It's a cold, rainy night. I'm having trouble with my computer keyboard (again). I'm in a foul mood and don't give a flying crap about blogging. And - for the first time in my life - I have no photos to accompany my post.
But I promised that I'd write about my horrible experience in town last week. So, gather 'round, boys and girls - here we go.
It's no secret that I absolutely dread making the long, perilous drive to town. I'd rather be hung upside down by my toes, stark naked, in the town square
Don't try to visualize that. You'll hurt yourself.
After living here for six years I still haven't gotten used to navigating the narrow, endlessly winding mountain road.
I can only describe it as being like a roller coaster ride from hell in a Twilight Zone episode.
There are times when I actually get physically ill anticipating the drive, and I often procrastinate as long as possible.
I decided to go last Tuesday (the 24th), before Thanksgiving. My plan was to embark early in the morning, do my shopping as quickly as possible, and come home immediately.
A no-nonsense excursion.
The drive was fairly decent - no traffic and surprisingly nice weather. When I get to town my routine is always the same:
I dump my trash at the town trash depository (or whatever it's called). Next I go to the bank (drive-through window), then I go to Walmart and the supermarket (the only two major places to shop).
Things were going normally (or as "normal" as they ever get) until I was about a block away from the bank.
Suddenly - -
Yes, VERY suddenly
my car began bouncing up and down and making horrifying banging and clanging sounds. My first panic-stricken thought was that the entire engine was falling out
(I'm not mechanically inclined - - what the heck do I know??).
I made it into the bank parking lot and managed to park the car. I was reluctant to get out for fear of what I'd see.
I got out...and the car looked okay. Nothing discernibly wrong. Then I ventured over to the other side of the car. The passenger side.
The front tire was flat. Actually, it was more than flat. It was completely shredded and nearly gone! I'd never seen anything like it.
Here's my BIG QUESTION:
When the hell did this happen??? My drive to town was completely smooth. If there was anything wrong with the tire, I would have surely noticed.
So here I am at the bank, stranded with a shredded tire...and no spare.
Fortunately
for a rare change, good luck was with me. I had a working cell phone AND there was a phone book in the car (I had planned to bring the phone book in the house but never got around to doing it).
Cut to the chase, Jon. Your readers are getting bored.
I'm NEVER boring, Kemosabe. Annoying, maybe, but not boring.
After making several phone calls (which was a problem since I can't see anything without reading glasses), I found a local guy who was able to tow my car to a local tire "shop".
The towing guy said all of my tires looked bad and I should probably get all new ones.
So that's what I did. The people at the tire shop were really nice,and the cost...wasn't too bad.......
but I was trying to be financially frugal this month and it took a painful chunk out of my savings.
To make a long story short (which has never been one of my fortes), I was in the tire place for about two hours. By the time I got to Walmart, I was so frazzled that I couldn't remember what I needed to buy.
And, as usual, they were low on many items.
The toilet paper aisle was COMPLETELY EMPTY. No T.P. , no paper towels, not even any Kleenex.
What the hell is going on? Were people stocking up for Thanksgiving??
I don't have any suitable way to end this story, but I can assure you that I plan on writing a letter to Santa and begging him to send toilet paper for Christmas.
