I'm not in the mood to write, or rehash my multitudinous woes - - but I suppose it's high time to enhance this long-abandoned blog with another post.
Besides, I don't get to use the word "multitudinous" very often.
Resurgence?
I'm back. The real me. Kinda like a faux resurrection.
Woes?
I got them (unfortunately).
My recent PETscan (April) revealed dismal results. I was truly agast when my new oncologist tried to list them all.
Some serious, others superficial - - unnerving, nevertheless.
He suggested that I most likely will need twenty radiation treatments.
Nothing new to me.
Nearly three years ago I had seven weeks of radiation.
Thirty-five treatments.
That's why every time I open my mouth, I can use it as a flashlight.
Ponder that. It will eventually get funny.
I have recently described this as "grueling". Here's why.
Radiation treatments aren't bad. It's totally painless and only lasts about 15 or 20 minutes. But you have to lay on an uncomfortable table and be perfectly still.
With my back and spinal woes, this can be absolute agony.
Grueling?
My treatments are in Cookeville Medical Center. I'm in Jamestown. Cookeville is an hour way. A two hour round trip. Early every morning, five days a week.
They pick me up before 7:00. Agony for a hardcore night owl.
Worst of all, I'm hauled away in an ambulance! The Signature transport bus is completely booked up with appointments.
The local ambulances are old and rickety (much like myself). The roads here are endlessly bumpy and constantly under construction. With the jolts and bumps I'm in absolute pain (yes, absolute). I'm nearly dead when we get there.
I am given pain pills every morning, but they don't help, except making me semi-sedated.
This now is my second week. Ten treatments. After that, there will very possibly be more.
And after after that, I'll need physical therapy for my legs and spine.
I can reveal plenty plenty more physical and mental woes.
I have much much more to say, but this annoyingly gloomy post is getting too long....and tedious.
Jon, endlessly resilient (perhaps)
❤️😺❤️
What? Hopefully, this dismal post didn't scare you.
It just goes on and on. I hate the pain you're in. And I certainly hope these treatments get you further on. Maybe you should be billing them for the light you're shedding, saves power, after all. Liz
ReplyDeleteIt is like I'm trapped in an endless episode of the Twilight Zone. I just keep fiercely plodding on. I should bill them for my saving power. Thanks, Liz!
DeleteThat sucks! I’m so sorry. Thank you for writing — you have more courage than I would have. ❤️
ReplyDeleteI never considered myself to be courageous - - but I forced myself to overcome the horror of my violent, abusive father. Then I was able to tackle very many bad things in life with determination. And I did it all alone. I never give up.
DeleteI hated to read this post. It makes you wonder when the cycle will end and you can be home again in your own home. I sure hope you have someone checking in on your house being let alone for so long? I just hope all this torture will be worth it. Life sucks sometimes...and as Bette Davis said, "Old age aint no place for sissies." I don't know I would have made it through all this , this far.
ReplyDeleteThere was a time when I boasted that I hadn't seen a doctor in 30 years. After I got cancer and a mild heart attack three years ago, I can't get away from doctors. The irony is profound.
DeleteThere's a social worker here named Sheila. She lives way out in the boonies where I do. She drives past my property every day, so she checks the place andd gets my mail.
This image touches me deeply! You remain in my thoughts and prayers, Jon.
ReplyDelete❤️
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DeleteAnd on it goes. Ain't that life? Damn. I wish you the best, Jon. I hope the radiation treatments go quickly and you keep your sense of humor. A challenge, I know. I was listening to some Wagner opera today (Lohengrin) and thought about you. Thankfully
ReplyDeletethe social worker is keeping an eye on your property. That's a plus amongst several minuses. We'll take all the pluses we can get these days! Keep on keeping on, Jon.
Paranormal John
I had always wondered if Radiation Treatments were painful, I'm glad to hear that at least they are not, except for the discomfort of the Procedure's Table. I wonder why they can't make it comfortable? And Bad Roads are hard when you're already in Pain, The Man can't take a bumpy Ride anymore but there's not much you can avoid on a Public Road that is just neglected infrastructure. So sorry to hear the Treatments are so far away and so numerous to endure. Hopefully they will provide some beneficial results tho'.
ReplyDeleteWhile it was good news to read that the radiation treatments are not bad, the trip you described getting to and from them is terrible, Jon.
ReplyDeleteI have a PET-SCAN scheduled for June 9th. My first. This to check the indicated return of my prostate cancer which I first had treated in 2013 but seems to have returned with a vengeance (according to my rapidly increasing PSA score). I have decided NOT to receive radiation and hormone treatments, although that is what my urologist was prepared to do to "get you a few more years" (his quote). I watched my younger brother go through three years of grueling treatment for his lymphoma only to die cancer free but of organ failure. I watched Bill die of vascular something or other (on his death certificate) and multiple other ailments that a 95 year old man accrues. I'm 84 and not going down that route. Delaware has a right to die law now (as of January 1st). When I receive the prognosis that I have less than six months to live, I'm taking advantage of that new law and leaving this life with my dignity and quality of life about the same as it is now. I feel myself now even slipping faster (I'm exhausted all the time and my days are getting shorter for being able to stay awake). I'm coming to the end of the road of this life Jon. I'm ready and thankful that I can do it on my own terms. No more experimenting on my with "new treatments" and "to get me a few more years" (at what cost to quality of life? Strangely enough, I feel very at peace with my decision. No one will miss me except Pat and he has always lived alone. I'm just thankful that I didn't die before Bill. I know Bill is waiting for me in Heaven and I'm ready to go Home.
ReplyDeleteRon