ONLY A DREAM

 

It was only a dream and it has vanished. My favorite season, favorite month, my desperate yearning to see my rural home and beautiful property.

Perchance of a dream.

"We dare not go ashore lest perchance we should fall into some snare."

Old English saying, old French? I remember that from vague childhood.

Of course, there are no happy endings. I've said that...many times.

A very serious back/spinal flare up has prevented me from my plans for escape. My left leg is completely swollen, I am in severe pain. I'm getting such excruciating spasms that I scream in absolute agony. No exaggeration.

Nurses are consulting doctors for.....more meds. Probably muscle "relaxers." Shall I laugh? You can see my bitterly sweet smile.

 Ironically, when I came in here several months ago I had the exact problem with my right leg. Now that's gone to the left. Bitter irony exists.

But, wait! Perhaps I can conquer the struggle and.....survive....??

I'm remembering....

The little choo-choo that said....I can......I think I can........

It's Halloween! We should celebrate! I can only offer my (paltry imaginative) visions of this season. My mind is muddled with vicious medications that I'm being plied with. Who knows how this post will materialize. ???

Jon 🤎 timidly hopeful

Don't be afraid to comment. Thanks to a recent big Blogger glitch, I still can't reply to them. My attempted replies keep mysteriously vanishing.

You, of course, keep me going with your thoughts and encouragement. 

You might not know this -  because my brutal sarcasm sometimes gets in the way - -but I cherish you for your opinions and thoughtfulness. 

I made several of these and didn't know which to choose.

The guy in the middle is demanding for treats - - perhaps a little catnip candy......or tuna....

Puppies love Halloween, too, but look sad and hate to see it go....

Intriguing witches cast midnight spells to enchant the red foxes.

These wolf pictures are my favorites (I made about a dozen versions)- - recently edited these to make them brighter, but my effort made them more gaudy I think (??)

.....and Halloween is (regrettably) winding down like a wayward clock. . I have a passion for Halloween clocks....Paranormal John gave me the incentive.....

Getting acquainted with the rambunctious  geese...

....and other autumnal wild life

Getting acquainted under the Harvest Moon.....don't shudder....anything can happen under the spell of an autumn moon

Goddess of Autumn

Some sheep being soothed by a shepherd boy's flute

Mellow, nostalgic, intoxicating days.....

Surrealistic, uncertain nights...

Things you might find on unknown paths

To the depth of unwanted dreams......

This post is definitely too long, but autumn is never too long.

It could last as a priceless eternal memory

almost a dream

almost

FOUL!!!

I'm in one of my notorious foul moods and don't know exactly why. I'm thoroughly tired of the endless battles of existence. I'm disgusted of being trapped here in this physical "therapy" prison. I'm becoming a hater of humanity. A possible misanthrope.

Now that I established that horrifying fact, I'll enchant you with a medical update (I've been writing them for the past two years, and they sicken me).

Psychotically depressed?

If you were trapped in this friggin' place for six months, I guaran-damn-tee you'd be suicidal.

People coming in and out of my room unannouced all day. Checking my vitals, plying me with pills, examining me, questioning me, gawking, showing up EXACTLY when I'm pis- - peeing in the urinal. That's an unmitigated joy.

I've had a fever for two days. All I did last night was shiver uncontrollably.

What about the radiation? Two wound care doctors showed up yesterday. The new one is a clown. The last thing I need is a visit with Bozo.

My "regular" wound care dr. rebandaged my arm, MUCH too tightly. The pain shoots down to my fingers.

She said the cancer is shrinking and it's not bleeding too much. Last night I put a pad under my arm and it wasn't leaking, like it always does.

We're supposed to wait a week or so, to see if the radiation is continually working.....

another interruption while I'm writing this.

So waiting, waiting, waiting waiting, endlessly perpetually waiting

In the meantime, I created a lot more autumn images......which I know will thrill the dire unimaginative.

I'll put them in my next post and I know you can't wait.

Boys and girls, if I didn't have this as a haphazard hobby, I'd be cutting my wrists....and I am NOT jesting.

You have your sweet begonias and ice cream socials.

I have nothing

Jon   👹👺    Foul