No illuminations concerning me. I am shrouded in mysteries that baffle the limit of my suppositions.
I don't have a clue what's transpiring here at Signature Health Care. I have nurses here and Hospice nurses who come here. I don't know who the doctors are.
I don't know what the motive is for me being here, ever since my insurance dropped my coverage for physical therapy. I drift through the useless days in a debilitating limbo.
I take the endless meds obediently. I submit to the daily routines. For what purpose? To linger on.........
Yesterday (Friday) a horror. I was having a (crappy humiliating) bed bath. Had to roll over so my back could be washed. Immediately, the "non-cyst" on my arm started hemorrhaging - - right through the bandages. Just about naked and soaked in blood.
Two nurses tried to stop it. They finally called in the guy who usually does my wound care. Is he a doctor or a nurse practitioner?
Don't ask me. I'm at the point where I don't know my own name.
Finally the bleeding slowed. A heckuva lot of bandages were wrapped tightly around my arm (upper arm near the shoulder).
Now I'm scared shitless, oops I mean witless to move my arm or do anything.
Where is the result for the biopsy ???? No answers. It's way after two weeks.
I have been through SO MUCH these past two years - - far more than most people could endure. Cancer, heart attacks, blood clots, severe spinal and back issues, edema, congestive heart failure.....
The Big Irony (capitalized for emphasis) is that I hadn't seen a doctor in thirty years. I knew I had heart trouble since I was twenty but didn't give a damn.
Guess I'm now making up for lost time. And paying for my sins.....which could make Satan blush.
So, has anything good happened lately?
I got my new Samsung tablet working. I never wanted a tablet, but now I'm glad I got it. I love it. I can watch movies on the eleven inch screen.
I ordered some things from Walmart - - including candy. I'm secretly pigging out with chocolate and jelly beans.
Today a kind nurse brought me food from Taco Bell. Don't know why.......? Anyway I loved it.
That's about all the news.
My latest AI creations are what I call Illuminations.
Why? Heck if I know.
Easter week is upon us. I'm in a spiritual mood.
I made about a dozen of these, all lovely. It was difficult to choose.
A traveler walking through the mountains.
Jon 💜 pondering illuminations
Thank you for continuing to write. It means a lot to many of us. I wish there were something we could do to help.
ReplyDeleteYour comments mean a lot to me. It's truly good to know that you care - - that's enough to help. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad to 'see' you on here, Jon ... even when the news is less than stellar. God bless that nurse who brought you the Taco Bell. Greasy carbs always make me happy. I hope your next WalMart order contains a chocolate bunny ... or several.
ReplyDeleteI'm beginning to think that the news will never be stellar. Hope is something I hang onto, but hardly believe.
DeleteAll of the nurses are nice here, but that one in particular always sympathizes for all I'm going through. When they were going to move me to a third room, she told me to refuse. She said "You have a right to stay where you are."
At this point, Taco Bell and chocolate bunnies are a feast.
Thanks, Myra.
What you have been gone through and continue to endure would have done in many others, Jon. Glad to read that the new tablet is providing entertainment as well as diversion in the midst of all the uncertainty.
ReplyDeleteI should have purchased the tablet long ago, but never thought about it. I really like it and it helps pass the time.
DeleteHope your leg/knee is getting better.
Glad to read that the tablet is working well for you, Jon. Thank you for asking my knee injury, which is so very minor by comparison to your ills. It is getting better with meds and rest, especially avoiding ghe gym and stairs😀
DeleteMay God bless anybody who is kind to you.
ReplyDeleteMost of the people here are really nice. I'm one of the favorites because I'm polite and congenial (most of the time....).
DeleteThanks, Donna.
Chocolate bunnies and Taco Bell can soften the blows of life. Sorry to hear about your hemorrhage experience with the biopsy site. Did you mention you were on anticoagulant therapy? You should be hearing about the results of the biopsy soon...I would think? Glad the tablet is serving you well. I don't understand why they're not more forthcoming with your future plans and their 'vagueness;' about it?? Keep asking! Kudos to the nurse who told you to 'stay put' in your room!! Hoping spring brings flowers and better news for you.
ReplyDeleteParanormal John
I'm really confused about what is in store for my future. I used to confide with one of my therapists but now I don't see her since my insurance co. dropped P.T.
DeleteI'm still getting blood thinners which I know is causing the bleeding. They're still giving it to me because I have possible blood clots.
I do have the option to drop Hospice and go home in the care of Quality Home Care nursing - which I'll DEFINITELY consider....but right now I'm not physically ready.
Lots of things to worry about....but at least I have my tablet and candy.
I am so glad you got that new tablet. You can even watch movies and videos! Nice!
ReplyDeleteI can't remember what testing Dagan had to have done regularly when he was on blood thinners for a while. Are they checking you? Do they tell you anything? Can you as to speak to an advocate or a social worker? You need to talk to someone who can find out answers to the questions you have. Bless that nurse who brought you Taco Bell! :)
If I didn't have my phone and tablet, I'd lose what's left of my mind. Right now I'm in limbo. I have no one to talk to. Only the nurses, for about two minutes. There's no testing for the blood thinners. Ever since I'm stuck with Hospice....I'm drifting alone....
DeleteI'm finally at the point that I don't care, and that scares the hell out of me.
Hi Jon, I know you’ve shared your email before. If you’re inclined to do so, I would appreciate it. I’m concerned about your care and this new hospice approach. Hospice makes you comfortable but stops treatment. How far are they going with this? Just one of your groupies. 😊 Keep creating and writing for us.
DeleteFor the very first time in my life, I feel that I've lost complete control. When my insurance stopped covering physical therapy at the end of March, I was forced into Hospice in order to stay here. I am completely clueless as to what my future holds. I don't want to be in Signature Health Care forever....and I despise Hospice. Everything about them is creepy and uncertain.
DeleteEmail
Jonvtenn@aol.com
Gabrielle Gengler
ReplyDelete