The only thing worse than a frequent blogger is a frequent blogger who's a chronic complainer.
I'm not talking about myself, of course.
I complained about my lousy Friday the 13th.
Then I wrote an excessively long post about getting stuck in the mud on Saturday night.
(sure it was long - but it was delightfully long).
Tonight I'm writing about my rotten Monday. Frozen Monday. Frigid Monday. It was so friggin' cold that it would have shocked Shackleton.
Naturally I had to drive into town. By the time I was ready to leave, the frigid temperature dropped and the icy rain turned into snow flurries, accompanied by a miserable icy wind.
Halfway to town I got a migraine headache. I always get aura migraines, which seriously affect my vision - with bright flashes, zigzag lines, and frightening blind spots.
Imagine me alone driving on a winding mountain road with ice and snow pelting the windshield, and a blinding migraine.
The migraine was still plaguing me when I got to the bank (in town), but by the time I arrived at Walmart it was slightly better.
I had to pee really bad. When I got to the restroom, the door was blocked and the janitors were cleaning it.
At this point I said "To hell with everything! I'll hold the piss until I get home!"
And that's exactly what I did. I must have an extraordinary bladder.
About the only good thing is that I found some reasonably priced mailboxes in Walmart, and I'll probably buy one the next time I go there (see my previous post for an explanation).
The weather is supposed to "warm up" later in the week, but I won't hold my breath. I'm thoroughly disgusted with these mid-April freezes.
Next to autumn, spring is my favorite season - but there wasn't ONE surviving blossom this year. They all perished because of the endless frosts.
Well, that's enough complaining for now.
On the bright side (he says with bitter sarcasm):
I'm presently doing some online (tediously annoying) work to earn some extra money.
I'm also in the process of opening a second Zazzle store - which will be more interesting, organized, and unique than my first one is.
And I'm still working on my Hollywood memoirs which - hopefully - will be completed before I drop dead from my exhausting life here in the wilderness.
Believe me, writing about my chaotic, reckless, bizarre, unconventional, disgustingly salacious past isn't easy.
But it will (hopefully) be a good read.
It should warm up. Even way up here we are finally supposed to hit the 50s by Thursday! At least for a while, anyways. Bound to blow some warmer air your way pretty soon, too. :)
ReplyDelete(Although the Twin Cities got over 20 inches of snow this past week in one dump! Spring is unpredictable everywhere, I think.)
I've been spoiled by California and Texas, where April is always almost like summer. I've never experienced an April this cold - but I suppose snow flurries is better than 20 inches of snow (WOW!!!).
DeleteIt's supposed to be much warmer tomorrow (Wednesday). I'm cautiously hopeful.
This spring has been anything but spring so far. Brrr ! It's been awful in so many parts of North America. I suppose at some point a blistering heat wave will arrive ... not looking forward to that either.
ReplyDeleteI'm certain your Hollywood memoirs would be fascinating to read. Keep plugging away so we can buy a copy. Stay warm and keep out of the mud ;-)
I honestly thought Tennessee would be more mild than this. After all, it's not a northern state. What annoys me the most is that all the beautiful blossoms have died.
DeleteI'm discovering that it's more difficult to write about myself in a book than it is in a blog. There are so many wild things I did in my youth that I'd never dream of doing now.
I've never suffered a migraine, but your description was plenty frightening. I'm looking forward to seeing your next Zazzle shop ... which reminds me, I need to revisit Catnip Cabaret.
ReplyDeleteMostly, I'm looking forward to your memoirs. Heck. If Jackie Collins could survive her THINLY-disguised characters ... and thrive while doing so, I've much faith in you, Jon.
I've heard that many more women get migraines than men. My mother got frequent aura migraines, so I must have inherited it from her. I think this recent one was caused by stress - and the sudden change in temperature (from warm to frigid cold). Driving on a mountain road is the WORST possible time to get one.
DeleteI'm keeping Catnip Cabaret open, of course, but I think my second store will be much better. It will have a contrasting variety of unusual things (from religious to the macabre).
The biggest fear about my memoir is that I'll get sued. I'm going to have to change names and be rather subtle when writing about some people.
I also worry that I will come across as looking bad. I was no angel, by any stretch of the imagination. But I was definitely colorful...
Glad you survived the mountain migraine ride. they are horrific headaches to be sure. looking forward to your memoirs.
ReplyDeleteI think the perilous drive to town would give anybody a migraine, but this was the first time it happened to me while driving. And it was unnerving, to say the least. There was nowhere to pull over and stop.
DeleteJon, as a sufferer of migraines myself --barometrically induced-- I applaud your toughness in continuing to town. My customary response is to go to bed and move as little as possible, getting up only for aspirin and strong espresso. I used to have to work through them when I was younger and took frequent breaks for digestive upheavals. Life should be easier. Is anybody working on this?
ReplyDeleteMy mother often said that her migraines were barometrically induced. There's nothing worse than getting one when you're driving - especially on a mountain road with icy rain and snow flurries.
DeleteIf life ever became easier, I would undoubtedly perish from the shock.
It seems there is no pleasing Mother Nature lately. Someone must have pissed her off royally...I have never seen her so fickle.
ReplyDelete