In the robotic world of the internet where impersonal email prevails, it's refreshing to know that snail mail still exists. Receiving actual hand-written mail is a welcomed conformation of reality.
I want to thank all the people who took the time to send me cards. Your thoughtfulness has truly overwhelmed me and brightened my day. Delivery here in the hospital is slow, so there's a chance that all your mail hasn't been received.
Thanks to Myra G., Dorothy P., Elizabeth A., Big Daddy Dave, Josephine, Barbara R., Liz S., Ron T., Linda T., Kimberly K., Bijoux, Elizabeth H., Rita M., and of course everyone who left comments on my blog.
I only wish my extended stay in the hospital was as pleasant as your messages. I'm presently going through absolute hell. There are no words to aptly describe my nightmarish journey. Every day is filled with agony, complications, and eternal worries that multiply rapidly. I feign strength and optimism but truthfully I'm losing every semblance of courage. I'm presently on chemo, radiation, and anti-biotics - which is grueling to say the least.
To be brutally blunt, when I first arrived here in Cookeville in June, the doctors said that if the malignant tumor grows the nearby artery will burst with fatal results. When they sent me to the Nashville clinic in July, the doctors said there was no hope.
I returned to Cookeville where I have been receiving rigorous treatments. After about 35 rounds of radiation ( I lost count) my final one will be on Friday the 4th.
The eternal bleeding has subsided and I've been told that the tumor is shrinking and will continue to regress after the chemo and radiation. Later I might require immunotherapy. I'm presently too exhausted to reveal any more details. There might be hope......I've lost a lot of weight and all my strength is sapped. My worries about going home and the future are multitudinous.
Change of subject
All of my photo files are on my computer. Here on my cell phone I only have a few photos, some of which I will share.
My cat Bosco. He's nine years old and has been lonely since my other two cats passed away. He's presently staying with my cousin Nancy and seems to be very content.
I purchased a stuffed animal that I saw online and had it sent to my cousin. The toy looks exactly like Bosco and he seems to be smitten with it. Nancy sent this photo of Bosco, sleeping with his new friend.
Here are some views from my Cookeville hospital window. Very poor quality taken from my cell phone.
I'm glad the greetings are reaching you as a small bright place in your current situation.
ReplyDeleteThe greetings did help brighten my day immensely. Thanks, Boud
DeleteKeep on keeping on. There's of course no advice that anyone can give you. I do wish that your healing continues. Maybe that will help your feelings of dismay. Loved photos of Bosco (great name!)
ReplyDeleteThe outcome of my ordeal seems much more positive now. I originally named him Rosco, but I decided Bosco was more appropriate.
DeleteThank you for sharing the pics of Bosco, I am glad that the tumor is shrinking. I sent you a card out on Monday. I hope you get it soon!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Kim. The mail is usually slow in getting here. I'll look forward to your card. The doctors are more optimistic now, which is positive news. I think the photo of Bosco with new toy is sweet. It made me smile.
DeleteI hope you and the kitties are well.
Sweet Bosco, he seems to love his new friend. Hopefully it won't be too much longer and you will be able to return home and continue your healing uninterrupted.
ReplyDeleteYour prognosis sounds more positive Jon, I'm hoping for that miracle.
Hang in there friend.
~Jo
Bosco is enjoying his summer vacation. I hope he remembers me *smile*
DeleteMy prognosis is indeed more positive, but I'm still apprehensive - which has always been part of my pessimistic nature
I always appreciate hearing from you,Jo
The tumor shrinking is a very good sign, perhaps it will be operable soon.
ReplyDeleteReturning home would be a very good thing, and I hope you can do it soon. I believe you will.
Take care, keep up the optimism, even if it's not there internally. As a retired medico, I firmly believe that it's a very effective treatment, if hard to maintain.
Believe in yourself, you deserve to get well soon.
Mike
Thank you so much for the encouragement at a time when I really need it. I'm admittedly apprehensive about many things, but I feel more positive with the progress.
ReplyDeleteI'm worried about feeling so weak and worn out, but I suppose that's normal.
Jon, with radiation and chemo tx, it's impressive you still have the energy to blog and respond. Keep up nutrition, rest, it'll get better eventually.
DeleteHaving journeyed twice through Tom's cancers, I can attest (that) doctors rarely show their hands; for obvious reasons, they don't want to give people false hope. The fact they've said it's shrinking -- and will continue to regress -- is huge! Sending Bosco that little buddy is such a sweet gesture; I'm delighted he likes it.
ReplyDeleteKeep fighting, please.
Myra it seems like I'be been fighting one thing after another my whole life - but this by far is the most trying battle of all.
ReplyDeleteI am admittedly intimidated by the somber, mysterious persona of doctors, but I was surprised (shocked) at the positive results of the chemo and radiation. There's still a long journey ahead which I will try to conquer.
My cousin Nancy says Bosco is so loving and cuddly.
The tumor is shrinking!! Hurray!! That is fantastic news!!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you are almost done with the radiation treatments.
My doctors didn't say much at all about prognosis the entire time. Even as the tumors were shrinking--it was like a skeptical "well, that's good"--like they didn't expect the shrinking to continue. (They didn't.) You can surprise them all, Jon. :) :)
You said you have already had many times when you could have died in your wild and crazy and sometimes horrendous life. Me, too. There must be a reason we are still here, right?! :)
From what I know, immunotherapy is at least usually less often than the chemo or radiation has been. Hopefully it will be. Let us know how you're doing.
Glad Bosco likes the gift you sent. :)
Rita - my doctors initially didn't say anything about the prognosis,either - which was very frustrating. One doctor finally told me the positive news a few days ago. Most of my previous information came from the head nurse in radiation. Immunotherapy is a later possibility that can be done at home
DeleteI often think about you and what you've gone through. We both had wild, crazy lives and it's a miracle we're still here. Thanks for your comment.
Rita I got your card today Aug 7th. Many thanks!
DeleteSo happy to know that you have received not only my card and note, but those of many other caring fellow bloggers😀. There is certainly nothing like getting some snail-mail by way of a card, note or both even when you are not incapacitated. And, I sincerely hope that you will be getting more in the days to come to life your spirits. Thanks for the updates, as grim as they can be to read, but good to read that today, 8/4, is the last bout of radiation and that the tumor appeared to be shrinking. Excuse me for being blunt, but I hope that you never return to your TN wilderness home and perhaps can join Bosco at your cousin's place. He seems to be quite content, especially with the new "friend" you so thoughtfully provided. You both need a change of habitat, my friend.
ReplyDeleteHi Dorothy - it's refreshing to know that people like yourself still enjoy writing snail mail communications, which seem to be a lost art. And it's satisfying to receive real handwritten mail.
ReplyDeleteI am admittedly more optimistic about my plight, even though I have a long way to go. They have extended my radiation therapy until August 9th.
I would still like to my rural home. Being alone in the wilderness is a challenge, but I was doing very well until this tumor destroyed my life and took my strength. Hopefully I can eventually get my health back.
My cousin Nancy is unfortunately dealing with other problems. Her granddaughter recently came to live with her. She is half blind and came from an abusive situation. It's a long story.
The nurses are here so I'll stop writing for now.
Agreed, Jon, that snail-mail correspondence has becoming obsolete in so many ways thanks to emails, texting and the USPS ever-rising postage costs. Gone are the days when folks would send post cards from their travels, now they just text a selfie! Glad to know cards, notes, letters are still appreciated!
DeleteThanks for the updates on your treatments. I too hope you get your strength back, but remain doubtful that living in such a rural location, as you have described it so many times, is the best. However, that is definitely your decision in the future. Sorry to learn about the challenges your cousin is also dealing with now. She sounds like a very caring person.
Excuse typos
ReplyDeleteJon, So nice to see you blogging again even if it is under grueling conditions for you. I have a good feeling that soon this phase of your "journey" will end and you will soon be back home at your palatial mansion in the mountains of western Tennessee. One can only imagine who has taken up residence in your manse.
ReplyDeleteIt's extremely difficult blogging on a cell phone but I like to give updates. I am admittedly worried about what woodland creatures are inhabiting my rural abode
DeleteHi Jon,
ReplyDeleteHope you are beginning to see improvement and feel better. I hope to check in soon to read that you are soon going home. Thoughts and prayers,
Cheryle
Thank you for your kind thoughts and prayers. I just got to rehab but it's going to be long and grueling
DeleteIn regards to your next post oh shit!!! And I just posted a card in the mail to the Cooksville hospital! Do take good care and I hope the rehab goes well for you. Usually they're more attentive in rehabs. Keep us posted when you can Jon and hang in there.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for your concern - it really means a lot to me. Perhaps they will forward your card to me. In my next update I'll give my current address Hugs.
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