PSYCHOTIC SATURDAY

I've noticed that the current Blogger trend is to have weekly "theme" days, such as Flashback Friday or Sermonette Sunday. This inspires a sense of unification in the blogging community and allows bloggers to have something specific to write about.

Since I (unfortunately) don't identify with most of these saccharine blogosphere niceties, it seems only reasonable that I should incorporate specific days into my blog which reflect my own circumstances and personality.
Such as 

Manic Depressive Monday
Unbearably Worrisome Wednesday
Frantic Anxiety-Ridden Friday
and 
Suicidal Sunday.

Since my current blog readership is waning drastically, I figured I'd begin by incorporating Psychotic Saturday - just to attract readers and enchant them with the possibility of positive vibes.

Jon, you're infinitely intriguing and intolerably talented. You're presently living in the alarmingly delightful beauty of the Tennessee wilderness. You have two cats who adore you......and probably three or four blog readers who tolerate you.

What more could you possibly ask for? 

You should celebrate your charmed existence by immersing your blog with all the marvelous blessings that are bestowed upon you. 
Open up your heart and tell us how you're feeling right now.

Well, I'm feeling slightly warmer now that my furnace is finally fixed. Even though the repair costs nearly depleted my meager savings. 
Which means I'll be eating less and worrying more.

Despite the fixed furnace - - the clothes dryer still doesn't work. The microwave is broken. I'm having plumbing problems. And about three dozen other problems that I won't bother to mention.

The squirrels and 'possums are still infiltrating the roof and crawlspace of the house - - ripping everything to shreds and greatly contributing to my
unrelenting insomnia.

My brand new cell phone is completely worthless. I can make calls - but can't text!
Every time I try to text I get a No Network Coverage message.
Go figure.

I've saved the best for last.
My car won't start.
I won't reveal the multitudinous details - it would be too long and painful. But the feeling of being isolated in the wilderness with no mode of transportation or escape is slightly unnerving.
Especially at 3:00 a.m. when the wolves howl.

More about this later.

On the bright side,
I had initially planned on doing a spontaneous, free-style interpretative Irish jig in honor of St. Patrick's Day.
But then I realized that I'm not Irish....

......and with my high blood pressure, bad back, tricky knee, sporadic vertigo, irregular heart palpitations, and monumental panic attacks .....doing spontaneous jigs of any nationality might not be a good idea.

But, just for the hell of it, I'll wear something green on St. Patrick's Day -  which ironically falls on Suicidal Sunday.