RESOLUTIONS 2015

 

My New Year Resolutions for 2015
(in no particular order)


Get more RAM.

Quit being envious of those annoying people who have 850,000 "followers" on Blogger.

Expunge Windows 8.1

Memorize my fifty different passwords

Reveal my real age - - which will finally put an end to those nasty rumors that I was at the battle of Las Guasimas with Teddy Roosevelt's Rough Riders.

Enter rehab for eBay addiction.

Turn my cell phone on for at least ten minutes a day.

New boots.

Learn to clog.

Say something nice about Obama.
OUCH!! That one hurts like a circumcision without anesthesia.

Shave my mustache.
Naw. Then I'll look too young. It will startle and confuse everybody.

Enter rehab for Downton Abbey addiction.

Stay sober at least three days a month.
Yes, but WHICH three days?

Update my Pinterest account (which I haven't visited in years)

Stop breaking abruptly for tailgaters.

Be tolerant of children.
Yea, right. When they start selling pork chops in Jeddah. Who do you think I am, Mary Poppins?

Sanitize my vocabulary.

Less sweets, more fiber.

Floss

Remove those stupid Interview links on my blog sidebar. (keep scrolling - -  you'll find them)

Never drink King Cobra malt liquor with Tequila chasers on an empty stomach.

Have my ass tattooed with the motto semper fidelis.

Leave BEFORE dawn, so I don't actually see who I was in bed with the night before.

Stop going to McDonalds when I'm in the mood for fine cuisine.

Stop adopting stray cats.

Stop adopting stray cowboys.
Whoops! That one got in by mistake. For a moment I thought I was still living in Texas.
And I was only joking.
Or was I?


Don't give up reading my blog. I'm still going to write about the adventures I had while driving from Texas to Tennessee.

By the way, my furniture is expected to FINALLY be delivered on Tuesday 6th. Will I ever actually sleep in a real bed again??



Okay, I'll admit it:
they're not quite as funny as I initially thought

2015 Day One

The New Year's Eve moon

rising above trees in my back yard.

Quiet. Reflective. Uneventful. Solitudinous.
That sums up my New Year's Eve.

My Spell Check just informed me that there's no such word as solitudinous. I beg to disagree.

It is difficult for me to believe that I've actually left West Texas behind. I still occasionally hear the screaming winds and taste the thick dust and feel the parched, arid air, and look in my boots for scorpions before putting them on.

Then - just to reassure myself - I look out any one of my windows and see mountain views. Tall trees. Wilderness. I hear the incredible silence. I inhale fresh, pure air. And I know I'm in a different place.

This was the most quiet New Year's Eve I ever remember. Absolutely no one around, but me and the trio of cats. When I ventured outside after dark I could hear only the sounds of distant animals echoing through the canyons. Coyotes and wild dogs, neighboring cows and horses. An owl now and then. It was crystal clear and very cold-- 17 degrees.

New Year's Eve was thoroughly enjoyable - despite the fact that I'm still living in an empty house. For now, the laptop is my only source of entertainment - and my cell phone is my unwanted but vital connection to civilization.
I'm uncharacteristically content.

I've lived a wild, exciting, and turbulent life. I've done more things than I'd ever care to remember. Or reveal. Yet I love this newly found isolation.

You're getting old, Jon, that's what it is. Admit it.

Bullshit.

I snapped a few New Year's Eve photos with my cell phone camera. The picture resolution is poor. I have an El Cheapo Tracfone  LG305C which doesn't transfer photos to a computer. I have to email them to myself and then upload them to a photo file. I'm a quill pen, scroll, and candlelight kind of guy. Modern technology  simultaneously baffles and annoys me.

Anyway, here are token souviners of my Mountain New Year's Eve.

The last sunset of 2014

 

 

 



My tiny, impromptu Christmas tree

on New Year's Eve

 

 

The tree from my kitchen window

 

 

 

The setting moon

from my living room window

(it looked much more impressive in real)

 

But Jon - - don't you have any curtains on your windows?

 

Hey, I'm in the middle of nowhere. Who's gonna see me? Big Foot?

I eventually plan on putting up wooden blinds (the same kind I had in Texas). Curtains annoy me.

 

 

I truly hope all of my blog friends and anonymous readers have an incredible 2015 - - filled with contentment, joyous discoveries, good health, warm memories, love, and peace from within.      Jon



Here's an excellent New Year's Day blog post from my Blogger friend Tony in Los Angeles. His insight is always worth reading.

http://leavingcaliblog.blogspot.com/2015/01/happy-new-year-faggot.html