THE GOOD, BAD, AND....WHO KNOWS

The good?

Last Tuesday the weekly visit with the wound care doctor and her assistant. I was preparing for the worst. The tiny spot of skin cancer on my chest that I had for ten years, has nearly diminished, requiring no bandage.

The radiation wounds on my butt have diminished and had no drainage.

The monsterous "wound" on my upper arm didn't hemorrhage - - my hospital gown, sheets, and pillow case were all blood- free.

I was stunned. In a good way.

But.....

The bad?

late that evening, a new night nurse whom I never saw before, came in with my usual meds. She wasn't friendly and bore unnerving news. Bad results about my medical condition. She wasn't merciful and I wasn't pleased.

I'm so disgusted with bad news that I no longer care.

Enough.

My human emotions are spent. I drift through every day in a semi-vegative state, yearning for what was, dreading what will be.

Where are two of my cousins?

Sent a text to Nancy (lives here in TN) the other day. She usually answers within minutes. No response. Three days later, no response. Two mysterious check marks appeared next to my message. Means my message was sent but it wasn't read. 

Emailed my cousin Cookie (Elizabeth, lives in Florida). She usually responds in a day. A week has passed.

Have they....vanished?

I'm remembering - -

One August when I was nine. My mother and I left California to visit our (then many) relatives in New Jersey. Night flight, TWA.

Sometime soon the plane "malfunctioned" - - an engine blew out. Emergency, we crash landed in Denver. Late at night.

My mother was calm. I was too young to be scared. I remember the stewardess stayed with us. A young Norwegian woman.

Memories.

Here's a photo taken on our trip to New Jersey that summer, with some of my cousins on our grandmother's porch.

Upper row, Nancy (age 9) and her sister Patty (age11).

Lower row, Stephanie and Barbara (sisters, ages?), Cookie (Elizabeth, age 14), and Jon (age 9)

You've seen this before....but I luv reruns.

I'm still (carelessly) spending money because I have a surplus in the bank (see previous post).

This time - - wildlife figurines. Antiques. For some uncanny reason, I was completely intrigued by this one. "The Pursuit", a wolf chasing a squirrel. It's unique.

Of course, the squirrel gets away.

What? You think it's too unnerving?

You're a wimp. It's dramatic, unusual rural decor.

How about a mama wolf and her cubs? Porcelain.

Every one knows I've been making AI images (don't groan - - I can hear you).

Well, now I'm making AI videos! From real photographs, mostly of me, family, cats. I plan to put them together on one (long?) video.

These AI videos are only five seconds long (!!), just long enough to breathe life into a photo.

One five second AI video uses up 1,000 credits. Longer videos are available, but....probably zillions of credits.

It's easy to go stir crazy in a hospital bed.

Jon  🩵  deeply submerged