TRANSFER POSITIVE

Well, I'm finally here. Signature Health Care in Jamestown.

Yesterday (Good Friday) was one heckuva long day. Everything was chaotic (as usual) and I knew nothing of what was going on (as usual).

I got up very early and was told "they" were picking me up at 9:00 a.m. Who were "they"? They were taking me...where?

I thought I had a doctor appointment. I disgarded the hospital gown and put on clothes. A new shirt. And a pair of sweatpants 20X my size.

I always buy medium sweatpants. These were a probable good fit for Jumbo the elephant.

When I was ready, the social worker Jennifer told me they'd pick me up at noon.

Who?

The transport from Signature in Jamestown.

Silent "Yay!" Couldn't believe my ears.

Problem arises. Being in bed far too long, my knees locked. Couldn't bend them at all. I was like a three week corpse. How the hell could I get in a wheel chair? About half an hour later they brought in another chair. Had a place for my stiff legs. Real cute.

I was wheeled down hallways and brought to a room I've never seen before. There was a huge wide screen TV and they put me smack dab in front of it - - so close that I could see everything without glasses.

Two things wrong with the room.

One

Everyone in the room had dementia. Except for me, of course, but that's a matter of debate. They were shouting, peeing on the floor......and vile things I won't mention.

Two

The TV was tuned to the reruns of Little House on the Prairie.

Let me kindly interject here.

I absolutely love Laura Ingalls Wilder and her books. She's an American icon.

BUT

The TV series has NOTHING to do with her books. The network frogs simply stole her name, raped her image, and made a shit TV series (oops, sorry). She must be revolving in her grave.

OK, let's continue

If you were ever in a room filled with dementia victims and was forced to watch rerun after rerun after rerun of Little House dangerously close up - - you'd be crying and praying fervently for death. That's what I was doing.

My stiff legs were sticking up like I was on an ironing board. I couldn't go anywhere. Hour dragged on upon hour.

Finally, finally a worker came by. I asked for the time, she said it was 1:30. She also said Signature Transport was here! I couldn't believe it!

They transfered me into another chair (where my legs were down) and took me to the lobby.

There was Anthony the Signature driver I knew so well and Martha - - the 80-year-old-something nurse who accompanied me on so many journeys.

I was so relieved!!!

The long trip back to Jamestown was wonderful.

Warm partly cloudy afternoon, green rolling hills, dormant trees coming to life, blossoms everywhere. A perfect Good Friday.

Here at Signature they gave me a very good room, everyone remembers me. I'm treated like a king (so far).

Me - - still have many problems, but breathing a big sigh of relief.

Jon, smiling like Bugs Bunny

💜🐰🐣🐥🐤🐇🐰🐥🐤🐇🐰

When I was very young, my parents used to say "Smile like Bugs Bunny" whenever they took my picture.

ALMOST

 

Almost the end of February. Almost heading for spring. I'm almost feeling a teeny tiny smidgeon of optimism. And I'm almost feeling in a good mood. Almost.

Good moods are almost foreign to me. I seem to have lost them during recent brutal times.

Devout pessimists like myself are very careful about feeling good. If you're too jubilant, something bad will inevitably happen. It's a fact, known as a certainty by seriously neurotic people.

I'm not referring to myself, of course. 

(stop that smirking and snickering)

This will be a haphazard post, jumping from one unrelated subject to another.

That's how my mind has always worked....jumping from one unrelated subject to another.

In a previous recent post, I mentioned that I got a phone call from the Dragon Lady whom I'll now call Tira  (that's not her real name) from Signature Health Care in Jamestown. She wants me to come back to Signature.

I was shocked and delighted to hear that. I've had issues about Signature in the past, but it's a heckuva better place than where I am now. At least everything is organized there and the staff knows (generally) what they're doing.

Besides, my home is in Jamestown. Everyone in Signature knows me very well (nobody ever forgot the massive hemorrhages from the cancerous wound on my arm). And all those nurses and other people who forced me to autograph my books (remember that?).

Embarrassing as heck.

I'm a very modest, humble, unobtrusive person. Of course, you'd never know it by reading this blog.

I needed to talk to Jennifer, my social worker here in Gainesboro, about leaving for Signature, but she's been absent all week due to illness.

I contacted Tira yesterday and she assured me that she's working on the transfer.

Will see.

Did anyone watch the Winter Olympics? I only got glimpses of it on YouTube. Nowadays finding a way to see all of the Olympics  is like searching for the Holy Grail. Is it still on NBC?

If you have a TV, there are probably 500 channels.

Turning back time.....

When I was a kid, watching the Olympics was like finding the Holy Grail. Everything was simple back then.

My parents turned on our black & white portable TV, tuned in to NBC (channel 4 in Los Angeles). And we watched every minute of the Olympics - - from opening ceremony......until the torch was extinguished on the final night.

I mostly watched clips of the Olympic ice skating on YouTube this year. I thought most of the skaters were exellent.

A tragedy that American men's skater Ilia Malinin could have won the gold if he didn't fall.

And the American pair skaters could have won the gold, if the biased judges didn't put France in first place.

The Olympic judges were always biased. Remember the days of the Soviet Union?

Naw, you're too young.

What scared me the most was the heavy makeup on most of the female skaters.

What's with the massive RED lipstick? It was like a Max Factor Festival.

A horrifying example was skater Amber Glenn when she made a boo-boo.

I'll be brutally blunt....

Her face looks like a death mask of Bette Davis.

(am I cruel? I think I'm funny)

Young ladies shouldn't destroy their youth by packing enough makeup on to look like an 85 yr.old drag queen.

BTW the French pairs female skater looked really lovely because her makeup was very light (I don't recall her name - - look it up).

Well, I have a lot more to say but I'll cut it short.

I don't want you to have too much of a good thing.

Jon ❤️ a good thing

I'm going to order more food from Walmart today (Saturday). Wish me luck.

I keep trying over and over to reply to your comments, but it isn't working. Another annoying Blogger glitch.