TRANSFER POSITIVE

Well, I'm finally here. Signature Health Care in Jamestown.

Yesterday (Good Friday) was one heckuva long day. Everything was chaotic (as usual) and I knew nothing of what was going on (as usual).

I got up very early and was told "they" were picking me up at 9:00 a.m. Who were "they"? They were taking me...where?

I thought I had a doctor appointment. I disgarded the hospital gown and put on clothes. A new shirt. And a pair of sweatpants 20X my size.

I always buy medium sweatpants. These were a probable good fit for Jumbo the elephant.

When I was ready, the social worker Jennifer told me they'd pick me up at noon.

Who?

The transport from Signature in Jamestown.

Silent "Yay!" Couldn't believe my ears.

Problem arises. Being in bed far too long, my knees locked. Couldn't bend them at all. I was like a three week corpse. How the hell could I get in a wheel chair? About half an hour later they brought in another chair. Had a place for my stiff legs. Real cute.

I was wheeled down hallways and brought to a room I've never seen before. There was a huge wide screen TV and they put me smack dab in front of it - - so close that I could see everything without glasses.

Two things wrong with the room.

One

Everyone in the room had dementia. Except for me, of course, but that's a matter of debate. They were shouting, peeing on the floor......and vile things I won't mention.

Two

The TV was tuned to the reruns of Little House on the Prairie.

Let me kindly interject here.

I absolutely love Laura Ingalls Wilder and her books. She's an American icon.

BUT

The TV series has NOTHING to do with her books. The network frogs simply stole her name, raped her image, and made a shit TV series (oops, sorry). She must be revolving in her grave.

OK, let's continue

If you were ever in a room filled with dementia victims and was forced to watch rerun after rerun after rerun of Little House dangerously close up - - you'd be crying and praying fervently for death. That's what I was doing.

My stiff legs were sticking up like I was on an ironing board. I couldn't go anywhere. Hour dragged on upon hour.

Finally, finally a worker came by. I asked for the time, she said it was 1:30. She also said Signature Transport was here! I couldn't believe it!

They transfered me into another chair (where my legs were down) and took me to the lobby.

There was Anthony the Signature driver I knew so well and Martha - - the 80-year-old-something nurse who accompanied me on so many journeys.

I was so relieved!!!

The long trip back to Jamestown was wonderful.

Warm partly cloudy afternoon, green rolling hills, dormant trees coming to life, blossoms everywhere. A perfect Good Friday.

Here at Signature they gave me a very good room, everyone remembers me. I'm treated like a king (so far).

Me - - still have many problems, but breathing a big sigh of relief.

Jon, smiling like Bugs Bunny

💜🐰🐣🐥🐤🐇🐰🐥🐤🐇🐰

When I was very young, my parents used to say "Smile like Bugs Bunny" whenever they took my picture.

SPOOKY NIGHT, GENUINE FEAR

 I had written a new blog post yesterday. After the very unnerving incidents that happened to me last night, I deleted that new post. I feel compelled to tell you about what is happening to me lately here in Gainesboro at Waters Rehab.

I now fear for my safety, and I'm not jesting.

I came to Gainesboro in December. Since then, I've had four different roommates.

Roommate #1

Sammy, a former drug addict and ex con. I didn't care about the poor guy's past. The problem was, he had very erratic behavior. Yelling,  cursing, throwing tantrums. He constantly peed in his bed. The urine would flood the floor and eventually flowed under my bed. Not exactly pleasant.

I never complained about Sammy, but he was  (mercifully) transferred to another room.

Roommate #2

Leo, who had dementia. His wife was the woman who talked incessantly. When I got to know her, I really  liked her. She was a good woman. Unfortunately, Leo passed away.

Roommate #3

Glen, a polite and quiet man - - but he had a major memory problem. He kept coming over to my side of the room, looking in all the closets for the restroom. I told him the toilet was on the other side of the room. And I pleaded for him to be very careful, since he had a habit of falling. I kept my "call" button handy, in case he needed  help.

One night I awoke from a sound sleep. I was startled to see an old man, clad in white, standing at the side of my bed. I initially thought it was a ghost. It was Glen, looking for the restroom! This happened numerous times.

Glen was moved to another room. He's a nice guy....but weird.

Wait, my good people. You ain't heard nothin' yet!

Roommate #4

I don't know his name, but the man is completely insane - - crazier than a bed bug.

It would take an extremely loooong blog post to tell all the bizarre things he does. It started with minor (??) things - - like throwing food trays, pooping in his bed, shouting and calling for unknown people.

Then...........

his insanity was focused on me!

As you probably know, I always wait until late at night to do things I need to do - - - like shave, wash my hair, eat my stash of Walmart food, brush my teeth, etc.

Last night, a spooky atmosphere prevailed. Severe storms, lots of thunder, lightning, and torrential rain.

Soooo...

While I was eating my Walmart food, my demented roommate ripped open the dividing curtains between us. He sat on the edge of his bed, and stared at me while I ate.

I was extremely uncomfortable, he had a diabolical look on his face.  I completely ignored him.

After I ate, I tried to shave. He kept gawking at me....and suddenly started throwing things at me! Tissues, plastic cups, a fork.....

this really upset me, but I kept ignoring the cretin. He suddenly closed the curtains between us.

I tried to resume my tasks when

I felt something tugging the blankets on my bed. I looked down and saw his long bare arm, sticking out from the curtains, pulling the blankets off my bed! I couldn't believe it! And how the hell could he reach that far??

I yelled!

While I was yelling, the bastard somehow grabbed my urinal, which was hanging on the side of my bed.

I was absolutely stunned.

He squished the urinal (it's made of plastic) and threw it on the floor!!! Thank God it was empty.

These insane antics terrified me. I pressed the emergency call button...praying he didn't have a knife.

Nurses and workers came into the room. They offered to move my bed to a different room, but I refused. Why the hell should I surrender?

They moved my bed as far from the "roommate" as possible. He wouldn't be able to reach me because he only has one leg and can't stand up.

One of the workers here had pre-warned me that my new roommate was a one-legged monster, but I took it lightly.

I was hesitant to sleep last night for fear he might kill me - - single legged or not.

Now, this morning (Monday) he threw a tantrum and started smashing everything in his reach.

I don't know where they took him, but he's presently out of this room.

I'm exhausted and tired of writing. More later....if I survive.

Jon, 

baffled, flustered, confounded, unnerved, enraged.....(hell, you can fill in the blanks)

I didn't edit this post and I don't care.