FIFTEEN MEDIOCRE QUESTIONS WITH FIFTEEN MARVELOUS ANSWERS

Since I feel lethargic and completely unproductive tonight, I've decided to waste my time answering these  questions from Sunday Stealing
(if the link doesn't work, I really don't care)


1. Name three things you love about yourself.
Since I'm not a narcissist, I've never loved things about myself. In fact, I've spent much of the duration of my existence hating things about myself...... until I suddenly realized (too late, perhaps) that I have a helluva lot of good qualities. I appreciate my artistic talents (music, writing, etc.) and my wit.
 
2. What’s the bravest thing you ever did?
You mean like rescuing an infant from a burning house....or running outside stark naked on a drunken dare?

(incidentally, I've never rescued an infant - - but I DID go out naked on a drunken dare. And I was really drunk)
I think the "bravest" thing I ever did was manage to get through this tainted web called "life"..... thus far.
 

3. Talk about the craziest night of your life.
Are you kidding? Only ONE night??
I could easily fill a book with crazy nights in my life. But there are many that I'd prefer not to remember....

I do recall that night (long ago) in Hollywood, behind the Circus of Books bookstore. I was in a black Cadillac with someone who was quite well-known...and we were in a very compromising "position".
The cops came. In a drunken panic, I hopped out of the car, scaled a nearby fence and RAN like hell. I never got caught.

I also remember the night I was in the notorious Drake Theater in Hollywood when the place got raided.
The Drake is no longer in existence. Thank God. 

These are mild incidents. I'll save the rest for my memoirs.
 
4. Name three things you want in life
Well, it's too late for happiness or wealth.
And my health is lately going down the toilet.

But I'll say peace, reasonable health, and emotional satisfaction.
 

5. Who’s your biggest celebrity crush?
Hey, I haven't had a celebrity crush since Greta Garbo made Flesh and the Devil. But that's beside the point.

Let's move on to the world of music.
I have long been in love with the Russian opera singer Anna Netrebko. I'd marry her in a minute (..but she's already married...)
And the ballet dancer Diana Vishneva.

Want me to go AC/DC?

I used to have a huge crush on Vladimir Malakhov. Smitten by his intense charm. 

Why all of the Russians, Jon?
Is this some sort of a collusion?? 
 
6. What’s your most common mistake?
During a lifetime, or during one day?

My mistakes during a lifetime are multitudinous and profound.
I have mistakenly trusted people who stabbed me in the back (I have scars to prove it...).
But, my biggest mistake is having the habit of being far too nice. I'm not nearly as assertive as I should be.
 
7. Which three things would you save if there was a fire?
Me and my two cats.

The most treasured possessions that I ever owned were my diaries and journals...and the vast collection of piano music that belonged to my mother and grandmother. ALL were lost (or stolen) when I moved to Tennessee.
After that loss, I no longer give a shit.

If I sound bitter - - I am.



8. What’s your favourite sport?
Judging by the way you spelled "favorite", I should probably say cricket.

I used to be a HUGE baseball fan, until they ruined everything by adding new teams and extending the season almost 'till Christmas.
I don't give a royal crap about the Colorado Rockies....or the New Jersey Mosquitoes.  

9. Talk about something good that recently happened to you.
Are you kidding? I haven't had anything good happen to me since Pink Floyd gave a concert at the L.A.Coliseum.
I suppose the best thing that happened to me lately is that nothing extremely bad has happened. 
 
10. Which fictional world would you want to live in if you could?
I'm not into fictional fantasy stuff. I have enough trouble existing in the real world.
 
11. What’s one thing you can never say no to?
You mean besides sex?
Hmmmm. Let me think.
Pizza. Chocolate mint ice cream. Darjeeling tea.  Apricot jam. 
Good books. Old movies. Grand opera. Ballet. 


12. Talk about a childhood memory.
When I was a very small child - maybe three or perhaps four - I had a nervous habit of twisting my hair with my finger.
My father got so mad that he dragged me to a barber shop, slammed me down in the chair, and told the barber:
"Cut ALL of his hair off!"

The son of a bitch did.
Within five horrifying minutes I was bald as an egg. I looked like a miniature Nikita Khrushchev.
My parents made me get a crew cut until I was in third grade.

The horrible hairless era of my early life made me obsessed with hair. That's why I later defiantly  let my hair grow shaggy and unkempt. 
 
13. Name five things you find attractive in others.
I don't think I've ever found five things attractive in one person. I am always smitten by charm, wit, and personality.

14. Are you good at making final decisions or do you easily change your mind?
I always take my sweet time deciding things - especially if they're financial. I seldom change my mind.
 
15. Name three guilty pleasures of yours.
I seldom feel guilty about pleasures - - but some of the pleasures that come to mind couldn't be discussed on a public blog.

What are we talking about? 
Like having two ice cream cones....or an extra piece of cake? Or spiking my tea with Southern Comfort? 

There comes a point in life when pleasures are pitifully few.......and guilt ceases to exist....