I dug deep (very deep) into the bottom of my culinary files to find some tempting food that will be sure to ignite any party.
Obligatory notice:
It is not my intention to offend , but merely to entertain. Please keep that in mind.
Start out the evening with some rousing sheep penis hor d'oeuvres
(don't blame me - - I innocently found it on the Internet)
.......and keep the bubbles going all evening long with Arse champagne.....
The element of surprise is a sure-fire way to stimulate even the most boring and unwanted guest. Let these culinary inspirations expand your imagination.
Happy pork luncheon meat
A liverwurst and peas roll
Keeping with the peas theme, a peas and carrot gelatin mold
An unforgettable egg and shrimp ring
Who wouldn't want to try this mystery meat inspiration?
Guests will be unbearably eager to dig into this tempting eel casserole.....
.....and fish head pie......
The piece de resistance -
a boar's head centerpiece
This jellied tongue mold will leave everyone speechless
If your guests liked the mystery meat dish, they will absolutely love this mystery seafood platter
These black tacos with cabbage will infuse everyone with South of the Border fever!
Astonish your guests by serving an entire party in one glass
Everyone will be singing praises for purple weenies!
Ready for dessert?
How about a slice of broccoli cake...
..... spam cupcakes.....
......and a breathtaking - not to mention healthy - vegan cake!
Bon appetit!
from Jon
Bon appetit!
from Jon
all i can say is yuck.
ReplyDeleteI'm in the wrong business. I should have been a food caterer.
DeleteDear Jon, I love this post! So full of culinary imagination --and nostalgia: as a group, I doubt humans have sung "praises for purple weenies" since the Mesolithic Calendar was replaced by something portable (try hanging Stonehenge on the kitchen door).
ReplyDeleteGeo, I had a lot of fun doing this post - - - which proves I've been alone in the wilderness too long.
DeleteLaughed out loud at these, Jon! WHERE did you find them? There are some real jewels. (Well, not REAL jewels, actually, which are hard on the teeth, but you know what I mean I hope). I see, though, that you have not had access to my World War 2 cookbook (which I have dug out of retirement now Britain is heading for a Brexit that will beggar the whole country) It is a wonderland of of delicious and SO cheap dishes!! My favourite is the lifelike "chocolate buns" made of stale bread rolls, steeped in cocoa and artificial sweetener and allowed to dry out. Enjoy! And if you're at a loss for any other British recipes for your New Years party, don't be too shy to ask!
ReplyDeleteJenny, all I had to do was Google "worst food ever" and I was rewarded with a virtual banquet of horrifying photos and ideas.
DeleteI could really make good use of that World War II cookbook. I always have a surplus of stale bread...
Er.. no thanks. Not even a little taste would pass my lips without a shudder.... lol.
ReplyDeleteI suppose this disgusting party "menu" would be beneficial for people who want to go on a diet.
DeleteThanks! I particularly liked the broccoli cake, it would be such a wonderful surprise when you cut into it.
ReplyDeleteI think I'll pass on the broccoli cake - but maybe I'll try a spam cupcake....
DeleteOMG, Jon! Were I starving, I'd go for the broccoli cake. Perhaps the spam. The rest? I'm thinking of printing these out as an appetite suppressant.
ReplyDeleteDon't be a party pooper, Myra. You should really try the eel casserole.
DeleteOMG! I'd politely pass on every single one of these delectable treats. Yucky is the word. LOL! Hard to believe people eat these. In many cultures the food would be the hardest for me to adjust to. Awk!
ReplyDeleteI'm still trying to figure out what that "mystery meat" is, but perhaps it's best if we never know....
DeleteYou lost me at the broccoli cake. I'll try almost anything, but I draw the line there. I do have a tip, avoid the smoked eels that have been left out in the sun for 4 or 5 hours, voice of experience on that one.
ReplyDeleteThe broccoli cake scares me, but the eel terrifies me. I'll probably have a cautious sample of the spam cupcake.
DeleteJon, the egg and shrimp ring actually looks delicious to me! However, Emily Dickinson and Sylvia Plath are my favorite poets - this speaks volumes :-)
DeleteI am still not doing so good health wise, but I take it a day at a time. Honestly, I most often feel like I am trapped in one of Kafka's most nightmarish books!
But there are good sudden moments to appreciate: Two crows landed right outside my window by my desk, and I see this as a positive sign for better things to come in 2019. These were friendly crows (not the Hitchcock sort).
Anyway, I just want to wish you (and your sweet cats), Geo, Helga, Susan, and all of your other faithful readers a fantastic 2019.
If I've left anybody out, please forgive me: My mind is functioning on a 30% level at best.
I love and miss you all big time.
Dylan
Dylan, it's always good to hear from you and reassuring to know that you're thinking of me (and your other fans). I'm really sorry to hear that you're having health problems. I hope those two crows are a sign of positive things for you in 2019.
DeleteI've been experiencing an enormous amount of problems, including numerous health issues, but I try to "downplay" them in my blog for fear of turning off my readers. I try to pretend things are going great (and, believe me, it isn't easy).
Truthfully, I've been in a deep depression for a long time - but I simply plod on with the delusion (illusion?) that things will get better.
Anyway, take care, keep in touch, and keep posting on your blog (I always read your posts). My kitties and I send love.
How can I un-see this post?
ReplyDeleteMonica, if you drink enough Arse Champagne, you'll eventually be able to forget the food!
ReplyDelete