THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND RELIEF

 Relief? Of course. Christmas is over! Nothing now but a passing memory. Not only relief, but also release from holiday bondage.

Perhaps you enjoyed it and want no release.

As for me....

This Christmas Eve and Christmas Day were so unbearably miserable and appalling that I won't dare attempt to describe it. 

It would be much too painful.

I spent Christmas in a chaotic insane asylum. Screaming and yelling inmates, horrible food. A nearby television (some other room) blasted full-volume all day and most of the night. I had to use makeshift earplugs.

Peace on Earth. My ass.

I haven't told the worst. I wouldn't dare.

The good?

I had this room to myself. My roommate was taken to the hospital for a bleeding ulcer.

He came back yesterday....pissed in his bed and it overflowed to the floor, heading towards my bed.

Joy to the World!

Damn the world. How the heck did I get here? How the hell do I get out??

Illustrations for you pleasure

To my left....

An enthralling window to see

To my right....

The curtain that seperates me from my enchanting roommate

It's an absolute delight to wake up and face another day.

BUT - - - -

Just before Christmas, there were people bearing gifts!

A group called Visiting Angels brought me a big package! It contained a new pillow, a new blanket, a (yes, new) shirt and pair of pants. Slippers.....and a word puzzle book.

I was pleasantly astounded.

THEN

One of the workers here brought a lovely gift bag, containing at least a dozen edible goodies.

A blue gift bag, these are a few of the contents.

A chocolate caramel reindeer with pretzel antlers

Holy goodness - - there is a Santa Claus!

The kindness of others always makes a very positive impact. Thank God for caring people.

I am truly in the most serious depression of my life. I have considered ******* to escape. And I'm not jesting.

These unexpected gifts buoyed my spirits. Simple things mean a lot.

What's next?

New Year's Eve.....

and perhaps a new path towards light.

...do I use too many dots?

Don't you wish I used some of my AI creations? Of course you do!

Jon  ⛄️🌲❤️🌲⛄️

a lousy post, but I can't be perfect or charming all the time......

Can I?

CHRISTMAS

The Winter Solstice, Christmas, and soon the new year....and as I grow older, ellusive time flies by with an impossible pace.

A Christmas sentiment?

All I can wish for you and your loved ones are

BLESSINGS, PEACE, AND CONTENTMENT.

As if you hadn't already been assaulted with enough holiday music, I'm offering more. Nothing special, just two of my humble musical Christmas cards. I post these every year.

 I recorded White Christmas long ago on a cassette tape, that was eventually moldy and rotting in the garage. I repaired the tape, edited it and transferred it to a mp3 file simply to save it. Then I made the video.

The second video ( Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas)  was filmed on an ancient Sony camcorder when I lived in Texas. The camera was much too close to the piano, which distorted the audio.

Fascinating information for Christmas, huh?

What could be more exciting than my music and AI pictures? Please don't throw your fruitcakes at me!

My Christmas Eve was far less than magical, it's rather too unnerving to discuss.

After a few more AIs, I'll quietly take my leave.

Jon  🌲⛄️❤️⛄️🌲

with peppermint kisses to all

ALMOST

 

I'm whispering. Christmas is almost here. In my miserable, dire, gloomy situation here in the purgatory of physical therapy, I'm not in a celebratory mood. But let's expunge that for now. I won't trash Christmas as I did in my previous post.

What should I write about?

I don't have very many interesting holiday stories to tell. My parents celebrated Christmas when I was a small child. But......truth to tell......

....my parents were absolute direct opposites, but they agreed on certain things. Both of them disliked parties, social gatherings, and holidays. 

They eventually stopped indulging in Christmas when I was still a fairly young age. I suppose I was very similar to them. I didn't really care. They gave me things when I wanted them. They always remembered my birthday.

So there.

Tonight I'm remembering  Christmases so long ago that they seem to be in another realm.

When I was a young child in New Jersey, old holiday traditions still prevailed. People had real genuine pine trees.

(yes, I'm aware of the negative aspects of destroying trees just for a holiday.....artificial ones are much more convenient....but.....I hate artificiality, that's my preference).

The old tradition back then was to decorate the tree on Christmas Eve (usually during the day)....and take it down after New Year's Day.

Nowadays the tree is put up in early September....and reluctantly taken down after Easter....

Very slight exaggeration. Very.

Do we still treasure hand-written Christmas Cards?

Not when cards are $10+ and postage stamps are...what....$5.....??

I lost track when stamps were 50 cents.

Anyway, Xmas cards were a big deal when I was a child. And my parents strung them up in lovely rows across the walls.

What about Santa? I was an extremely gullible child. If I wasn't told that there's no Mr. Claus, I'd still believe in him.

I remember one snowy day, my Uncle Steve (Aunt Irene's husband) called up and pretended he was Santa Claus. I was about four yrs. old and fell for the ploy. I regurgitated the list of toys I wanted. Good ol' Uncle Steve did a plausible Imitation of the hohoho Claus fellow.

Those were blissfully golden years when I was adorably innocent.

You should see me now.

Jon 🌲⛄️❤️⛄️🌲

as far from innocence as anyone can get

Heck, I still luv my sweet AI creations.

Tidings of good cheer. More blogging ahead.....

IT MIGHT BE CHRISTMAS

I'm so cold and confused that I hardly know what day it is. Christmas? Heck, I wish it were the Fourth of July. This Arctic winter wonderland is killing me. 

On the bright side, it's slowly warming (?) up. The temperature is no longer sub-zero. It's presently 16 degrees (Fahrenheit). Last night (Christmas Eve) it was zero.
The space heater in my bedroom warms the room sufficiently. I have two heaters in the kitchen, but it's still cold.

Despite my dismal situation, I was pleasantly surprised by two recent things:

1. I survived the very worst and coldest days of the winter storm, in this drafty shack with no central heat.

2. I was genuinely surprised at the many people who were worried about me. Your concern means a lot more than you'll ever know.

I just realized that I haven't made the harrowing journey to town in about two months. I've been ordering all my supplies from Walmart (FedEx delivery people must be exhausted from coming here).

It's been a challenge, since Walmart doesn't deliver perishable food to my rural area. The only milk I have is canned evaporated milk and goat's milk. I bake my own bread, pies, and tortillas. 

Since I can't get fresh meat, I recently ordered some imported German sausage from another company that (miraculously) delivers to my area. It is absolutely delicious - - but expensive.

My "Christmas" dinner today consisted of sausage, green beans, cranberries, and sweet potatoes. And a pumpkin pie that I made yesterday.

I also make a lot of homemade soup. My favorite soup is chicken and vegetables. I generally use corn, carrots, and green beans. Since I don't have any chicken, I use Tyson's canned chicken white meat - which is perfect in soup.

Gonna make more soup tonight,

This post is boring....at least I think so.

Here are a few recent photos.

 

Colored lights and candles. I took these pics in the dark without a camera flash.

Not exactly Christmasy, but I think it's beautiful. I got this at an auction in Texas. It's a prayer box made in 1885 from an old New England church. The pieta statue is made of porcelain.

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

recorded in San Angelo, Texas

HUMBUG WITH AUDIO ENHANCEMENTS

 

I'm not in a holiday mood.
 In fact, my sentiments coincide with those of Scrooge:
"Every idiot who goes about with a 'Merry Christmas' on his lips, should be boiled with his own pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart."

People are forcing themselves to comply with fake holiday cheer and indulge in worthless seasonal rituals that empty pockets and sap  energy. 

I've dug into dusty music files and extracted a couple of my piano videos in order to evoke a smidgen of holiday enthusiasm.

My uncanny blogger intuition tells me that nobody likes my piano videos.
Well, tough crap.
I'm damn good.
Or at the very least, possibly reasonably good.  

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas
recorded in San Angelo, Texas

Troika (Sleigh Ride) by Tchaikovsky 

 

MY VERSION OF HUMBUG

Humbug?
Yea. That's my general opinion of the holiday season. And I have my reasons.

I won't mention the fact that Christmas originally stems from pagan festivities in ancient Babylon. Or that December 25th isn't the birthday of Jesus.

But, Jon, it doesn't matter. It's the thought that counts. Keeping Christ in our hearts.

Time for a reality check:
Christ was extracted from Christmas years ago by anti-Christian radicals.
"Merry Christmas" is passe.
Any semblance of Christianity in Christmas has been usurped by the true God of Holidayism:

Commercialization.   
Rampant, rabid, relentless commercialization.
Buybuybuybuybuybuybuybuybuy.

If it wasn't for the enormous amount of money Christmas generates, the holiday would be banned.
 
But these are just my random, fleeting thoughts. No offense is intended.

The Christmas season is devised to tug mercilessly at our heart strings - and it does. Despite the frantic hypocrisy and acute stress, it exudes an incredibly potent amount of sentimentality - which is infused with a smidgen of truth and a generous dose of wishful thinking.

The magic of childhood, the warmth of family and friends, the golden glow of halcyon memories.

In retrospect, it probably wasn't half as good in reality as it is in the biased safety of memories.

I'm speaking only for myself, of course, not for anyone else.

My personal memories of the Christmas season are tainted with many (and I mean many) painful ones - some of which I would be extremely reluctant to write about. 

I never celebrated Christmas as an adult. And yet - as a diehard sentimentalist myself - I love the essence of the season:
The colored lights and decorations, the fantastic food, the scent of pine trees and peppermint and oranges, the illusion of peace and goodwill, and especially the mystical spell of magic.....

....being mentally transported back to early childhood where sweet innocence and blissful naivety prevailed.

I yearn for the purity of that long-ago past - no matter how fleeting it was. I yearn for that precious season of contentment. 

Somewhere, beyond all the frantic holiday fury, it can possibly still be found. 

 

VARYING DEGREES OF HUMBUG

The above photo was taken when I had just turned three years old. I look older, because I was a very tall kid. My father wrote the date on the reverse side of the photo and he was never wrong. Trust me on that.

I was an extremely gullible child, and would have probably continued believing in Santa Claus well into my 40's - - if my parents hadn't dispelled the myth by telling me the truth when I was six. Yet, despite my gullibility, even at the tender age of three I was highly suspicious of this strange dude clad in a red suit at the local department store. Somehow, the booze on his breath and the unnervingly cold hands gave me reason to suspect that he wasn't the genuine article.

That was one helluva coat I was wearing (and I think it was a matching hat)

When I was four years old, one of my uncles - plied with too much Pabst Blue Ribbon and Christmas spirit - called us up and pretended he was Santa Claus. Still pathetically naive, I believed him and provided him with my wish-list of toys. Those were the days.

In later years my parents didn't really celebrate Christmas and I didn't really care. Even though my parents were complete opposites, they were in total agreement about their dislike of holidays, parties, and inane social gatherings.

 My first Christmas.
I had just turned one
(my BDay is Dec. 13)

 This is the house where we lived when I was one.

My father took this photo on Christmas Eve.

As for me - I abhor the mass commercialization of Christmas and the relentless brainwashing media agenda of forcing us to comply with it. It's an alarmingly hypocritical and pagan time of year. It  isn't the correct birth date of Jesus. Shepherds weren't abiding in fields in late December. And I doubt if all the blatant holiday ostentation and merciless materialism would have pleased someone so humble and unobtrusive.

How do you know Jesus really existed, Jon?

Hey, Bucko, don't give me the Leon Trotsky shit. How do you know Charles Darwin's monkey really existed? 

You sound very bitter about the holidays, Jon. Where's your Christmas spirit?

Somewhere in the closet. With my alter ego, Scrooge.

In the closet??

Nothing sexual, of course.

I'm not really as bad as I sound. What I like best about the holiday season is the intense festivity of it all. I love the good food and colored lights, the scent of pine trees, the prevailing atmosphere of peace and joy. There is no real peace and joy, of course, but the temporary facsimile is intriguing.

So, what is my Christmas like? Well, I never send cards or buy gifts. And I don't do mega decorations. I'm not that daft. But I always used to have a garland and colored lights on the fireplace mantle. Now that I don't have a fireplace, I might hang garlands and lights on the cats......
......come to think of it, I might hang the cats with lights and garland.

It was a small attempt at humor.
Why isn't anyone laughing?

I have many bad memories of the holiday season, which is one reason why I'm not too thrilled with it. But that's another story for another time.

Whatever your beliefs or non-beliefs - -
Let the holiday season begin!

I was probably three in this photo (possibly four?).

I look kinda cranky, but then, I'm always cranky in the morning.

THIS COULD BE CHRISTMAS DAY

Random pine trees in my back yard

on Christmas morning. Some of them are nearly

100 feet tall. 

 



I'm not exactly sure if it is Christmas. It's too quiet, too isolated, too removed from the frenzy of society. And it's too mild. Where's the snow? Where's the ice? There are pine trees and deer in my back yard. Yet, the weather is so agreeable that tiny birds are fluttering gracefully through the foliage as if they've escaped from a scene in an old Disney animated movie.

I love being in this newly-found wilderness. I'm enthralled with my mountaintop environment - - but I was expecting snow on Christmas. Am I asking for too much?

You're talking too much, Jon, as usual. But we're used to it.

My cat Scruffy at the window

wondering where Santa Claus is.

 

 

Yesterday morning (Christmas Eve) the temp was in the 50's and I was in my shirt sleeves (with pants on, of course). I got an emergency call from the moving company and was compelled to go to the bank (I'll spare you the details). The bank closed at noon and I left the house at 11:20. I drove at breakneck speed through dangerous mountain roads and made it to town just in time.

After the bank ordeal, I went grocery shopping (another ordeal). Then I stopped to see my cousin Nancy. A pleasant visit. We had coffee and talked about old times. All the wild adventures we used to have.

By the time I left for home, the temperature dropped and freezing rain began to fall. The narrow mountain road was slick and more harrowing than usual. Why the hell did I sell my pickup truck in Texas? Actually, I need a couple of pack mules and an Indian guide.

And if anyone tells me that it's now properly called a "Native American Guide" I'm gonna bitch-slap you with my muddy boots.

The woods in my back yard.

Frosty and misty on Christmas Eve.

 

So, how was my Christmas Eve?
I'm living in an empty house with three cats and a creepy recliner chair left by the previous owners. It's not exactly Rodeo Drive.

I bought a small TV table to house my laptop and I have one metal folding chair.....which hurts my ass so much that I had to put a pillow on it.

All in all it's not too bad. I'm a masochist. I'm used to roughing it. I stocked up on groceries. I don't plan to venture out to town again until next week.

One minor problem - - I bought a lot of canned goods. It wasn't until I got home that I realized I don't have a can opener. Last night I opened a can of evaporated milk with a screw driver.

Kitchen utensils? I have one small pan, two cups, one plate. My enormous stock of kitchen things are still in storage. Laughing at me.

Prelude to my Christmas dinner:

A plate, a tea mug, two candles

and a tiny Xmas tree. I have the tree on the

countertop so the cats don't devour it.

 

 

I admittedly miss my huge Texas kitchen - with thirty cabinets, two refrigerators, and a big pantry. My kitchen here is tiny - similar to one designed for a Barbie Dream House.
But I'll get used to it. I'm easily adaptable and extremely congenial. Just ask the boys in the band.

Jon, that was crass and completely uncalled for.

Yea, but, as we used to say in journalism - it makes good copy.

So how did I completely stray away from the subject of Christmas Day? My mind trends to wander and I have no control over it. Unless I get a leash.

Hope your Christmas Day was pleasant - - and if it wasn't, I hope you recover from it soon.