DAY FROM HELL

Before I get to the hell part, I have some preliminaries to contend with.

Wicked weather is heading for Tennessee, with a winter storm arriving Sunday night. Snow, possibly 4 or 5 inches, is expected next week with frigid temperatures. By Tuesday night the temps could be below zero.

My apprehension is immense. If there is a power outage (which happens often) I'm finished. I'll never survive. Everything in this house is powered by electricity. I had a fireplace when I lived in Texas. Here, I have a few candles and some ancient matches.

To compound my apprehension, I've been running very low on food and supplies.

So, a few days ago I decided to order supplies before the Arctic blast arrives. My things were supposed to be delivered on Friday, but the delivery was delayed due to rain (rain??). The delivery was rescheduled for Saturday.

The fact that it was going to be a FedEx delivery really had me worried. They are notorious for delivering packages to the wrong address. This happened to me at least a dozen previous times. 

I provided them with detailed delivery instructions, filed complaints, and called them and talked to robots......but NOTHING works. They constantly deliver my stuff to a house where nobody lives. The man who owns the property only goes there once or twice a month. If he finds packages, he'll bring them to me, but it might not be for weeks.

On Saturday (yesterday) I got a message that my packages were all delivered to my front porch(about six boxes).

I hobbled outside with my walker and - - of course - - no packages were there. The remote possibility was that the items might have been left by my car near the garage. That has happened before.

Since there's no one around to help me, and despite the fact that I'm half dead and can't walk........

.......I (foolishly) decided to venture out and look for myself. I knew it was a HUGE risk, but I had no choice.

I didn't want to attempt to go down the front porch steps, so I opted to go out the back door. This house is built on a hill. The front porch is six feet off the ground. The back porch is level with the ground.

I was certain that no matter which way I went, there would be a potential disaster. But I embarked anyway.

There was no possible way that I could use my walker, so I figured I'd court danger and use a cane.

The back porch doesn't have steps. It just has two cement blocks that I put there long ago. That leads to a long, muddy path to the garage.

Me and my cane made it to the cement blocks. As soon as I put one wobbly foot forward to step on the muddy path, I completely lost my balance and fell on my back with astounding force.

I hit my head on the edge of the porch, hit my back on the cement blocks, and my twisted legs were tangled in vines and covered in mud. Worst of all I was nearly paralyzed. I couldn't move my legs at all. I still have edema and they are swollen and stiff.

There was no way I could move. I didn't have my cell phone. If I screamed only the coyotes would hear me. It was 27 degrees (Fahrenheit) and the afternoon was waning. I was only wearing a sweatshirt and thin sweatpants.

I tried every way possible to move but couldn't. My entire body was in pain. I knew I couldn't stay there or I'd freeze to death. When it got dark there was a risk of coyotes, wild dogs, wild hogs, and snakes.

If I stayed there I'd be doomed. I summoned all the strength I had and managed to use my elbows to drag my wretched body across the porch to the back door.

This was no consolation. There was no way possible that I could stand up - - and I couldn't reach the doorknob. During that moment of panic, I suddenly saw that I lost both my shoes while I was dragging myself.

In a moment of bitter irony, my mind flashed with the thought that I survived six months in the hospital and rehab - - - and now I was going to die on the back porch.

In complete desperation I kept clawing at the door and reaching farther and farther until my fingers touched the door knob. After many many tries, I finally got the door to open.

I was so cold and exhausted that I could hardly move and had to pull myself with my arms inch by inch. It took at least fifteen minutes to get across the kitchen floor. The back door was still wide open. There was no way to close it.

Being back in the house didn't help me at all. I could hardly move. There was no way to stand up. I grasped at everything in reach. My shoeless feet kept slipping on the floor.

I dragged myself to the kitchen table and desperately tried to hold onto a chair, but the chair fell over on me. There was a nearby bench where I kept my landline phone. I grabbed the cord and pulled it to the floor.

But who the hell could I call? The home healthcare office was closed for the weekend. I didn't want another ambulance. I was in ambulances at least a dozen times since last summer. I'd never call the police. They are last ones I'd ever want to get involved with.

As I laid helpless on the floor, I kept looking at the wide open back door - - wondering what I'd do when it got dark. Would I freeze or be eaten by.......wolves?

This dire scenario inspired me to hoist my wretched body up with my arms on the toppled chair. I managed to stand and grab my nearby walker!

When I saw the clock I realized that it was way over two hours since I fell. I was thankful that I didn't make an emergency phone call.

This post is annoyingly long, but I can't fully convey the panic I felt at being completely helpless.

So how am I now?

My entire body aches. My left knee and arms are extremely painful. My neck and head hurt and I have a headache. I can hardly creep around in my walker.

I don't have enough food or supplies, thanks to FedEx.

I'm absolutely dreading the winter storm that is arriving tonight.

I'm tired. Excruciatingly tired.

I'm weary from the agonizing uphill journey and wish it would end.

.......but perhaps I'll survive.......

With love, Jon