THIS IS NOW

Since many of my well - intentioned readers prefer to hear about my mundane every day life, rather than the fantastic adventures I had when I lived in Hollywood......

I will comply with your request.

I said "well - intentioned" to be polite.

Don't take me too seriously. I like to derive confidence through the sarcastic written word. In reality I'm a sweetheart. A very insecure sweetheart.

Let's start with the innocuous things first. I'll get into the rotten stuff later.

About two weeks ago (?)

At around midnight I stepped outside on the front porch. I was only out for about two minutes. When I went back inside I was horrified..........(the dots are intended to increase tension)

to discover that a bird flew into the house! Birds build nests all around the front porch. I must have frightened this one from his (her) nest.

I tried to scoot him (her) to the front door, but he was bewildered and confused. I couldn't catch him. So.....I turned out all the lights and went to bed.

I got up at the crack of dawn. My feathered friend was in the kitchen window, desperately trying to get out. I opened the back door and he (she) flew out!

Happy ending.

I've heard an old adage that a bird in the house will bring good luck.

Take a deep breath. We're getting to the rotten part.

The next day I got one of my mysterious fevers. My temperature was over 102. I get them every few weeks and no one can figure out why.

The next night I was in the kitchen, feeling so rotten that I thought I was going to croak.

Suddenly there was a very loud bang (KAPOW!!!), like an explosion - - and instantly there was the unmistakable sound of rushing water.

Holy crap! A broken pipe!

I immediately turned off the main water valve in the house and the rushing sound stopped.

Abject terror inspired me to call the water department in the morning and had them turn off the main meter - just to be safe.

So, by this time my temperature was nearly 103. I had no water to drink and no money for a plumber.

I immediately went online and ordered a case of bottled water.

Wouldn't you know it? My shipment was delayed in transit and wouldn't get delivered for over a week!

In desperation, I tried my old faithful Walmart online. They could deliver French sparkling water in one day.

So the next day Maison Perrier arrived. It was really refreshing.

The case of water that I initially ordered is still delayed.

Today (Monday, I think) I got a visit from a homecare nurse. Usually I get the female nurses - Amanda, Becky, Misty, Sandra, Claire. They're all good. Dusty, the male nurse, came today and I was glad. He has a knack for getting things done quickly. He's going to try to get someone to look at the pipes under my house.

Anyway......

Before all this crap happened, I had optimistic plans to "redo" my small (very small) kitchen. I planned to resurface the floor, then use floor paint and a clear sealer (I did this in one room of my Texas house and it looked really nice).

I also wanted to buy a cabinet for the new air fryer oven. I already bought a new refrigerator.

I'm keeping the old one for now  because the freezer still works perfectly.

The new refrigerator is a smaller size, but I don't need a gigantic one.

BTW

I was very apprehensive about FedEx delivering a refrigerator, since they sometimes have trouble delivering a box of crackers.

I was absolutely stunned, shocked, gasping in disbelief when I discovered that they brought the refrigerator right up to my front door!!!

Despite being half - dead and hardly able to walk, I managed to drag the 100 lb. refrigerator into the house and maneuver it into the kitchen.

This was rather difficult, because the front part of the house is on a lower level than the back part where the kitchen is. It was unnerving trying to push 100 lbs. up to the kitchen - but I succeeded.

Well, was that more exciting than my Hollywood tales?

Probably. I can make anything sound exciting *smile*

Luv ya, Jon