I can hardly type. I'm grimly contemplating my surroundings:

perpetual frigidity, intense dampness,  mud, and weeds.....rain, sleet, dreariness....
...wild animals nesting in the roof and under the house....
did I mention mud?

Mice scurrying across the floor in the middle of the night.
Three frickin' cats - and they can't catch one damn mouse. Perhaps I should get a dog.

Am I bitching too much? Heck, I'm in a good mood. You should see me when I'm pissed.

I have much more to write but this is getting annoyingly long.
Next time.

Many thanks for your comments. I usually like to reply to them, but I'm presently so overwhelmed with other things that I can't.
And I'm presently wasting a LOT of time trying to fix my printer. It worked fine - until I needed it.