If I ever told you a fraction of what I really went through these past two weeks you would be stunned.
Two weeks of agonizing pain which is so excruciating that I'm unable to stand. Intensified by edema so severe that I'm unable to lift my legs.
Two weeks of being forced to sleep in my wheelchair because I'm unable to move.
Eating crackers and peanut butter as my main meal. Enduring profusely bleeding "bed" sores on my ass because I'm sitting too long. I could tell you things FAR FAR worse.
On Thanksgiving I became completely unhinged. I was hysterical - - screaming and begging God to take my life. I didn't want it anymore. No more......
I'm not always as brave as you think.
The weather has turned freezing. A daytime high of 32 degrees (Fahrenheit). 18 degrees at night. Couldn't come at a worse time.
Today (Friday) I forced myself to call for an ambulance at 5:00 a.m. Went to the ER at Livingston Hospital. Hours of torture and humiliation. And PAIN.
My problem isn't just a back ache or a bout of sciatica. I have a complex mixture of several serious issues with my spine, pelvis, and degenerated disc disease.
The result of my ER adventure?
I'm back in the wheelchair at home. In pain. With another prescription, which I can't fill until next week.
This is just a haphazard update. I won't write a "real" blog post until I calm down and think rationally.
If that ever happens.
I tried to write a positive Thanksgiving post but scrapped it.
Thanksgiving in the realms of hell??
No way!
Jon, unhinged but here
So sorry, this is hard even to read, let alone endure.
ReplyDeleteMy journey has always been a tough one - - but I've always endured with dignity. My dignity is waning - - but I'll keep fighting!
DeleteThanks, Liz.
Sorry to read about this latest bout of pain, Jon. It also made me wonder why you were discharged because you are alone at home...and in such pain.
ReplyDeleteLivingston is the closest hospital, but definitely not my favorite. There were several times when they discharged me very early, which shocked the home care nurses.
DeleteWell, I'm very disgusted but not willing to give up.....
From your horrendous description of the situation, it sounds like malpractice discharging you home by yourself. If you have bleeding bed sores....they can become septic. The peripheral edema and pain on a 10 scale...being 20, should be enough to get you admitted. This is just a train wreck on the medical front. Hopefully the home care nurses can intervene for you. So sorry to hear all this. It makes me sad and very angry with the health care system, which I worked in for 4 decades. I know our health care system is broken, but...just wow.
ReplyDeleteParanormal John
Long ago I used to boast that I hadn't seen a doctor in thirty years. I never thought it would come to this.
DeleteLivingston is convenient only because it's 20 miles away. I don't like much of the staff...or doctors. (they act like "why the hell are you back?)
As for my butt sores....very painful but I apply antibiotic cream and fresh medical pads every day.
The health care system is definitely flawed....
but I keep plodding on....
Do you have air pillows (donuts we call them) to sit on. Some are gel filled. They help relieve pressure on the buttocks. Also periodically sit from side to side and lift yourself if you're able to help get the pressure off. I've had to deal with some horrendous bed sores (decubitus) and I sure don't want you to go there. If you don't have those items, the home health nurses can secure them for you. Good luck, Jon.
DeleteParanormal John
I remember in the hospital when the nurses would give me pillows to put under my butt to shift from side to side. I do that in my own bed- - but of course it's impossible in a wheelchair. I'll try the air or gel pillows.
DeleteThanks, John.
Sounds dreadful! I can't believe they discharged you. And why wouldn't they have sent you home with a filled prescription for your medications at least?! Good Lord! Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteRita, they've discharged me too early on several previous occasions - - which infuriated the home health people. Believe me I'd NEVER go to an ER unless I desperately needed it.
DeleteFrustrations galore
but I'm hanging in there....
You are really tough. I would have given up long ago. I could not/would not put up with all of that.
ReplyDeleteI've been through so many difficult and traumatic things in my life, that I'm just used to it. I never really considered myself being tough, but I guess I am. I just keep pushing forward.....even though it's exhausting.
DeleteJust saw a video by a woman who cured her sciatic nerve pain with a dose of vitamin E from kale. Interesting. Apparently, she had a deficiency. Her story is at the channel Beeta Bug on youtube. The title is "Such Blessed Relief." It was posted Thanksgiving Day. I thought of you when I saw it. God bless you and keep you, Jon.
ReplyDeleteJon, I was so hoping your pain had eased, I cannot believe the trials and tribulations you have endured.
ReplyDeleteCan you get your regular MD to address your ongoing sciatica and pain, surely they can do better.
Our first freeze last night, and more to come, stay warm and don't forget to leave those faucets dripping.
Hugs,
Jo
Stunned and incredibly saddened! Lifting prayers for intervention and relief NOW.
ReplyDelete