Do you have regrets?
Some people claim that they don't have any regrets at all. This might be true - - but I tend to think that they're either lying or have faulty memories.
My life has been filled beyond capacity with regrets - more than I'd ever want to remember.
I've squandered golden opportunities due to my fear of success. I've wasted an enormous amount of precious time that can never be retrieved. I've allowed opportunists to take full advantage of my passivity and low self-esteem.
I've made outrageously bad business deals. I've often been cruel. insolent, and thoughtless due to my selfishness. I've handled bad relationships with deplorable immaturity- - and I've terminated fantastic relationships due to my intense fear of commitment.
The mistakes that I've made are multitudinous.
Without a doubt, the biggest regret that I have is the vast number of times I've moved. During my lifetime I have been nothing more than a displaced (or misplaced?) gypsy.
When I was a child, my parents moved numerous times. I went to seven different schools in ten years. As soon as I made friends and got used to school, we'd move and I'd have to start the process all over again.
As an adult, my constant moves eventually destroyed me. I was raised in California and it was the best place I ever lived, but through the years it was changing drastically. The paradise that I once knew was turning into a literal hell. I saw the handwriting on the wall and made a quick exit before it was too late.
Once I left California, I never felt comfortable in any place that I lived. I absolutely despised the enormous culture shock that I experienced in the Missouri Ozarks, in West Texas, and here in Tennessee. I never felt at home in any of these places. I never felt like I "belonged". I was a complete stranger in hostile territory. Always an outsider........
Well, hell, it's too late to complain about it now.
Strangely enough, I have absolutely NO regrets whatsoever about the reckless, perverted, promiscuous, dangerous lifestyle I had in my youth. I'm glad that I experienced so many outrageously unique and wild adventures. I offer no apologies.
I know that my wicked ways shocked my relatives and deeply disappointed some people, but I don't care. I never claimed to be a saint - - and truthfully, I never wanted to be one.
If there's one thing I learned during this mercilessly cruel bitch of a life, it's that goodness and honesty will get you absolutely nowhere.
I also learned that you should never underestimate your self-worth.
There are a helluva lot of other people just waiting to do it for you.
Well, I've probably said enough.
Even though I haven't even scratched the surface.
Cheers, Jon
Who doesn't have regrets? I have but wouldn't go back and change a thing. Like Mae West said...Why bother resisting regrets and temptation, There'll always be more."
ReplyDelete90% of my life experiences have combined to make one gigantic Regret. Only in the last few years have I learned to like the person I see looking back in the mirror.
ReplyDeletePeople are lying about regrets. Possibly. Or maybe I fall in the "I don't remember" camp. All of my failures I would not call "regrets" Rather... Course Corrections... To prevent me from making a really BAD mistake had I gone down that path. ( my career as a School teacher comes to mind.) With that outlook, your failings don't look so bad! Nice to know there are other people out there who do not apologize for living life to most of its fullest. Mistakes and regrets are part of the process.
ReplyDeleteHi Jon..I also have regrets, but it's too late to change my life now. All I can do is live the life I made for myself, such as it is. Think of you often and although I seldom comment, I read every post. Take care of you.
ReplyDeleteRegrets? MANY indeed!! Only in my case, they are mostly about my wild and reckless days! However, I did my very best to learn from my mistakes (sometimes I was successful, sometimes not), and since I can not undo them, I live with them - trying not to beat myself too badly. After all, we were not born to be PERFECT!
ReplyDeleteSure, I too have regrets, Jon, who doesn't? Some of my life choices have led to better things, others times, I wonder about what could have been done differently. Not sure if I would change anything because as has been said the grass isn't always greener, and there's a lot of weeds. From what you've shared in your posts, you've done and experienced more than most people and I always appreciate your candor.
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