Positive and negative Christmases, that is. I initially thought this was the worst Christmas of my life - - but there was one long ago that was far worse. I'll dare to tell. Later.
I felt absolutely rotten this Christmas - - with my back pain, hip pain, spinal pain, leg pain, and severe edema.
I couldn't cook anything. Managed to get a piece of bread and some cheese out of the refrigerator. Christmas dinner.
The nurses urged (begged) me to go to the ER. Finally acquiesced. Livingston Hospital. Again.
I don't want to go through the whole routine. I was plied intravenously with 100 mgs. of furosemide (made me pee for four hours). Blood tests, xrays, heart tests (whatever). Blood work and xrays were good.
Sent home with a lasix (furosemide) prescription.
At home - - late late Xmas night - - I managed to get into the kitchen. Made coffee and breakfast burritos.
Merry Christmas.
Wanna hear about my very worse Christmas? Prepare yourselves for the shock.
Long ago, in my mid teens. A small town in California.
Explosive situation with my parents going on for weeks. Unbearable stress. I became very sick. High fever. Enormous congestion.
The fighting, violence, abuse, insanity. My father was truly possessed beyond the realms of hell.
On Christmas Eve he packed up all his things, withdrew every penny from the bank.....and left us flat.
The night was beyond hell. My fever rose to 104. I could hardly breathe.
Midnight. The phone rings.
My father, calling from Las Vegas. Hopelessly drunk. Laughing that the prostitutes were too expensive.
My mother was a dignified woman. Never cursed. Always first class.
But this time - - I distinctly heard her say...
"I hope that son of a bitch gets killed in a car accident!"
The next morning. Christmas morning. I was taken to the ER. I don't know what hospital.
Fever 104. I had pneumonia.
Someone - I don't think he was a doctor - asked if I was allergic to penicillin.
I didn't know. That's what I said.
They gave me a shot.
I immediately went into anaphylactic shock. Horrific situation. Later, I learned that I was unconcious for nearly half an hour.
It took a long time for me to recover from that Christmas - - more mentally than physically.
What more will I ever dare to say? I'm not lamenting about my past. I'm being honest - - and I could be a helluva lot more brutal.
Merry Christmas?
BTW my father returned days after this escapade. I was terrified to see him.....the road ahead would be a rocky one.
Jon, with tainted memories
Oh Jon, what a horrible Christmas you had years ago with your father. It's a shame that anyone let alone a child has to go through that horrific experience. Hearing about your experience makes me realize how lucky I was not to have a father like that. My father just didn't care. I never remember him even being around at Christmas. I guess he was there, somewhere. He was "detached." Again, I hope things go better for you in the New Year Jon.
ReplyDeleteRon
Yes, you're fortunate that your father wasn't violent. My father was often detached but also persistently violent. The psychologic wounds I sustained were far worse than the physical ones. It's not easy to describe.
DeleteI'm so sorry to hear you landed back in the ER, Jon. Glad you went, however, to prevent a possible catastrophic event. I don't recall hearing about your near-death experience before or what demons possessed your father. I'm just enormously grateful your pluck and/or inner strength got you through it ... and by God's grace continues to do so.
ReplyDeleteI think stress can cause more emotional and physical damage than anything else. My entire life was a stressful roller coster ride. In retrospect, I am truly astonished that I survived.
DeleteI learned to roll with the punches - - with the merciful help of God's grace.
And that shot of penicillin almost took my life. To this very day I am terrified of getting shots.
Praying for you, Jon, for healing now and for healing from all these memories. You have endured and persevered. I don't know how other than that the Lord has never left you.
ReplyDeleteI've lately been doing a lot of thinking about my past. I've survived horrible things that almost seem beyond belief.
DeleteThis couldn't have happened without God's mercy and strength. It was my only salvation.
He is faithful.
DeleteMy son, Dagan, went into anaphylactic shock over sulfa medication. It is a terrifying thing,
ReplyDeleteIt's maybe a silver lining that your dad wasn't there and it was just you and your mom over that crisis.
You have not been meant to leave this earth yet...many times over. :)
Anaphylactic shock is really horrifying and many don't survive. Dagan was blessed for certain.
DeleteA cat has nine lives. I probably have nineteen. Heaven knows why....
Stress is the number one cause of physical ailments, no doubt. In the old days you were lucky if you made it to 60.
ReplyDeleteI too am allergic to penicillin, as the doctor said, no more of that ! When I had a reaction as a toddler.
We have no choice but to hang on, life is too precious despite its bs, obstacles, detours and disease. I like to believe God works in mysterious ways.
-Rj
Discovering you have a penicillin allergy is a rude awakening.
DeleteStress can single-handedly destroy people. It's difficult to hang on, but our only hope.
Mysterious ways, indeed.
Hi Jon, I hope you get to feeling better! Would physical therapy help you walk again? I’m glad your nurses advocate for you. Hospital food isn’t the greatest, maybe you could have a pizza delivered to your room in the hospital and eat your desserts.Your life stories make me sad for you and your beloved Mother! I don’t know how y’all got through a day with that psychopath, narcissist? I wish I could rescue the young Jon and your Mom through the hell he put you through! I went through 25 years of therapy to forgive a family member. Basically I let go of the angst and truly forgave. It was freeing for me. I never spoke of it to her again. Gabrielle
ReplyDeleteI will never understand WHY and HOW a parent or any other member of a family could do such evil things to their own. It took me a long time to come to the reality that there is NO SUCH THING as a PERFECT family!! I know that mine certainly wasn't!
ReplyDeleteI can't get into it, but I also have demons yet to exercise although I am trying hard to get past them for my own sanity.
I hope you get home soon!!!
I will never understand WHY and HOW a parent or any other member of a family could do such evil things to their own. It took me a long time to come to the reality that there is NO SUCH THING as a PERFECT family!! I know that mine certainly wasn't!
DeleteI can't get into it, but I also have demons yet to exercise although I am trying hard to get past them for my own sanity.
I hope you get home soon!!!
Always, Kim