It's going to be a frigid week. That's the Big Prediction. Icebergs, indeed.
Right now, in mid-afternoon, it's 18 degrees Fahrenheit. That probably doesn't seem very cold to those of you in Nome, but for temperate Tennessee it's downright freezing. Especially if you live in a drafty, poorly-insulated house.
Despite being in a rotten mood and feeling like I died three weeks ago, I forced myself to drive to town yesterday. It was a rare mild day - before the cold front blew in.
I finally got milk (which I forgot to buy the last time I was in town). And I got enough supplies to keep me cozy and well-fed for the next few weeks.
I noticed that the stores were out of numerous things that I needed - which seems to happen quite often in this minuscule town.
Walmart has been out of my cat's favorite food (Purina Complete) for the past month. I had to substitute a mishmash of other brands, including Friskies - which they hate.
I also finally bought...
drumroll here for effect
a new cell phone!
I didn't bother to activate it yet. I'm simply not in an activation mood.
I was shocked at the high prices on the cell phones with all the bells and whistles.
I'm not a bell and whistle type person.
"Smart" phones scare (and annoy) me.
I have friends who brag about the incredible capabilities of their smart phones.
Jon, you've GOT to get a smart phone!
I have a Super Smart Alexander Graham Bell Double Entendre Deluxe Luminary Dingleberry Piston 3095 -
with golden fintails and flashing flares.
It monitors my sleep-cycle, wakes me at dawn, turns on the water in my shower and sets it to 75 degrees, reads me the news headlines while I'm eating breakfast, starts the car engine before I'm out the door, and it monitors the weather all day and immediately alerts me of a temperature change or a fluxtuation in the forecast.
It walks my dogs, retrieves and sorts my mail, stores every photo I've taken since 1956, is capable of reading over 100,000 books to me, plays five million games, sings bedtime lullabies to my kids, does my taxes, and - when set on "warm-up mode" - initiates foreplay before I have sex with my wife.
So what kind of phone did you buy, Jon?
Heck. I have a three dollar Tracfone.
I can make calls from half a mile away.
And I can send texts, on clear days, during months that begin with the letter "B".
I'll consider getting a smart phone when it cleans the cat's litter boxes and drives to town to get my groceries.
Okay - it's not funny....but you can't say I didn't try.
It is suppose to get real cold here too. I made sure I'm stocked up on candles. I'm not a tech person either. I can when I want to be though. I do have a basic smartphone, but the reason is it takes incredible pictures, almost even better then my digital camera. I just hope when we get old enough they will wipe our asses too.
ReplyDeleteStay warm down there friend!
ReplyDeleteHowdy neighbor!
In case you're wondering who's been snooping in your archives, it's Me, Wanda. I too live in good old Tennessee, somewhere in the Cumberland plateau.
Lol...I thought I was the only person left in the state of Tennessee who still uses a Tracfone!
Stay warm neighbor.
Re (among other gems}: "...months that begin with the letter 'B'." made me laugh out loud here at nearly midnight after a whole day of panic attacks. Yes, I suffer from GAD --decidedly I suffer--some days more than others. Norma made me promise to call my dr. tomorrow, but reading jokes about life and cell phones (I've had a little brick-like Nokia for 15 years which I use when the car needs towing) has brightened my evening immeasurably. I couldn't turn in without telling you how much I enjoyed this post.
ReplyDeleteI have an ancient smart phone which is very good at making phone calls. What else would I do with it. Glad to hear you went shopping, that's something I really must try. Just to cheer you up, I HAVE SNOW. Sod it, I'm staying home!
ReplyDeleteYep! I'm chuckling about those Mensa-worthy smart phones. I'll admit to loving mine (for everything except speaking and listening), but it's furthering my mental decline. Like Alexa, I'll ask it to spell something so I don't have to look it up. Tom used to say he had a smart phone - smart enough to make and receive calls.
ReplyDeleteHappy to hear you made it to town and back without incident!
I have used Chewy on line for pet supplies when I haven’t been able to get the stuff at the pet store. It’s always been free shipping and it comes right to the door. It’s proved to be asatisfactory alternative.
ReplyDeleteI thought it was funny! ;)
ReplyDeleteThat sounds positively frigid for Tennessee!!
Made me giggle
ReplyDeletelaughing about the smart phone. glad you finally got to town to buy some milk.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you when it comes to smart phones. I don't trust gadgets that are smarter than I am. Matter of fact, I don't have any kind of cellphone, and that suits me just fine.
ReplyDelete