I honestly don't know why I'm updating, since I don't have much to say - - but that never stops me. I'm still writing on my cell phone. I have to use my text keyboard, which means I have to type each word ONE letter at a time with one finger. It's an eternal agony.
I received all your cards here at rehab and I cherish every one. So many caring people really touches my heart.
UPDATE
I'm still here in the same room - - - with the same 82 yr old roommate from hell (see previous post). He's one of the most disgusting persons I ever encountered. But I'm learning tolerance, forgiveness - and learning how to SCREAM silently....
He coughs, chokes, sneezes, and sputters all day and night. At 2:00am he wakes me up YELLING in a harsh penetrating voice:
HELP!!! I pissed my bed!!
Screaming until the nurses come.
At 3:00am he wakes me yelling:
HELP!!! I shit my bed!!
I learned that he enjoys the attention he gets. Some of the nurses are tolerant. Others are much more stern.
His relatives visit every day and are caring and loving and he talks rationally with them. Yesterday, however, he failed a cognitive test. Didn't know what year it is (heck either do I). Didn't know what city we're in. Thought this month is January.
Well, enough about this.
What about me?
Not much of anything positive. On good days I feel like a living vegetable.
Having survived over two months of absolute torture in the Cookeville hospital. I'm fortunate to still be kicking. I still have my old spinal injuries to compound my agony. I'm EXTREMELY weak.During the past year or two I lost at least 30 pounds due to the endlessly bleeding tumor. I feel like a wet noodle.
The rehab workers here are really good. I did exercises in bed - then eventually managed to sit on the edge of the bed. Then managed to stand with help
For the past few days I went to the rehab gym room in a wheelchair. My first time up in months. I do excercizes there every day, and today they got me to walk several steps with the aide of a walker. VERY slow progress but it feels good.
I could reveal many more physical obstacles but don't want to scare you. And I'm not through with my cancer battle. Enough said for now.
I believe in God and have prayed fervently these past months. He's supposed to be loving and doesn't inflict punishment......
Well, boys and girls, He's punishing the jeeters out of me. I'm being punished for every sin I ever committed - and there were plenty. I'm thinking of my wild, reckless, unrelentingly dangerous youth.....
Excuse me, I'm merely thinking out loud. Just thinking.....
Have I said enough for now? I mostly write to keep busy and convince myself that I'm still alive. And it's comforting that you care and take time to read my posts. I really appreciate that.
I occasionally order things that I need from Wal-Mart. FedEx delivers to rehab!
I recently got slippers and some clothes. I had absolutely nothing. I got a transistor radio, flashlight, shaving stuff....and occasional snacks. Candy, peanuts. This week I ordered peanut butter. And ear plugs!!!
Change of Subject
Hurricane Idalia will hit Florida tomorrow. I have several relatives there. My cousin Cookie (Elizabeth). Also my cousin Nancy (here in TN) has a son in Florida and a sister there (my cousin Patty). I emailed Cookie this evening.
This post is too long and rambling. I'll be merciful and end now.
Love to all my blogger friends. Jon
Hi Jon, commenting from my tablet which labels me Anonymous and not Beatrice/Dorothy. First, thanks for the updates even if the roommate situation remains as dire as ever. Those earplugs and radio might help, especially if you play it loudly. When you said you ordered a transistor radio, it made me think back so many years ago to my first one, thanks for that memory. Good to know you can get deliveries there. Your progress may seem slow, but at least you are making some.
ReplyDeleteKeep hanging in there and your blogging friends will as well. Grenville and I are off on a “major” getaway as if this Friday, a late anniversary trip. I will try to check blog posts as time allows. Glad to know you have been receiving cards.
Hi, Dorothy - it's always good to hear from you. I'm surprised that transistor radios still exist. I got my first one when I was about 10. Remembering all those nostalgic songs from the 60s. I hope you and Grenville have a great trip. I always enjoy your posts - and thanks for the card.
DeleteAnd, hope that your FL family and friends will escape the wrath of Idalia as will our friends and family living there and bloggers too.
ReplyDeleteI certainly hope all our relatives and friends will survive the storm's wrath.
DeleteIt isn't too long at all, and very interesting. At least you have some people following your entries that care about you. In a way, we are your neighbors, peering across the fence wondering if you are OK. Obviously, you are not OK, or you wouldn't be where you are. That makes me sad. I hope somehow you can turn a corner and have a better quality of life.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Donna - I consider all my blogger friends to be my neighbors and I enjoy revealing glimpses of my life. It's a shame that I had to lose an entire summer while in the hospital. I thought of you enjoying your garden. I really miss seeing the outdoors. Take care.
DeleteI'm SO glad to hear from you, Jon! Not too long, at all. I can't imagine having to write a post on my phone's screen -- heck, I mess up sending a simple text to my son. I'm relieved to hear your rehab-ers are nice. My own experience has been the therapists are more akin to terrorists. Please let us know if there's anything we can do -- besides pray. (That's a given.)
ReplyDeleteEar plugs, yay!
Hi, Myra - fortunately my therapists are kind and understanding with me. They probably have pity because of my sorrowful plight. I dread every day but I won't give up easily. I'm glad I'm able to read blogs again. It takes my mind off of all the unpleasantness here. I need more than ear plugs.....but they help somewhat.
DeleteThanks for being there for moral support!
Since I can't visit in person, I'm happy to read at any length. I'm very pleased that you're relearning walking. It's very good for you to be vertical, even for a short tiring period. It sounds as if the earplugs are a great addition to your well-being! I do everything on line, blogging, everything, with one finger on an onscreen tiny keyboard, since I rarely use my ancient and glitchy laptop. It amuses me when people instruct readers to use their mouse for this and that!
ReplyDeleteI'm hoping your progress keeps up, even slowly is good.
It feels very strange when I'm vertical - - like walking on the moon. I'm glad that my long posts aren't boring. I think I'm getting used to typing with one finger.
DeleteThe earplugs help somewhat but they don't block out the loud yelling. Perhaps I need a large slingshot.
My progress is painfully slow, but at least I'm plodding forward.
Hi Jon… I come over everyday hoping we have a new blog from you. You’re posts are never too long, and those of us that love and care for you enjoy reading them. A roommate like that stinks- I’m sure figuratively and literally-(insert smile here)! Hopefully you’re getting better and will be able to get away from him more often. Take care Jon, you are in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteIt's really nice to know that you check for updates every day. I only wish I could write blog.posts like I used to - instead of these mundane posts concerning my health.
DeleteRight now, as I'm writing this, my roommate is yelling for HELP again. He truly inspires thoughts of murder *smile*. If nothing else, these.past few months have shown how strong I am....
Thanks, Louise!
Hi Jon, thank you for the update, I was hoping your room mate had returned home, but apparently not 😞
ReplyDeleteYou seem to be making progress albeit slowly, it will take time and you must stay with it.
Getting your strength back is vital.
Hoping that your family members are staying safe in Florida, it's such a mess.
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, as they say in my homeland "Keep calm and carry on"
Hugs,
Jo
I had high hopes that my hellish roommate would be sent home - but he's still here to compound my misery. My main objective is to gain some semblance of strength. Every small step helps.
DeleteI heard from my cousin Cookie in Florida. She wasn't effected by the hurricane very much. They only got heavy rain and winds. I think the worst is over for many residents.
It's always good to hear from you. - - thanks!
Hi, Jon! This is Jackie from CA. I always look for and read your posts, and they're never too long! As another said, since we can't visit in person it's good to read the long posts. I'm so glad that you are finally getting some medical treatment. You are making progress. I know that it seems slow now, but it will get better. You are in my prayers always.
ReplyDeleteJackie
Hi, Jackie - I always appreciate your visits to my blog. Lately I seem to have nothing but complaints - but at least I'm making slow progress. Two months in a hospital bed has reduced me to being nearly helpless, which is scary, but I'm determined to make some semblance of recovery. I will keep posting updates when I can
DeleteI hope you're doing well in good old Calif
Take care
I hope all your family in Florida will be okay.
ReplyDeleteEven if progress seems slow, it is still progress. I hope you keep improving and are able to walk okay on your own again soon. When we're in such terrible shape we have to take the small victories and celebrate them. I remember when I was so happy not to have to use the walker at home or the wheelchair when I went to the clinic or hospital. We take walking for granted. I hope you will be able to take it for granted most of the time again soon--lol! ;)
Hi, Rita - I always took walking for granted and never dreamed that I'd lose that ability. It's frightening to be completely helpless. I'm making slow progress - but as you said, we should celebrate the small victories.
DeleteI heard from my cousin Cookie today. She lives in St. Cloud, FL and said there was no damage. They only had heavy rain and wind. Hope everyone else is safe.
Hugs to you and Allie
Congratulations...er...on your..uh...weightloss. Trying to think of something positive to say. I don't believe sickness is a punishment from God. Good thing you got earplugs. What is up with your roomate? That sounds really strange. God bless you for putting up with him. If he is aware enough, you could bribe him with things you order from Walmart to keep him quiet. Ok, that was supposed to be funny. Are you laughing? I mean, you could bribe him really...
ReplyDeleteI was mostly jesting about the punishment from God
DeleteThe earplugs don't help very much when my roommate is yelling. I doubt if I could bribe him, because his relatives bring him loads of food every day. He's 82 yrs old and semi-senile.
Jon, I sympathize with you! When my dad had to rehab at an awful facility years back, the poor old woman across from him would CRY in pain for help and I finally got so pissed off at the fact that the lazy-ass aides doing nothing more than bs-ing outside at the nurses station completely ignored her, I walked out of my dad's room and yelled to them, "WILL SOMEONE PLEASE HELP THAT WOMAN!"
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like a nightmare - I hope you can come home SOON!!!
People who are extremely annoying should be separated from others. I can't get any rest day or night. I have pity for my hellish roommate but no one has pity for me. Most of the.nurses simply ignore.his antics. It doesn't pay to be nice like I am.
Delete