Positive and negative Christmases, that is. I initially thought this was the worst Christmas of my life - - but there was one long ago that was far worse. I'll dare to tell. Later.
I felt absolutely rotten this Christmas - - with my back pain, hip pain, spinal pain, leg pain, and severe edema.
I couldn't cook anything. Managed to get a piece of bread and some cheese out of the refrigerator. Christmas dinner.
The nurses urged (begged) me to go to the ER. Finally acquiesced. Livingston Hospital. Again.
I don't want to go through the whole routine. I was plied intravenously with 100 mgs. of furosemide (made me pee for four hours). Blood tests, xrays, heart tests (whatever). Blood work and xrays were good.
Sent home with a lasix (furosemide) prescription.
At home - - late late Xmas night - - I managed to get into the kitchen. Made coffee and breakfast burritos.
Merry Christmas.
Wanna hear about my very worse Christmas? Prepare yourselves for the shock.
Long ago, in my mid teens. A small town in California.
Explosive situation with my parents going on for weeks. Unbearable stress. I became very sick. High fever. Enormous congestion.
The fighting, violence, abuse, insanity. My father was truly possessed beyond the realms of hell.
On Christmas Eve he packed up all his things, withdrew every penny from the bank.....and left us flat.
The night was beyond hell. My fever rose to 104. I could hardly breathe.
Midnight. The phone rings.
My father, calling from Las Vegas. Hopelessly drunk. Laughing that the prostitutes were too expensive.
My mother was a dignified woman. Never cursed. Always first class.
But this time - - I distinctly heard her say...
"I hope that son of a bitch gets killed in a car accident!"
The next morning. Christmas morning. I was taken to the ER. I don't know what hospital.
Fever 104. I had pneumonia.
Someone - I don't think he was a doctor - asked if I was allergic to penicillin.
I didn't know. That's what I said.
They gave me a shot.
I immediately went into anaphylactic shock. Horrific situation. Later, I learned that I was unconcious for nearly half an hour.
It took a long time for me to recover from that Christmas - - more mentally than physically.
What more will I ever dare to say? I'm not lamenting about my past. I'm being honest - - and I could be a helluva lot more brutal.
Merry Christmas?
BTW my father returned days after this escapade. I was terrified to see him.....the road ahead would be a rocky one.
Jon, with tainted memories
Oh Jon, what a horrible Christmas you had years ago with your father. It's a shame that anyone let alone a child has to go through that horrific experience. Hearing about your experience makes me realize how lucky I was not to have a father like that. My father just didn't care. I never remember him even being around at Christmas. I guess he was there, somewhere. He was "detached." Again, I hope things go better for you in the New Year Jon.
ReplyDeleteRon
Yes, you're fortunate that your father wasn't violent. My father was often detached but also persistently violent. The psychologic wounds I sustained were far worse than the physical ones. It's not easy to describe.
DeleteI'm so sorry to hear you landed back in the ER, Jon. Glad you went, however, to prevent a possible catastrophic event. I don't recall hearing about your near-death experience before or what demons possessed your father. I'm just enormously grateful your pluck and/or inner strength got you through it ... and by God's grace continues to do so.
ReplyDeleteI think stress can cause more emotional and physical damage than anything else. My entire life was a stressful roller coster ride. In retrospect, I am truly astonished that I survived.
DeleteI learned to roll with the punches - - with the merciful help of God's grace.
And that shot of penicillin almost took my life. To this very day I am terrified of getting shots.
Praying for you, Jon, for healing now and for healing from all these memories. You have endured and persevered. I don't know how other than that the Lord has never left you.
ReplyDeleteI've lately been doing a lot of thinking about my past. I've survived horrible things that almost seem beyond belief.
DeleteThis couldn't have happened without God's mercy and strength. It was my only salvation.
He is faithful.
Delete