Okay, let's tally up the negatives:
I lost my youth, lost my looks, lost my health, lost my money, lost my dignity.....
You didn't think I ever had dignity, did you?
Now I lost my memory.
I could probably tell this story in thirty seconds, but I want to drag it out for the sake of drama. It adds to my intrigue...and annoys my readers.
About a week ago, late one night, I was doing some work on my laptop when suddenly I lost my Internet connection. No big deal. It's happened before and usually comes back on within an hour or so.
This time the Internet didn't return.
The next morning I checked my computer. No Internet connection. In frustration, exasperation, and mounting panic, I tried everything possible to resolve the problem and resume the connection. I checked all connections on my two computers, scrutinized every wire, rebooted my router (that sounds kinda obscene, but I have a dirty mind).
Nothing worked.
I was very hesitant to call my Internet provider's customer service. The last time they sent someone out it was a rather unpleasant experience. The guy was gruff and condescending.
I (foolishly) decided to wait another day and see if my Internet connection would miraculously be restored by magic.
In the meantime my acute apprehension was mounting. The computer is my ONLY connection to the outside world. I have no television. The radio hardly picks up any stations. The clearest station I get is one from Kentucky.
The computer is my sole source for news, weather, and entertainment. I pay my bills online, do shopping online, keep in touch with friends.
After infinitely waiting with waning patience, I finally grabbed my landline phone to call customer service. There was no dial tone. Instead, I got a rude recording that pronounced:
Your service has been suspended! Contact your Internet service provider!
Holy crapola! No Internet and no phone! (In order to have broadband, I'm also forced to have a landline phone - company policy so they can make more money).
Thank God I have a cell phone - - but cell phone signals are very temperamental out here in the boonies.
In order to get a cell signal, I usually have to stand on the front porch and hold the phone facing east.
I stood on the front porch facing east. I made a successful call to my Internet provider.
I was informed that my service was suspended due to non-payment. I didn't pay my bill for April.
I couldn't believe it. I might be crazy, but I'm consistently concise. I never miss payments.
Just to be sure, I called the bank and had them check my account. To my absolute astonishment, there was no transaction with my Internet provider in April. I didn't pay my bill!
Besides being embarrassed and humiliated, I was perplexed. How the hell did I miss paying the bill? Was I finally losing my memory? I suspected that it would eventually go - - but not this soon.
I plan to be much more careful in the future.
Yesterday I forced myself to drive to town, where I paid the bill in person - - and stocked up on much-needed groceries.
Anyway, after a long week, I'm glad to be back online.
