RED SKY WARNING

 

Red sky at morning, sailors take warning

Fair warning that I'm reluctant to post due to relentless depression. I'm tired of putting on my faux Pollyanna face and forcing myself to pretend that things are getting better. Things are not better.

Cancer, congestive heart failure, radical edema. Since the meds aren't helping at all, my uneducated guess is that it's lymphoedema.

Diuretics do a great job of making me pee, but they don't do a damn thing to reduce the swelling. When I'm in bed, the pain in my ankles and feet is excruciating.

I'm unnervingly used to pain. It has been my constant companion for over a year.

The horrible fall that I had on January 13 (I think) has completely destroyed my back.

When I came home from rehab, I was making good progress learning to walk again. Thanks to my latest fall, my back is an agony and I can hardly limp around with the walker.

I've just listed all the positive things in my current life. I won't dare mention the negatives.

Am I being sarcastic?

I don't know. You call the shots.

Adventures to fulfill my empty, agonizing days......

I'm slowly cleaning up the house, removing clutter and trash, trying to make it look like it did before I was sick. Not an easy task, but I'm making progress. Me and my walker have become an inseparable team.

The light in the kitchen burned out. Have you ever tried to replace a light bulb when you can't stand up straight and creep around like Quasimodo?

Don't try to visualize this. You'll hurt yourself.

I also accidentally broke the light in the refrigerator. Having a hard time replacing it.

Last night I went out on the back porch to empty a pan (I don't like to dump things down the kitchen drain). I dared to use a cane instead of my walker (that's how I fell in January).

While I'm emptying the pan- - very unsteady on my feet - - a pack of coyotes appeared out of the forest, very near my property. They gave unearthly howls in unison, while I stumbled to the back door and managed to get inside.

I can only imagine what would have happened if I fell.

At least I had my cell phone.

Change of subject.

FedEx has been delivering my packages to the wrong address. As usual. I furiously filed some fiery complaints. On Sunday afternoon I found my latest missing package on the front porch. Six days late - - but better late than never.

So where are the home care nurses?

Very scarce. There used to be four of them. One quit the nursing routine to work in the office. So now there are only three.

Lately I get two visits a week. This time around, I haven't heard from any of them for well over a week. I'm not complaining. It's just frustrating never knowing when one will show up.

I have a lot more boring things to tell......and a heckuva lot more complaints, but I'll spare you.

Speaking of boring things, here are a few pics taken today from the front porch. I can't take any good photos of the back yard forest - - because the view is obscured from toppled trees that were never removed.

Cheers, Jon

Red morning sky from my bedroom window